CJ Capen: Director of Music at St. John Neumann Parish, Reston, VA
CJ Capen
"Nothing is so strong as gentleness; nothing is so gentle as real strength." - Saint Francis de Sales
Gentleness is not typically a quality we associate with strength, yet here we see Francis de Sales say, “nothing is so strong as gentleness.” How different this is from the ways of the world.
I grew up going to St. John Neumann Catholic Community, a church in Reston, VA, staffed by the Oblates of St. Francis de Sales. I recall thinking as a child that St. John Neumann felt different from other churches I had been to; there was a warmth about it that was hard to describe. The priests were genuine, they were approachable, and they had a certain joy about them. They did not present themselves as “holier than thou,” but more as one of us. My family would tend to describe them to others as “down-to-earth.” St. John Neumann Church felt very alive, the people of the parish loved their church, and they loved their priests.
In my early 20s I read the Introduction to the Devout Life by Saint Francis de Sales. Suddenly the dots connected for me. What I remembered of the priests from the church I grew up in aligned with the teachings of Saint Francis de Sales. De Sales taught that it begins with humility and this true humility leads to gentleness toward our neighbor. St. John Neumann Church was a thriving community, and I’m now certain it had much to do with this Salesian Spirituality.
Francis de Sales said all must be done in love, nothing by force. Oh, and he said this in the face of the Reformation. Francis decided one day that he needed to lead an expedition to convert the 60,000 Calvinists in Switzerland back to Catholicism. Most thought this to be a crazy plan; his diocese nor even his father supported him, and for three long years, Francis had doors slammed in his face with not one person being converted. Amazingly though, after much patience and perseverance, he eventually managed to convert some 40,000 people from Calvinism back to Catholicism. He did not do this by means of large crowds, but through letters, one-on-one conversations, and by playing with the children which led to conversations with their parents. He empowered the laity, for he said all were called to holiness, that it is not just for a select few. It’s an inspiring story, one of patience, gentle strength, and authentic faith. His incredible efforts for the laity made me think: “Do I fully embrace my call to holiness?” Francis says, “Learn to see God in the details of your life, for he is everywhere.”
It might be interesting to note here, after graduate school, I did return to St. John Neumann to serve on staff as Director of Music, which is where I have been for the last 14 years. Where else would I be?! It was in the Salesian Spirituality that I felt at home.
