I have often reflected on this quote from The Introduction to the Devout Life by St. Francis de Sales:
“Of a truth, nothing so tends to humble us before the Mercy of God as the multitude of His gifts to us; just as nothing so tends to humble us before His Justice as the multitude of our misdeeds. There is no fear that a perception of what He has given you will puff you up, so long as you keep steadily in mind that whatever is good in you is not of yourself … it is a lively appreciation of the grace given you.”
These words from St. Francis both comfort and challenge me. They comfort me because they remind me that God has gifted me in many ways. How? The gift of life each day. The love of family and friends, both living and deceased. And the gifts that I have to share with others, to name a few. They challenge me to look at my misdeeds and my sins with a lens of gratitude. Why? Because they give me reason to thank God for merciful love that is beyond what I deserve or imagine. Instead of using them to “beat myself up,” so to speak, they become doorways for gratitude and humility. A priest with whom I lived would be asked: “How are you?” His response was: “Better than I deserve.” God’s mercy is “better than I deserve,” and a great gift.
St. Francis de Sales notes that we need not fear that perception of what He has given us will puff us up, so long as we keep steadily in mind that whatever is good in us is not of ourselves. No, it is given to us by God. This awareness helps me to put things into perspective. I would not be able to see a new day if God did not give it to me. Family and friends are also given to me. I might seek people out, but one has to respond with love and care to become a friend. I was born into a family, so it was given to me. I can choose to accept it or reject it, to participate in family life or not, but even the freedom to choose is a gift. I may have talents, but they too, are given to me by God, as is the ability to develop them. And while my sins or character defects or misdeeds are often the result of choices that I make, they are not the last word. When I turn to God and seek pardon and forgiveness, God raises me up with an unconditional love that is a pure gift. Like our African American sisters and brothers say: “God is good. All the time. All the time. God is good.”
I can sharpen my perception by engaging in some simple practices:
Upon waking in the morning, say “Thank you, God, for the gift of this new day.”
When something happens that touches my heart, say, “Thanks, God.”
At day’s end, as part of my examination of conscience, name the events of my day and say “Thank you, Lord, for being with me.”
About once a week, write your own Litany of Thanksgiving:
For the success of that meeting with x, Thank you, Lord.
For so and so whose forgiveness reminded me of your mercy, Thank you, Lord.
For having food to eat and something to drink, Thank you, Lord.
For the talents you have given me, Thank you, Lord.
For… fill in the blank, Thank you, Lord. [I think you get the idea.]
Gratitude isn’t always my first response. I experience times of sadness or wonderment about why something happened, why I made a certain choice, why God allowed a diagnosis, death, or break-up. I need to honor the feelings that go along with those times. Denying them does not do any good. However, when I acknowledge my feelings, I can move through them and find gratitude that I am alive to experience them, to feel them. A friend of mine who is a recovering alcoholic told me, “Well when painful events are part of my life, it is good to remember that I am still alive to feel them. I thank God for the gift of life.”
Thanksgiving and gratitude are not limited to one day or season of the year. We give thanks every time that we celebrate the Eucharist, which comes from the Greek word that means to give thanks. And every day can be an opportunity for giving thanks for both the small things and the larger things in life. For whom or what are you grateful? How do you make each day a time for giving thanks? The Dominican mystic, Meister Eckhart, said, “If the only prayer you said was: ‘Thank you,’ that would be enough.” This reflects the truth of de Sales’ words: “Keep steadily in mind that whatever is good in you is not of yourself … it is a lively appreciation of the grace given you.”
May God be praised.
Fr. Paul Colloton, OSFS, D.Min.
Superior
DeSales Centre Oblate Residence, Childs, MD
