Spiritual Family Tree

I have always been fascinated by history, especially the history of my family.  Learning about my roots and the branches of my family tree always interests me. When I discover someone I never knew existed I get especially excited.

I was recently looking at old census records on ancestry.com and found that my grandfather, Michael Conroy, had a little sister.  My family always led me to believe that my grandfather and his four brothers only had one sister (my Aunt Helen).  When I looked at the records and census materials online, I realized that my grandfather had a little sister, Nora, who died at the age of ten from influenza.

While I don't have any other information about young Nora Conroy, I do know that she is part of my family story and that she is someone who I can now pray for (and to) as I include all of my aunts, uncles and cousins in my daily prayer.

I thought of Nora when I came across the story of Saint Dominic Savio.  Dominic was a young student in Italy who lived a holy life that is still remembered today.  On March 9, 1857, Dominic died from complications due to pneumonia at the age of 14.  He had just started studying with Father (later Saint) John Bosco to become a priest in the Salesian order.

Dominic never became an official novice or seminarian, but he was certainly Salesian as he followed the teachings of Saint Francis de Sales. Throughout his short life, young Dominic was able to teach others by his example.  Dominic showed that holiness can be achieved through the practice of simple, everyday actions in our daily life.  Being friendly, faithful and helping others was the way that Dominic put the spirituality of Francis de Sales into practice as a child and teenager.  

Dominic once said, "I am not capable of doing big things, but I want to do everything, even the smallest things, for the greater glory of God."  Saint John Bosco, Dominic's mentor and guide, later described this young saint as someone who found joy and holiness in doing the ordinary things for love of Jesus.  John Bosco would tell the Salesians that "religion must surround us like the air we breathe.  Dominic Savio wore holiness like the clothes on his back."

As I wrote a few weeks ago, the Oblates have always considered the Salesians of Don Bosco as spiritual "cousins."  Just as I was humbled to find my Aunt Nora in the Conroy family story, it is great to discover that the Oblate family has a young cousin like Dominic Savio in our spiritual family tree.   May the example of Saint Dominic inspire all of us - no matter our age - to do the ordinary in an extraordinary way.  As we live each day guided by Jesus, may we work each day for holiness.  Francis de Sales encouraged us to be close to God with these reassuring words:  "Let God be the air in which your heart breathes at ease."  May Saint Dominic Savio and all of the deceased members of our own families help us to find holiness in the air and in our hearts.

Father Jack Kolodziej, OSFS

Provincial, Wilmington-Philadelphia Province

Perfection

When I was a junior at North Catholic High School (Philadelphia, PA), I remember our Christian Morality teacher began the course by quoting the Scripture passage many of us heard last weekend, “Be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Matthew 5:48).  As a 16-year-old average student, this teaching seemed out of reach; it seemed impossible.  I kept asking myself, “How can anyone be perfect?”  I believed that perfection meant being better than others, being without any problems, going through life minus struggles and sins.  With that definition in my mind, I reasoned that only Jesus and the saints were perfect.  Perhaps Jesus did not mean for his followers to take this so literally. 

Today, I think I have a better understanding of this teaching.  Jesus really did mean what he said.  He does not want us to be “average” or “pretty good.”  He wants perfection!  While this is still a challenge, I am able to see that it is possible for all of us.  I think we have to separate the call of Jesus to be our best and the psychological pressure to be flawless.  The latter idea can lead to stress, burnout or guilt.  

The message of Jesus is a call to be perfect, to become perfected and to grow in holiness.  This is the Christian call to become saints.  This is the vocation we were all given at baptism. This is the challenge to transform ourselves into what God has called us to be.  Saint Francis de Sales tells us again and again to “be who you are and be that well.”  If we try our best to be our best, we can transform ourselves and the entire world into the Kingdom of God. 

For de Sales, perfection is about striving to live each and every moment in the Grace of God.  Tomorrow is not yet here and yesterday is gone forever.  All we have is the present moment.  It is in this moment that we are called to live perfectly.  And if we can do this in the present moment, what is keeping us from doing it in the next moment?  Over time, these moments of perfection will get easier and our call to holiness will grow stronger.  Francis encourages us when he wrote, “God will lead us to perfection one step at a time.”

Yesterday, the Church began the season of Lent.  We all know this a penitential period of preparation for Easter.  It is also a time for Christians to prepare for the Kingdom – a time to prepare for perfection. Perhaps this is a moment to pursue holiness.  Perhaps we can make this Lent an opportunity to become a saint!

Father Jack Kolodziej, OSFS

Provincial

Wilmington-Philadelphia Province

Sacred Heart Valentine

As we approach the middle of February, we don’t have to look too far to see images of Valentine’s Day in homes, shops and supermarkets.  Candy, cupids and flowers are also on display, but it is the heart that has become the primary symbol of romance and love.  Many histories of Valentine’s Day propose that the stylized image of a human heart became so popular because it appeals to our senses.  Most of us understand the importance of the heart for our health and well-being and this has been translated into seeing love as central to our life.  

In Catholic culture, the Sacred Heart of Jesus has become an icon of God’s love and mercy.  It is a centuries-old tradition that focuses on Christ’s physical heart as a symbol of His love for humanity.  The devotion has roots in the Middle Ages but it was in the late 17th century that Jesus appeared to Saint Margaret Mary Alacoque, a Visitation nun in France.  The Salesian tradition has always emphasized the love of God and the significance of speaking to one another “heart to heart.”   So, it was fitting that Christ chose to communicate His love for all humanity to a spiritual daughter of Saint Francis de Sales and Saint Jane de Chantal.  

In many ways, this devotion may have become popular for the same reasons the heart symbol gained prominence among romantics.  The Sacred Heart is a very tangible reminder of the love and mercy God has for His children.  

The Church encourages us to remember the Heart of Jesus throughout the year.   On the first Friday of each month, special prayers, litanies and holy hours are offered as Catholics recall the love of Jesus.  The actual feast of the Sacred Heart is celebrated each year a few weeks after Easter and Pentecost. 

In popular culture, the month of February is filled with heart shapes, love songs and romantic cards and decorations.   As we walk down the aisles of our drugstores and supermarkets, maybe we can walk with Saint Valentine.  As a Christian bishop, he often preached the words of Jesus, “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble of heart, and you will find rest for your souls” (Matthew 11:29).   

My hope is that the Heart of Jesus will inspire us all year round.   Like Saint Margaret Mary, my prayer is that the Kingdom of Christ will be established in our own hearts.  And may we be able to say, along with the disciples walking to Emmaus, “Were not our hearts burning within us when he talked to us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?” (Luke 24:32). 

Reverend Jack Kolodziej, OSFS

Provincial

Wilmington-Philadelphia Province

The Light Continues

The liturgical season of Christmas wrapped up this past Monday with the feast of the Baptism of the Lord.  This feast should remind us of our own baptism.  The light that came into the world at Christmas is the same light that fills our souls when we are brought into the Church.  This light continues to brighten as each of us grow in our communion with God throughout our lives. 

The Gospel proclaimed on Christmas day was the Prologue of Saint John (Jn 1:1-5) where the Evangelist tells us that “the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”

Throughout the weeks of Christmas, I have meditated on this image.  Reflecting on light has been important for me this year since it was a holiday filled with a lot of sadness, death and funerals.   

My Oblate brother and friend, Reverend Joseph Jocco, died on the morning of December 24.   My brother-in-law’s mother (Geri Peek) passed away on December 26.  Colleen Dougherty, the mother of a former student and colleague (Shane Dougherty) lost her battle with cancer on December 31.  On the feast of the Lord’s Baptism, a friend and mentor (Sister Jeanette Lawlor, CSFN) died after a brief illness.  It seemed that from the very first hours of the feast to the very last celebrations of the season, death and darkness were prevailing. 

The challenge this Christmas was to see God in these moments and in these sad situations... even in the clouds, amidst the confusion and among the questions we all have about life, death and our time on Earth.

I know I am not the only one experiencing loss and sorrow during the “most wonderful time of the year.”  Many people experience loneliness, depression and loss during the holidays.  When we are confronted with the shadows and darkness of life, the lights of Christmas can sometimes be a reminder of our emptiness rather than a renewal of our spirit.   

The good news for Christians is that we recognize God is at work in the world - in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, in sunshine and clouds.  In all seasons and circumstances, God is with us, Emmanuel.

At Christmas, God gave us the greatest gift, His Son.  We believe the Savior was born and lived so that we could continue to live.  The modern calypso carol “Mary’s Boychild, Jesus Christ” beautifully announces to us, “Hark, now, hear the angels sing, a new king’s born today... and man will live forevermore because of Christmas Day!”  

Through His Son, God gave us the assurance that as hard as it is, as difficult as it may make life, death will not have the final word.

The Word was made flesh and still dwells among us – in our family and friends, in the love we share and in the spirit of those we have lost. 

So even though the Church concluded the season of the Incarnation this past week (even though the decorations and music have mostly disappeared), the Word will continue, the light will keep shining and Christ will keep being born into our lives – because of Christmas Day!

Reverend Jack Kolodziej, OSFS

Provincial

Wilmington-Philadelphia Province

The Holy Family and My Family

Tomorrow, as our Christmas celebrations continue, the liturgy observes the Feast of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph.  This is a day to remember the special role the Holy Family had in God’s plan for salvation.  It is also a time to reflect on our own family life.  It’s a day on which we can think about how we can strengthen communication between all family members, how to heal family wounds and walk with one another in daily life.

In my office in Wilmington, I have pictures of my family.   I have my parents, sisters, nieces and nephews.   I also have an image of my religious family - St. Francis, St. Jane, Blessed Louis Brisson and our Oblate founders.  There is one picture of a nun who is not a member of the Salesian family or of the Visitation Order.   That photograph is of my great aunt, Sister Rosalette Szamburska, CSFN (a member of the Congregation of the Holy Family of Nazareth).   The Sisters of the Holy Family are called to extend the Kingdom of God’s love by imitating the spirit of Jesus, Mary and Joseph. They do this in many ways, but their primary mission is to care for families.  

The picture of Sr. Rosalette reminds me that I am part of many families.  I have my family of origin and my religious family.   Even though the Oblates have a unique charism, I realize that all religious families learn from one another.  St. Bernard of Clairvoux, a Cisterian monk, often said: “I admire all religious orders.  I belong to one of them by observance but to all of them by charity. We all need one another.  The spiritual good which I do not own and possess, I receive from the others.” The life and prayer of all religious communities lift up the entire church.

I have learned from the Sisters of the Holy Family since I was a child.  Sister Rosalette would visit my home when she was back in Philadelphia and she was a visible witness that women and men could dedicate their lives to serving God and the Church and still be a part of their original family. 

After high school, I attended Holy Family College, was taught by the sisters, and saw first-hand the value they placed on education, family and faith. Today I continue my relationship with many members of the CSFN community. They remind me that our common way of life is a way that we can connect with families and with one another.  

As we celebrate the Christmas season, a season of family and faith, let us take time to focus on our own vocation.   Christianity is all about connections and relationships. Saint Francis de Sales reminds us that we all have a vocation, we are all called to do God’s will and to put the Gospel into practice.  My hope is that we can see in our religious communities, our parishes and our families the ways we can do this each day. By living, loving and learning from one another, we can make Jesus present on the earth again. We can make the world holy.   We can make our family holy.

Final Preparations

Immaculate Conception Church, Wilmington, NC. Photo by Justine Deitz, 2021.

This week many students are wrapping up their semester with projects, papers, and final exams. There are websites and media posts dedicated to helping students successfully “cram” for the final weeks of school.  The internet offers various ways to help a student navigate these stressful final days before Christmas Break.

As a faith community, we are moving into the final week of the Advent season and our preparations for the fullness of the Christmas season.  Like a student in December, we may feel worried, stressed, and overwhelmed that Christmas is almost here.  We may feel that we have not done enough on our Advent journey to prepare our homes and our hearts for the season of the Nativity.   

Perhaps we have not prayed as much as we had hoped. Maybe we did not light our Advent wreath as faithfully as we had wanted or maybe we did not get to Church as frequently as we had desired.  Our inaction may lead us to believe that it is too late to ignite the spirit of the Advent season or we may be tempted to “cram” the final week of Advent with extra prayers, devotions and services to somehow “make-up” for our late start of the Christmas cycle.  This does not always turn out well.  We wind up replacing the stress of shopping and decorating with the stress of praying and spiritually preparing. Either way, we are overwhelmed. 

A core message of the Christian faith is that it is never too late.  At the birth of His Son, God gave the world a second chance.  The Nativity of Our Lord is a new beginning for all of creation.  In his message at the Angelus in early December, Pope Francis reminded us, “Let us remember one thing:  with Jesus, there is always the possibility of beginning again.  It is never too late.  And let us not let this Advent go by like days on the calendar, because this is a moment of grace, a grace for us too, here and now.  There is always the possibility to begin again.  Be courageous.  Jesus is near to us.” 

Since Christmas Day falls on a Sunday this year, the Fourth Week of Advent gives us a full seven days to prepare our homes and our hearts.  Saint Francis de Sales tells us that “God will lead us to perfection one step at a time.”   During these final days of Advent, we are aware of how much we still must do to welcome Christ more completely into our lives.  We are acutely aware of our struggles, our stresses and our lack of perfection.  Let us follow the advice of Saint Francis and take things one day at a time, one step at a time.  

Christmas comes, ready or not.  The celebration of the birth of Jesus comes, no matter the season or state of our hearts, even when we are not always ready to receive him.  The Christmas song “O Little Town of Bethlehem” reminds us that, “No ear may hear his coming, but in this world of sin, where meek souls will receive him, still the dear Christ enters in.”  Christmas comes amid the darkness, the grief and the sins of this life. Christ is born for all of us. Christ is reborn in all of us.  May our preparations, no matter how much or how little, lead us to open our hearts and let the Lord enter into our lives.

Reverend Jack Kolodziej, OSFS

Provincial

Wilmington-Philadelphia Providence

Christmas Moments, Stories & Carols

No other season quite brings as much excitement and anticipation as Christmas does.  No other season seems to be as busy as the Christmas season.  Even though many of us have been shopping, decorating and planning for weeks, once the calendar turns to the last page, the pressure to enjoy “the most wonderful time of the year” is even more intense.  With the arrival of December, the countdown to holiday shopping, decorating, baking and entertaining takes on a new urgency.

Despite the cheerful songs and Hallmark movies, for many people, this season can turn into “the most stressful time of the year.”  The added anxiety and pressure to plan the “perfect holiday” can actually cause us to miss the real meaning and beauty of the season.

Many of us are familiar with the forty-year-old classic film A Christmas Story.  Throughout the movie, Ralphie and his family are so concerned about the trappings and details of Christmas, that the setbacks and struggles they encounter during the days of December almost ruin their celebrations.  It is only on Christmas night, with the children in bed and Mom and Dad finally relaxing in the glow of the tree lights, that they seem to really appreciate the moment. 

Saint Francis de Sales was not thinking of department stores or dogs ruining Christmas dinner when he preached about dealing with the circumstances of life.  However, he certainly understood the challenges of living in the world and dealing with the ups and downs of relationships.  His emphasis on the present moment was something he suggested we follow all year long, in season and out of season, not just during the weeks of December. 

The holiday season is a time when we usually connect with family, friends and neighbors.  This is something many of us cherish and enjoy.  However, it is also a time to be aware of everyone around us – especially the poor, the lonely, the outcast and those that others ignore.  The Scriptures last weekend reminded us to “stay awake.”  If we focus on the here and now, if we are attentive to the needs of our neighbor, we can appreciate and help all of God’s children.  We can recognize the light of Christ in each person and see the amazing opportunities that surround us each day. 

In the novel, A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens, the miserly Ebenezer Scrooge is visited by three spirits on Christmas Eve: the Ghost of Christmas Past, the Ghost of Christmas Present and the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come.  Each spirit helps Scrooge to appreciate life and inspires him to be transformed into a generous and caring man, a true man for all seasons, a man for others.  The story ends with Scrooge declaring: “I will honor Christmas in my heart and try to keep it all the year.  I will live in the past, present and future.  The spirts of all three shall live within me.” 

During these weeks of December, if we look around us and live in the present, we will not only honor Christmas, but we will enjoy it.

Reverend Jack Kolodziej, OSFS

Provincial

Wilmington-Philadelphia Providence

Reflection on Dad

Father Jack Kolodziej, OSFS, with his dad, John, and sisters (left to right) Donna, Maureen and Ellen celebrating John’s 80th.

Milestone birthdays are always special and celebrated with a little extra excitement.  This past Sunday my family pulled out all the stops as we came together for my dad’s 80th birthday.  My dad always told us that Father’s Day and his birthday are his favorite days, so we had a big party to commemorate this important event in his life.

As we smiled, laughed and enjoyed the celebration, I was thinking of the Gospel that was proclaimed throughout the church that morning at Sunday Mass.  Jesus spoke of earthquakes, plagues, wars, injustice, misery and violence – not the type of message that I would choose to kick off a party.

Yet, as I reflected on how the Scriptures spoke to me that day, it was a reminder that in the midst of death and destruction there will always be love and life.  Like anyone who has reached 80 years on this earth, my dad’s own journey has seen many moments of sadness and loss, but there was (and is) lots of joy, love and grace.

Life shows us that there will always be something to love; the world is full of things to love!  A lifetime is not long enough for the loving.  In the Bible, Saint Paul tells us that “where sin increased, grace abounded all the more, so that as sin reigned in death, grace might also reign through righteousness leading to eternal life through Jesus Christ” (Romans 5:20–21).

Father Jack Kolodziej, OSFS, with his dad, John

Our gathering last week was not only a chance to show our appreciation for my dad but an opportunity to celebrate life and love. Saint Francis de Sales summarizes this attitude when he taught us to live in the present moment. I pray that God continues to bless my father with good health, longevity and the grace to live each day well. I pray all our days will be filled with the strong bond of family, faith and love.

Reverend Jack Kolodziej, OSFS

Provincial

Wilmington-Philadelphia Providence

All Saints, All Souls, All Month

When I was in high school, I saw a headline in a Catholic magazine for their November issue celebrating the month of All Souls.  The headline was “All Saints, All Souls, All Month.”  This expression always intrigued me.  I used to think that the commemoration of the saints and souls was just one more holy day, one more event in the Church calendar that could be “checked off” and then put aside as we moved on to the next feast.

As I have gotten older, as I have experienced more life and more death, I realized the power of that simple slogan.  It became a reminder that the celebration of our holy heroes, the memory of our deceased loved ones, and the belief in the “Communion of Saints” is not just something that we commemorate one day a year or only during a certain week.  In Catholic theology and practice, the connection we have with the saints and souls is something that we should remember all the time - every day, every year.

These celebrations are liturgical reminders that Christians are part of a Church that extends beyond time and space.  On All Saints Day we look to the future, remembering those who have gone before us in faith and who are now with the Lord.  We are inspired by the lives of the saints because they have run the race and have received the crown of victory.  We celebrate because we have the sure and certain hope that we, too, can reach this goal.  Saint Francis de Sales tells us that “the lives of the saints are nothing but the Gospel put into practice.”  

On All Souls Day we look to the past, to those who have fallen asleep in the hope of the resurrection.  We pray that our departed brothers and sisters will experience God’s love, mercy, and forgiveness as they transition to a new life in the Lord.  As the mystical Body of Christ, we believe that we can pray for one another all the time.  This is not just an option; it is our duty as Christians.  We need not be the holiest, most devout, most pious believer, nor do we need to be a religious sister or brother, priest, deacon, or bishop to accomplish this duty.

In the fall of 2020 Pope Francis issued an encyclical entitled Fratelli Tutti – Brothers and Sisters All.  The Holy Father called the Church and the world to remember we are all connected as sisters and brothers.  We are in relationship with all of humanity and we are responsible for one another, on Earth as is in heaven.  The celebrations at the beginning of November help us to remember that we are all in this together.  This message of faith and fraternity is something we must recall every day.  

The month of November is a reminder of the relational nature of Christian life, of relationship with those who have gone before us, with those who will follow after, and with the God who is the source of all relationships. 

May we remember this all month, all year.  May we practice this every day. 

Reverend Jack Kolodziej, OSFS

Provincial

Wilmington-Philadelphia Providence

Finding True Healing

Saint Luke

Traditionally, each Oblate community has a designated library in their local residence. In an Oblate library, you will find many different types of literature. However, I would say that the majority of books are works of theology, history, and biographies of famous people.

A few years ago, when we were cleaning out the library of the Father Judge Faculty House, I came across a tattered paperback that was a combination of the three most popular categories I listed above. The book was called Dear and Glorious Physician and was about Saint Luke, the writer of the third Gospel. The title is from an older translation of Colossians 4:14 in which Saint Paul referred to Luke as "the beloved physician."

This historical novel tells the story of a young Greek slave who apprenticed with a man of medicine and science to become a respected physician with a reputation for healing both body and spirit. Luke traveled around the ancient world bringing healing and hope to everyone he came in contact with. Yet his own sufferings and sorrows could not be healed until he discovered the life, death, and restoring power of Jesus of Nazareth and his resurrection.

The author of this study of Saint Luke was Taylor Caldwell, a writer who is best known for her successful 1972 novel Captains and the Kings. Before she found fame and status in the 1970s, Ms. Caldwell found faith and hope. This is what she tried to share through her writings.

At the time it was released, Ms. Caldwell described her work in this way, "The story of Lucanus, Saint Luke, is the story of every man's pilgrimage through despair and life's darkness, through suffering and anguish, through bitterness and sorrow, doubt and cynicism, rebellion and hopelessness, to the feet and the understanding of God. The search for God and the final revelation are the only meaning in life for men."

When I left Father Judge a few years ago, I brought this little book with me. It collected dust on my bookshelf until I finally picked it up this past summer. I found the book to be everything the author expressed. The book gave me an insight into Saint Luke and his own search for healing and redemption. In many ways, the image of Saint Luke that emerged from this novel is the image of the "wounded healer" that the great spiritual writer Henri Nouwen reflected on exactly twenty years after Dear and Glorious Physician was first published.

This past week, the Church celebrated Saint Luke's feast day (October 18). This year, as I remembered a great saint and evangelist, I also recalled his first calling as a wounded healer. A book that is over 60 years old helped me to see God at work in our world today.

The life of Luke and the story of his conversion is an example for all of us. Today we are blessed by the miracle of modern medicine, science, and technology. We can find relief from pain, cures for diseases, and many procedures and medications that will make our bodies strong and our lives more comfortable.

As a doctor, Luke worked all of his life to find ways to help his fellow human beings live a healthy life. It was only when he encountered the Risen Lord that this beloved doctor found the true way to life - eternal life. At the end of his Gospel, Luke recounts how two disciples recognized the Lord on the way to Emmaus. When we walk our own roads in life we will find many roadblocks, struggles, and detours. May our encounter with the Risen Lord help us to overcome these obstacles and to find true healing. May our faith help us to live each day well.

Rev. Jack Kolodziej, OSFS

Provincial

Wilmington-Philadelphia Providence