Valenash and/or Ashentine’s Day?
February 2024 is unique for at least two reasons. First, it is a leap year, so those with a special affinity for February (whatever that’s all about!) have an extra day to enjoy it. Second, in a rare juxtaposition of celebrations, Valentine’s Day and Ash Wednesday fall on the same day.
Talk about fire and ice!
What are we supposed to do on February 14 this year? OK, prime rib for dinner is out, but is ordering a whole Maine lobster a good look while sporting ashes in the form of a cross on one’s forehead? On the other hand, is grilled cheese and tomato soup an adequate means of communicating one’s deep love and appreciation for another? So, what do we choose: Feast, or Famine? Well, according to Drs. Evelyn and James Whitehead, we should actually choose something of both!
In their book A Sense of Sexuality, (Doubleday 1989) the authors state that “fasting, at its finest, is neither solely punishment nor denial. We fast not only to avoid evils; we also fast to recapture and celebrate forgotten goods.” Put another way, “the ‘no’ of fasting is fully fruitful only if we have some deeply valued ‘yes' in our lives to pursue.” Lent is, therefore, not only a season to fast from something; Lent is also a season to fast for something!
Or, perhaps, someone.
From the Whiteheads’ perspective, feasting and fasting both require the same thing: “discipline.” The discipline of feasting invites us to celebrate well and heartily in a measured manner the God-given blessings that we enjoy. The discipline of fasting may challenge us to forego the God-given blessings that perhaps we enjoy to excess and/or the things that inhibit our ability to celebrate our God-given blessings even more fully.
In the opinion of St. Francis de Sales, what distinguishes us from all other living things is our God-given ability to love: truth is, we are born from love, we are born for love and we are born to love. Seen through the prism of Salesian Spirituality, this year’s confluence of Valentine’s Day and Ash Wednesday is actually emblematic not of a conflict, but of a deep, profound truth: they are two sides of the same coin! After all, when it comes to love, there will always be things in life to which we are challenged to say “yes” to strengthen and sustain love; likewise, there will always be other things in life to which we will be challenged to say “no” for the sake of that same love.
So, then, whatever you decide ultimately to order for that special Valentine’s Day dinner on Ash Wednesday – regardless of what you choose to have or choose not to have – do it in the name of the thing that matters most of all.
Love.
Fr. Michael Murray, OSFS
Parochial Vicar
St. John Neumann, Reston, VA
