The pandemic has brought us tough times. It has created a real life–and–death battle for some and mental anguish for all. For many of us, it has threatened our sense of self. We are waiting for the better days ahead. Unfortunately, our battle with the virus will not be the last time we will face events that will test our physical and mental limits. All of us will face circumstances throughout our lives that challenge our well-being. What can we do to help ourselves and others overcome these stressful times in our lives?
Over the past 20 years, whenever I am faced with these traumatic situations, two people come to mind, one who we all know and one whom even I don’t really know.
I’ll start with the person I don’t really know. I was at Fairfield University during 2002 for an event called Collegium (a retreat for faculty at Catholic schools), and I was struggling to make a personal decision which would have a profound effect on my life. It was a beautiful sunny day, and while I was taking a break sitting on the grass in the middle of campus, a Catholic nun just happened across my path. She struck up a conversation with me, and I discussed my dilemma. Her words give me comfort to this day, she said: “God wants you to be happy because God loves you.” Her point was that when deciding on my path, God wanted me to choose a path that would make me happy.
I believe even in the toughest of times God loves you and wants you to be happy. To find our happiness during uncertain times, we need to be proactive. I set aside time every day to find my happiness; typically, exercise leads me to connect with my sense of self.
The second person is St. Francis de Sales. For the past 20 years, he has been telling me to “Be who you are and be that well.” I am Catholic. I’m certainly not a theologian, but I can share with you what that means to me. St. Francis is telling me that I am not perfect and that I don’t even need to try to be perfect; just try to be the best Chris Cocozza I can be. During tough times, that means that I might need to lean on those around me. To be the best me, I need to keep my sense of self. When I struggle to maintain my identity, I speak (not text or email) with my wife, brother, a good friend, etc. and hope that through their kindness and strength they can help me recalibrate. On the flip side, when I feel that positive energy, I reach out to people I know who might be struggling and try to help them. I think if you were to take the same course of action, St. Francis would tell you that you are being your best self.
By Chris Cocozza, C.P.A., J.D., LL.M.
Division Head/Professor of Business
DeSales University
DeSales Weekly: https://oblates.squarespace.com/desales-weekly
DeSales Weekly Editor: Fr. Bill McCandless, OSFS
