I get the same question all the time regarding the Sacrament of Reconciliation, “Father, do you remember the sins people confess to you?” I always respond with the same truthful answer, “No, I do not.” This ability to forget is not a supernatural gift; instead, it is a result of something I discovered as a professional sin listener. The truth is that sins are dull and forgettable next to the grace of God. Now, let me be a bit more specific on this point. The presence and work of the Holy Spirit in the sacrament - infinitely interesting! The grace, transformation, conversion, softening of heart, repentance, mercy, and forgiveness present in the sacrament - again - infinitely exciting! But are sins memorable? No.
There is a story I like to tell whenever someone presses me further on the topic of sin in the confessional. I stole this story from Fr. Ken McKenna and his homily at his mother’s funeral. Both of Fr. Ken’s parents suffered from Alzheimer’s disease. Eventually, their memories were lost, and they could not recognize their children or each other. But before his mother died, he remembered visiting them and seeing his parents sitting next to one another, holding hands with a silent smile on their faces. They never sat like that prior to their illnesses. What allowed them to sit like that now? It is as if all the natural wounds that accumulate over decades of marriage were forgotten. The hurtful memories no longer remained. Even if those mutual hurts were forgiven a long time ago, now they were forgotten. They loved one another without barrier.
Fr. Ken finished his homily by posting an insight into God and God’s memory. God’s perfect memory is a memory that perfectly forgets. Next to God’s grace, mercy, and forgiveness, our sins are not memorable. There is great beauty in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. A sacrament that celebrates God’s perfect love, perfect mercy, and perfect memory.
May God be Praised!
Fr. Joe Newman, OSFS
Provincial
Toledo-Detroit Province
