No parenting book I ever read included a chapter on how to raise children during a pandemic. In addition to being an assistant professor at DeSales University in the physician assistant program and working clinically as a gastroenterology PA, I am also a mom of three perfectly imperfect children. Most days they are the reason I live and breathe. Other times, I wonder if God entrusted them to me just to see how far he could push my patience. Anyone who has spent a significant amount of time with children knows that between periods of chaos (and trust me, there is plenty of chaos in pandemic parenting) there is wisdom in their innocence.
On one particularly trying day in quarantine, I was trying to coordinate my lecture schedule with the Zoom school calls required of a kindergartener and third grader while meeting the daily demands of a three-year-old. I heard the familiar cry of a child who felt her sibling had wronged her. I entered the room fully prepared to negotiate peace. Instead of deploying my well-honed de-escalation skills, I heard my son quietly say, “It’s okay. I know all of this is hard. Let me help you.”
St. Francis de Sales tells us, “Grace is never wanting. God always gives sufficient grace to whoever is willing to receive it.” What a beautiful gift! That day with my children had me reflecting on what it means to offer someone love and mercy when it is unexpected or perhaps, undeserved – a gift God freely offers us every day. How often we forget to extend this same grace to each other and to ourselves.
During this time, I came across a poem by Morgan Harper Nichols that spoke to my heart. I shared a portion during a recent university faculty meeting, and I share this with you today.
Hold tight to hope, amidst all unanswered questions for even in uncertainty, there is strength to be found, and grace will still abound in what you do not understand.
And even if you have heard the word grace over and over again and you think you already know what it means there is grace for that, too, humbly reminding you of its endlessness, and how much you need it when you are lost in the wilderness.
So do not be disheartened, when the landscape is working against you, and do not think that you have failed when you are not sure you’ll make it through; for this glorious unmerited favor called grace will meet you where you are, giving you peace amidst your restlessness, and safety from alarm.
As we continue in this academic year, one with unique challenges and opportunities, I invite you all to remember the gift of God’s grace to us. I encourage you to offer that same grace to yourself and those around you. In the words of a child, “It’s okay. I know all of this is hard. Let me help you.”
Melissa Gilroy, DC, MSPAS, PA-C
DeSales University Assistant Professor,
Physician Assistant Program
This reflection originally appeared in DeSales Weekly, the e-newsletter of the Oblates of St. Francis de Sales.
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