It’s wedding season! Over the past few weeks, I’ve had the absolute honor of presiding at a handful of weddings. I have two favorite moments in the wedding liturgy primarily because they give witness to the mix of excitement, nervousness, and delight of the groom. They happen during the beginning procession and the exchange of vows.
During the beginning procession, my favorite moment is NOT when the procession begins with the bridal party, it is NOT when I notice the bridesmaids paid attention during the rehearsal and the groomsmen did not, and it is NOT even when the bride appears for the first time. These moments are wonderful and blessed, but here is my favorite - I love the moment when the groom has to take the first step towards his approaching bride. I love this moment because most grooms are too nervous to take that first step even though their beloved approaches. During these moments, I lean over, put my hand on their backs, and say, “Go to her.” Then, the grooms start moving.
My second favorite moment is during the exchange of vows. This one is even more predictable. Most couples choose to repeat the vows after me. During the liturgy, the groom recites his vows first. Prior to the vows, the couple stands before the whole church, takes one another’s hands, and prepares to repeat their vows. I start with the groom, “I, Adam, take you, Veronica, to be my wife.” Whenever I start the vow formula, the groom takes his eyes off his bride and stares at me! This won’t do. I always say to him, in my microphone, “Look at her.” Once again, he is so nervous, that he takes his eyes off his beloved.
I love these moments because I see them paralleled in my life all the time. Because I am nervous, busy, impatient, over-scheduled, distracted, angry, or tired, I forget to look toward my Beloved and take a step toward God. This happens daily, and weddings encourage me because I know I am not alone in this struggle. I take my eyes off the One I love, and the people I love. I stand still instead of taking the first step toward the God who is already moving toward me.
This experience is so common that our spirituality has designed a simple practice for us to look and move toward the Divine. As Oblates, we are taught to move our hearts toward God every 15 minutes. In fact, we have clocks in some of our houses that chime every 15 minutes to help remind us. Every 15 minutes we are to be present to God and allow God to be present to us. A day has not passed where I have been entirely faithful to this practice. However, renewed by a God who is patient with me, I work on this directive daily.
I offer this practice to you if, like me and all the grooms in the world, you occasionally divert your eyes and your feet from your God. Today’s another chance, go towards your Beloved.
May God be Praised!
Fr. Joe Newman, OSFS
Provincial
Toledo- Detroit Province
