“Anxiety is the greatest evil that can befall a soul, except sin. God commands you to pray, but He forbids you to worry.” - Saint Francis de Sales
Who can’t worry? You worry when you see a massive hurricane named Ian barreling down on your home. You worry when you hear Putin say that he’s considering using the most destructive weapon in his arsenal to get his way with Ukraine. Who can’t worry?
But, there are those things we can shrug off our shoulders. Those things that make us disappointed in ourselves, embarrassed, and feeling small. You know, things like dropping your grandmother’s heirloom soup tureen and breaking it into tiny pieces, or forgetting to bring ice to the family reunion when it was your only responsibility. (I’ve never done something like that, but I know other people who have.)
There are a ton of things that create anxiety and diminish us that we regretfully and unintentionally do. Well, get over it. It’s done and nothing can undo it. So, as is said in my home state, New York, FUHGEDDABOUTIT! Saint Francis agrees and wrote, “Have patience with all things - but first with yourself. Never confuse your mistakes with your value as a human being.”
I have found a great remedy for those silly things I’ve done that goes pretty far in getting me off the “shame” hook. I’m not talking about sins I’ve committed, but the things that are accidental and simple mistakes. This is my remedy: you know how children often have imaginary friends? Well, I have an imaginary son. He doesn’t have a name, he’s just - the kid. More often than not, he’s that “darn kid.”
A few years ago I was shopping at the local grocery store and accidentally left a bag of groceries behind at the self-checkout. I got home and, as I was putting things away, realized my mistake. I quickly drove back to the store hoping that someone had turned it in and I could recover the items without paying twice for them.
When I spoke to the woman in charge of that checkout area, she said that she had just come on shift and knew nothing about it, but she would call the woman who just left the position. A few seconds later, as I was standing next to this woman with the microphone in her hand, I heard her say to the entire store, “There’s a gentleman at self-checkout who says his son left a bag of groceries here. Does anyone know anything about it?”
Honestly, I never said my son did the deed, but immediately felt the embarrassment and disappointment in myself lift. What a great idea, blame someone else who will never disagree with me. My groceries were not found, and I had to go through the store picking up and paying once again for what I had just previously bought. But it wasn’t my fault, it was my “darn kid’s” fault.
I’m so grateful for that occurrence. My “darn kid” has lost my keys, made me late for appointments, forgotten names, made me drop a dozen eggs, and more. What a relief! I no longer have to feel bad about my mistakes, my silly mistakes. My “darn kid” is always there to blame. “Darn kid.” Ya gotta love him!
Fr. Jack Loughran, OSFS
Provincial
Toledo-Detroit Province
