Florence Loughran
This past Tuesday, my family, many friends, and brother Oblates came together in St. Bernard’s Church in Youngstown, NY to celebrate and bid farewell to my mother. My mother, Florence, died on May 25th after a short illness. She was 99 years old, just four months shy of her 100th birthday. Both of my parents were from Philadelphia. They married during WWII at the base where my father was stationed as a pilot instructor in Amarillo, TX. They had eight children and lived most of their married life in Youngstown.
The most common comment about my mother by those who met her and knew her was, “She is such a sweet woman.” One of my siblings said, “The reason so many say that is she made everyone she met feel good about themselves.”
In a family of eight children, there was another side to her that we kids knew in addition to the sweet side. She was a great mom, grandmother, and great-grandmother, which meant she artfully combined the Salesian virtues of gentleness and firmness in raising us. As a little kid, I saw her as the one who put food on the table, washed thousands of diapers, made in an elaborate process, baby formula by the gallons, assured we were clean and cared for, and held to the tasks she expected of us: good behavior, getting along with siblings (no fighting), being respectful especially toward adults, in particular the priests and nuns in our parish, and most importantly learn about our Catholic faith and practice it.
There were times, though, when she was tough, persistent in discipline, and made unwelcome choices for us. But, as we grew older, my siblings and I grew in our admiration of the virtues and values my mother held to and came to see her as that sweet person everyone spoke about. I believe all of her seventy-one descendants fully believe she is now our advocate in heaven, continuing to watch over us and praying that we don’t make the stupid mistakes she protected us from while on this Earth.
The Loughran Family
My mother suffered terribly from arthritis throughout her body. It was heartbreaking to see her struggle to stand and walk, hold a utensil with gnarled, arthritis hands, and wince as she turned and strained her spine filled with this affliction. It is a consolation to her children that this suffering is now over.
The other consolations that have been so supportive in our loss are our care and concern for one another, the support and comfort offered by friends and family, and most importantly, our faith. Thank you, Lord, for the gift of the Resurrection. It is a powerful source of strength and comfort in these days.
For my mother’s memorial card, I found an excellent quote from St. Francis de Sales’s letter to a wife and mother: “Death is certainly a grim thought. But surely the life beyond, which God in His mercy will give us, surely that life is worth it. Whatever happens, we must not cease to trust in God. We are weak, it is true, but God’s mercy is far greater than our weakness. He is merciful to those who want to love Him and have put their trust in Him.”
This thought from St. Francis captures our understanding of the beauty death provides, despite the pain and loss accompanying it. We must embrace this paradox as we face the death of those we love. The moment our loved ones die to this world, they become fully alive – fully alive to the grace of God and the promise of eternal life. As we all mourn the ones we love and have lost, may God fill us with faith in His eternal love and mercy that we see in the death and Resurrection of Christ.
Father Jack Loughran, OSFS
Provincial
Toledo-Detroit Province
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