Spiritual Family Tree

I have always been fascinated by history, especially the history of my family.  Learning about my roots and the branches of my family tree always interests me. When I discover someone I never knew existed I get especially excited.

I was recently looking at old census records on ancestry.com and found that my grandfather, Michael Conroy, had a little sister.  My family always led me to believe that my grandfather and his four brothers only had one sister (my Aunt Helen).  When I looked at the records and census materials online, I realized that my grandfather had a little sister, Nora, who died at the age of ten from influenza.

While I don't have any other information about young Nora Conroy, I do know that she is part of my family story and that she is someone who I can now pray for (and to) as I include all of my aunts, uncles and cousins in my daily prayer.

I thought of Nora when I came across the story of Saint Dominic Savio.  Dominic was a young student in Italy who lived a holy life that is still remembered today.  On March 9, 1857, Dominic died from complications due to pneumonia at the age of 14.  He had just started studying with Father (later Saint) John Bosco to become a priest in the Salesian order.

Dominic never became an official novice or seminarian, but he was certainly Salesian as he followed the teachings of Saint Francis de Sales. Throughout his short life, young Dominic was able to teach others by his example.  Dominic showed that holiness can be achieved through the practice of simple, everyday actions in our daily life.  Being friendly, faithful and helping others was the way that Dominic put the spirituality of Francis de Sales into practice as a child and teenager.  

Dominic once said, "I am not capable of doing big things, but I want to do everything, even the smallest things, for the greater glory of God."  Saint John Bosco, Dominic's mentor and guide, later described this young saint as someone who found joy and holiness in doing the ordinary things for love of Jesus.  John Bosco would tell the Salesians that "religion must surround us like the air we breathe.  Dominic Savio wore holiness like the clothes on his back."

As I wrote a few weeks ago, the Oblates have always considered the Salesians of Don Bosco as spiritual "cousins."  Just as I was humbled to find my Aunt Nora in the Conroy family story, it is great to discover that the Oblate family has a young cousin like Dominic Savio in our spiritual family tree.   May the example of Saint Dominic inspire all of us - no matter our age - to do the ordinary in an extraordinary way.  As we live each day guided by Jesus, may we work each day for holiness.  Francis de Sales encouraged us to be close to God with these reassuring words:  "Let God be the air in which your heart breathes at ease."  May Saint Dominic Savio and all of the deceased members of our own families help us to find holiness in the air and in our hearts.

Father Jack Kolodziej, OSFS

Provincial, Wilmington-Philadelphia Province

The Bond of Cousins

Father Jack celebrating the Fouth of July with his cousins ( July 4, 2022).

This week the universal Church celebrated the feast of Saint Francis de Sales.  Next week (January 31), we will remember Saint John Bosco.  He was so influenced by the teachings and philosophy of the Gentleman Saint, that when he founded a religious order, he named it the Society of St. Francis de Sales (popularly known as the “Salesians” of Don Bosco).   

Cousins celebrating Easter in 1972.  Father Jack is the little guy in the suit jacket!

Because we share a common patron and were founded around the same time, the Oblates of St. Francis de Sales and the Salesians are often confused.  While there are some similarities and connections, we each have our own charism and mission. Using a metaphor we are all familiar with, I tell people that our two religious communities are like “spiritual cousins.”  

I grew up in a large Polish and Irish family with lots and lots of cousins.  I still see many of them on a regular basis and I consider them not only family, but friends. Many memes and social media posts remind us of the importance of our extended family.  One image reads, “Cousins are like the stars – you can’t always seem them, but you know they are always there.”  Another quote reminds us that, “cousins are a little bit of childhood that can never be lost.”  But my favorite poem states, “side by side or miles apart, cousins will always be connected by the heart.”

I like this saying most because Salesian Spirituality is all about the heart.   When we invite Jesus into our lives, he begins to live in our hearts and in our actions.  Our devotion to the Lord and our faithful friendship with others help us to put the Gospel into practice.  In all of our relationships, we can connect as sisters, as brothers, as cousins.   We can see in all people a common humanity and dignity that helps us to love God by loving one another.     

The many religious orders that follow the spirit of Saint Francis are all focused on his call to live like Jesus (Vive Jesu).  Like cousins who are related but also unique, each group will emphasize a different aspect of the life, example and teaching of the gentle bishop of Geneva.  Each community will point to a particular virtue or message of our spiritual father. 

All of the followers of Saint Francis – lay, religious and clergy – are connected by the heart.  All of us respond, in our own heart, to the call to holiness.  Each, in our own vocation, try to live the devout life.  Like any family, we are not always successful.  We may argue and struggle and sometimes not get along, but we recognize our common bond.  Saint Francis told us “we have no bond but the bond of love.”  May all of our bonds – those of family and friends – sustain and strengthen us in our journey through life.

Reverend Jack Kolodziej, OSFS

Provincial

Wilmington-Philadelphia Province

Reflection on Dad

Father Jack Kolodziej, OSFS, with his dad, John, and sisters (left to right) Donna, Maureen and Ellen celebrating John’s 80th.

Milestone birthdays are always special and celebrated with a little extra excitement.  This past Sunday my family pulled out all the stops as we came together for my dad’s 80th birthday.  My dad always told us that Father’s Day and his birthday are his favorite days, so we had a big party to commemorate this important event in his life.

As we smiled, laughed and enjoyed the celebration, I was thinking of the Gospel that was proclaimed throughout the church that morning at Sunday Mass.  Jesus spoke of earthquakes, plagues, wars, injustice, misery and violence – not the type of message that I would choose to kick off a party.

Yet, as I reflected on how the Scriptures spoke to me that day, it was a reminder that in the midst of death and destruction there will always be love and life.  Like anyone who has reached 80 years on this earth, my dad’s own journey has seen many moments of sadness and loss, but there was (and is) lots of joy, love and grace.

Life shows us that there will always be something to love; the world is full of things to love!  A lifetime is not long enough for the loving.  In the Bible, Saint Paul tells us that “where sin increased, grace abounded all the more, so that as sin reigned in death, grace might also reign through righteousness leading to eternal life through Jesus Christ” (Romans 5:20–21).

Father Jack Kolodziej, OSFS, with his dad, John

Our gathering last week was not only a chance to show our appreciation for my dad but an opportunity to celebrate life and love. Saint Francis de Sales summarizes this attitude when he taught us to live in the present moment. I pray that God continues to bless my father with good health, longevity and the grace to live each day well. I pray all our days will be filled with the strong bond of family, faith and love.

Reverend Jack Kolodziej, OSFS

Provincial

Wilmington-Philadelphia Providence

We Cherish the Memories

“Salesian Sands,” the Oblate house in Ft. Myers.

My first assignment after ordination was to teach at our high school in Fort Myers, Florida.  Shortly after arriving, our principal and the Oblate pastor across the street went for a drive to look at a small house on Fort Myers Beach.  In order to attract young Oblates to southwest Florida, they wanted a place for the Oblates and their families.  It was a small three-bedroom rancher very close to the beach.  The Provincial agreed to pay for the place with the proviso that we would send $50 per Oblate each month until the mortgage was paid. 

Another Oblate and dear friend, Hugh, and I were the first “caretakers” of the house.  We gradually furnished the house in a modest, yet comfortable way.  On Fridays, we loaded our laundry baskets in the car during the school day.  We were the first off the property to enjoy a weekend at the beach.  Others joined us when available.  The parish priests used the place during the week.  One of the parishes we assisted on the weekends was just around the corner from our residence.  Three doors exited to the pool with its screened lanais.  One was from the laundry room where minutes before exiting the pool on a nightly swim, we would put towels in the dryer for comfort when exiting.  We were living like kings! 

Growing up, I knew no one who had a pool.  Life was good!  Our students knew we had a place on the beach and were determined to locate it but never did.  Personal money was tight but The Munch Box, around the corner, made great hot dogs.  There was time for sleeping on the beach, a dip in the pool, college and pro football, card games, and great camaraderie.  Classes for the week always were prepared as well.  At about 7:00 PM on Sundays, we cleaned the house thoroughly and had dinner at Perkins on the way home (always ham and cheese omelets).  A guest calendar became quickly booked for visiting family, friends, and fellow Oblates.  What started out as a place of respite, relaxation, and renewal for those in the high school and our parish across the street, grew in the 30+ years to include three other Oblate parishes.  It was a gathering place for Oblates.

The ceramic Oblate shield was part of the living room floor in the Oblate house.

After the hurricane, Hugh sent me three short videos taken from what was our front door.  Everything was gone.  You could make out the pool sans lanais.  To the right were the washer and dryer, now outside.  All was outside, as there was no inside.  All three videos ended on the ceramic Oblate shield that was part of the living room floor.  Central was the cross.  Perhaps it symbolized the loss suffered, as we all need to participate in Christ’s suffering.  Perhaps, it symbolized the victory won for us by Christ that gave us this place to enjoy God’s presence, especially in those with whom we recreated. 

This house was built on sand (figuratively) and could not withstand this hurricane.  Many times, the Oblate caretaker went down to close the shutters for an impending storm.  We did this with Ian but mother nature was too powerful.  We never tired of this gift known as Salesian Sands.  We cherish the memories of the laughter and the good food shared with our Oblate family and, by extension, our own families and friends. Those moments and stories (often exaggerated as the years grew) will sustain us and continue to give us grateful hearts. 

But, many lost their only home.  As is always the case, the poor (e.g., the shrimpers who lived on boats) suffered the greatest.  Our prayers go out to all those who lost their possessions, homes, and livelihood.  Above all else, we pray for those who died and for their loved ones who mourn their loss. 

Hurricane Ian is proof of Saint Francis de Sales’ maxim to “Live Today Well.”  Let us live it well in love, sharing, accepting, and forgiving.  Let us live it praying for an end to violence, discord, enmity, and hatred.  We need to hold on to memories of compassion, understanding, and kinship.  Never has the demand been more expedient to “Live Today Well.”

“For all that has been, thanks. For all that will be, yes.” -Dag Hammarskjold

Father John Fisher, OSFS

Pastor

Our Mother of Consolation Parish

Philadelphia, PA