Loyes Spayd: Daughter of St. Francis de Sales, Retired Religious Educator, Pastoral Minister, and parishioner of Saint John Neumann in Reston, VA
Loyes Spayd
The last parish I worked at before I retired was Our Lady of Good Counsel (OLGC) in Vienna, VA. I had heard of Saint Francis de Sales but really did not know much about him or Salesian Spirituality. I served on the OLGC staff for six years and I became immersed in Salesian Spirituality and loved it. When I retired, I moved to the only other Oblate parish in the state, Saint John Neumann in Reston, VA, and I started formation to become a Daughter of St. Francis de Sales. I continued my studies in Continuing Formation, and formation/training to become a companion to women who also want to join the Daughters.
Thirty years ago, my first spiritual director was an Oblate priest who spoke of the virtues of Saint Francis. I have been a Daughter for seven years and I have gradually learned how to try to live the virtues.
I learned the virtue of humility. I used to think that I could “save the world.” A colleague and mentor informed me that Jesus had already done that. I used to tell publishers of religion textbooks the revisions they needed to make. I would become frustrated with parents who didn’t attend Mass or actively participate in the formation of their children. I, of course, learned that this was God’s work and I was just his agent!
I learned that not only could I not save the world, but I couldn’t even control my own life. Saint Francis taught me to be patient with myself, love, and forgive myself. Salesian Spirituality taught me “to pick myself” up and start again. Tomorrow was a new day that holds hope and peace.
When I ministered to children, families, staff, catechumens, and, of course, my own family, I learned that I needed to live the virtues of kindness, patience, gentleness, and above all love.
When I experienced divorce, parenting three daughters by myself, worrying about finances, changing jobs, and moving, I learned to trust God - the Father who held my hand and walked with me through the strawberry fields of my life. I learned, with the help of the Holy Spirit, how to dismiss anxiety and pray for the gift of peace.
I learned how to “Live Jesus” in the midst of many faith communities, including two Oblate parishes, and the Daughters of St. Francis de Sales. Their love, friendship, and teachings helped me to experience peace in my life.
I pray that all of you reading this article will receive this special gift of God’s peace.
The Peace Prayer
Do not look forward in fear to the changes in life; rather, look at them with full hope that as they arise, God, whose very own you are, will lead you safely through all things. And when you cannot stand it, God will carry you in His arms.
Do not fear what may happen tomorrow. The same understanding Father who cares for you today will care for you tomorrow and every day.
He will either shield you from suffering, or He will give you unfailing strength to bear it. Be at peace, then, and put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginings.
- Saint Francis de Sales
