For years my mom and dad invited all the Oblates in the Toledo area to their house for holiday meals. It was always a giant gathering with many carloads of Oblates coming to my parent’s house. My parents looked forward to it every year, and the memories are still precious to me.
Fr. Joe Newman, OSFS his mom, Andrea Newman, and Fr. Andy Dunne, OSFS (deceased) during an Oblate Family Christmas.
One year, right around Christmas, my mom was counting all the Oblates who were coming to dinner. We had to gather every table, plate, and spoon in the house to accommodate the number. As you can imagine, there was a little bit of stress associated with this large dinner. In one of those stressful moments, I said to my mom, “I know how much this means to you, but I see you are stressed, why do you keep hosting these dinners?” With a tear in her eye, she responded, “Joe, my hope is you will be invited into someone’s home when your dad and I are gone. I want someone to do this for you.” Being a seminarian at the time, I answered back, “Oh mom… don’t worry… people like me.” With all the love of a mother, she smiled and said, “Oh Joe, you will not always be young, and you will not always be charming.”
Fr. Andy Dunne, OSFS (deceased)., Fr. Joe Newman, OSFS, and Bro. Al Durant, OSFS.
I have told this story on countless occasions. I love my mom’s honesty! Her comments revealed her heart. She desired for me to be loved “just because.” Even in times when I was not entirely likable, I would remain lovable. Recently, I have come to understand this more deeply. The most transformational experiences of love in my life occur during the times when I am weak, when I am broken, and when I don’t feel like enough. That is when I have known love “just because.” There is something in us that is lovable, and it cannot be wiped away, covered up, or erased. What could this be?
Blessed Louis Brisson, our founder, reflected this same message to the early Oblates. In our Constitutions he writes, “We must start with this principle of our holy Founder, St. Francis de Sales, namely that there is always in our neighbor something of God, and consequently, something lovable.” Brisson told the Oblates to love their neighbors “just because” God is present in them. God’s presence is enough.
Now, I have to go set the table.
May God be Praised!
Fr. Joe Newman, OSFS
Provincial
Toledo- Detroit Province
