Maureen Furletti: “My Friend, Jane”
Maureen Furletti
It’s Monday evening. Another chaotic family meal is over. My teenage kids begrudgingly cleaned the dinner dishes and retreated to their rooms. While they pretend to do homework, I know they are connecting with friends, FaceTiming and Snapchatting. I hear the girls giggling. Should I stomp into their rooms and put an end to their conversations? Tell them to drop the phone and pick up the Algebra book? What would my friend Jane do? Also, a mom, would she approve of their online conversations?
St. Jane de Chantel was a wife, mother, friend, and foundress. Even though we live many centuries apart, I call Jane my friend. I think she could relate to the business of my family life. I look to her for guidance, as she models Christian womanhood. I learn a lot from my friend, Jane, especially the importance of putting Christ in the center of relationships.
Jane teaches me that it is through relationships that we “live Jesus.” Jane’s spiritual friendship with St. Francis de Sales beautifully models this Christ-centered relationship. Jane was attentive to the promptings of the Spirit and receptive to Francis’ spiritual direction. From their director-mentee conversations, a more mature and reciprocal relationship grew. Their mutual sharing and letter writing gave voice to Salesian spirituality, and the fruits of their friendship and collaboration were manifest in the religious Order of the Visitation of Holy Mary that together they founded.
Jane, the baroness, the widow, the mom of four kids. Francis, the Bishop of Geneva. An unlikely pair. Yet, God gave them the gift of each other, and with Jesus at the center of their relationship, their friendship produced much fruit.
How can I encourage my children to nurture spiritual friendships? Jane and Francis’ relationship matured through letter writing. Can profoundly spiritual friendships mature through digital communications today? Does social media promote frivolous friendships, or can digital communication create opportunities for deep conversation? As Salesian spirituality reminds me, God is found amid everyday life. As more of our everyday life is lived online, I recognize, then, that God is online. If my children put Christ at the center of their in-person and online conversations, then perhaps they can nurture spiritual friendships. They can “live Jesus” online. I think Jane would approve of their Christ-centered online conversations. Yet, I think, like any mom, she’d push them to do their Algebra homework, too.
