Saint Ignatius Loyola
Think about how many homilies you have heard in the course of your life. How many can you recall? That is not meant as an indictment of homilies. I think preaching has a cumulative effect on forming us, helping us to think with Christ and the Church and to feel and to act with Christ and the people of God (poorly prepared or pre-packaged preaching is another topic). However, I am willing to bet that most of us cannot remember many homilies in detail.
One that I remember verbatim was from a daily mass at my parish growing up. The priest read the gospel and then he said, “I have no idea what that means,” and we continued with the rest of the mass.
The shortness is memorable, and brevity is frequently a plus in public speaking, but I think the plain admission that he did not understand made it memorable and powerful. He did not understand it, but neither did he reject it or suggest that the story needed to be removed from the lectionary. Aren’t there things in the Bible and in the Catholic tradition that seem puzzling, odd, or hard to understand? Without a doubt life also presents us with many events and challenges that are hard to square with our faith.
This homily demonstrated that it is OK not to understand everything. Understandings will unfold, or mysteries may remain to invite a deeper trust in God. Like life, faith is a journey, a pilgrimage.
St. Ignatius of Loyola, whose feast day is July 31st, was very much a person in process, in fact, he referred to himself as “the pilgrim” in his autobiography. His journey began in a very unpromising state. He describes himself as a young adult full of ego, self-centered, self-promoting, and quick to offense. He was a picture of toxic masculinity in the way he treated women, quick-tempered, and ready to resort to violence to prove his “strength” and position.
His pilgrimage toward Christ began during his recovery from a life-threatening injury from battle. During his long recovery, there was no reading material available to him except a biography of Christ and the Lives of the Saints. Despite himself, he was taken by the strength and accomplishment of the saints. Looking at St. Francis of Assisi and St. Dominic in particular, he felt an appeal. He observed over the endless hours in recovery that, when his mind was full of images and thoughts from his typical focus—competition, sexual conquest, wealth, and renown— he was left uneasy, uncentered. He would come to call this feeling desolation. However, when reading and imagining about saints and the Lord, the strength and achievement they demonstrated, he felt a peace - consolation.
You may have heard the story of an incident early in his conversion that illustrates his toxic mindset. He began a literal pilgrimage to the shrine in the mountains near Barcelona, the monastery of the Virgin Mary of Montserrat. Riding a donkey, Ignatius encountered a Moor. In the course of their conversation, he felt the man disrespected the Blessed Mother. At a fork in the road, the man went on his way. Ignatius decided that if the donkey started off in the same direction as the man, he would “defend the faith” by slaying the Moor. If the animal picked the other direction, he would continue toward the shrine.
Thank God he turned from violence and immature ego and immature faith that the incident illustrates. As his story continues, we witness a spiritual pilgrimage that had many twists and turns, that presented puzzles, things odd and hard to understand. Like every other human, this saint lived one day at a time, one moment at a time. He sometimes realized he had no idea what some things meant but he stayed on the journey. He kept returning to Christ, in communion with his saints and the people of God and their long memory of God among us.
We do not know all the answers at this moment, and we will never know all the answers. What we do know is our God who never stops calling us to follow him beyond any smallness, anger, fear, or fragile ego more deeply into the peace that Jesus offers.
“Do everything calmly and peacefully. Do as much as you can as well as you can. Strive to see God in all things without exception, and consent to His will joyously. Do everything for God, uniting yourself to Him in word and deed. Walk very simply with the Cross of the Lord and be at peace with yourself.”
- St. Francis de Sales
Father Mike McCue, OSFS
Camden, NJ
