Grant Ferris is a retired Oblate Brother living in Delray Beach, FL. Originally from Lockport, NY, Grant moved to Florida thirty-one years ago to teach at a Catholic high school in Fort Lauderdale. Due to age and health concerns, Grant has decided to move to the St. Francis de Sales School community in Toledo, OH.
So, I will be flying to Florida to help Grant make the trek from Delray Beach to Toledo. As I've been preparing for this, I'm mindful that this "road trip" will probably be of a different nature than those I made in my more youthful days.
When I was a kid in college, these trips were sometimes "all-nighters," complete with junk food, off-color jokes, raucous laughter, and the radio blaring. Many of them were from Western New York to the Jersey shore, where my young brother Oblates and I stayed at my grandparents' cottage.
After the first year visiting with seven or eight guys, my grandparents took the sensible route and went back to their home in Philly for the weeks we visited in subsequent years. Our nights were too late and the noise too great for their comfort. I think they decided that not knowing what was going on was better than knowing.
The image of this upcoming "road trip" with Grant brings to mind a different picture. Visioning us driving together for a few days reminds me of the movie "Grumpy Old Men." Here we'll be, two old codgers making our way north on I-75, forgetting to turn the turn-signal off, leaving the gas cap off, straddling two lanes of traffic, and forgetting what we were talking about. I can hear one of us quoting Walter Matthau saying to Jack Lemmon in the movie, "Why don't you do the world a favor and take your lower lip and pull it over your head and swallow?" Well, it won't be that bad, but it'll sure be different than those trips to the Jersey shore.
Grant and I have known each other for over 50 years. We have grown old together as Oblates. I can say the same about most other Oblates in my Province, at least those my age and older.
In our years together, the men in my Province have shared many significant moments. There was the transition in the Church and religious life following Vatican II. This transition included years when many of our brother Oblates discerned that, even after years as ordained and perpetually professed Oblates, that they were called to another vocation - married life. There are also the years dealing with the sex scandal that rocked the Church and even our community. These were hard years.
There have been other moments that have been wonderfully graced. The years we worked together on a Pastoral Plan for our Province provided goals, objectives, and more. More importantly, this work brought us together to talk about our lives and our hopes for ourselves and our community. These discussions and time in prayer transformed us into a much more cohesive group of men, appreciating and enjoying one another at a whole new level. There are our annual Assemblies when all who can come together for the sake of our community. Enjoying the fun that occurs as well as the work accomplished.
The consequence of both the challenging and graced moments has made us a community of friends. There is an ease and comfort that is apparent among us when we come together. There is a sense of loss that we've been restricted from doing so for a while during Covid. There is a yearning to return to gatherings where laughter and song mark the moments of each day.
St. Francis de Sales encourages us in the Introduction to the Devout Life, with the words: "This difficult life is only a journey toward the happy life to come. We must not be angry with each other on the way, but march onward as brothers and companions united in meekness (gentleness), peace and love."
Looking back over the years, I am grateful for the life I've had as an Oblate and for my brother Oblates, and I can say the words of Francis are right on the mark.
God be blessed.
Fr. Jack Loughran, OSFS
Provincial
Toledo-Detroit Province
