Patrick Agnew, parishioner at St. Cecilia, Fort Myers, FL
Patrick Agnew
“Do not look for crosses. God will provide them.” - St. Francis de Sales
Seeing is part of the spiritual life. Nothing enters the soul except by the senses, and for many of us, seeing is the sense we depend upon most.
I work with seekers in our parish RCIA. When I ask how they made the decision to knock on the parish door and get started, their story often includes seeing a sign from God. At other times, when a seeker is feeling indecisive, I may suggest asking God for a sign. Those who ask open their eyes a little wider, become more attentive and often end up in a deeply personal encounter. Those who seek find themselves found.
Sometimes in the spiritual life, we look for trouble. We scrupulously look for crosses, inventing and imagining them. I did that for a time. Then I read Francis’ quote “Do not look for crosses. God will provide them.” Talk about being released! I just stopped looking.
But I also stopped seeing. I became less attentive to the divine dimension of the little difficulties that God permits to help build us up. The little crosses, if you will. And eventually, I started to complain about this or that - but especially that person. From my rising to my resting, I complained about that person. It was crushing me.
So I complained to my Oblate confessor. He offered “This may be a cross.” I could almost hear St. Francis speaking those words to me.
So what now? I am working my way from complaining to carrying. I know that I am in good company; that there really is only one Cross, that Jesus has already carried it, and that I can only be granted a share in it. I know that St. Simon didn’t complain when he carried his share and that whatever I am given will not be “an inch too long or an ounce too heavy.”
And when I remember to look, I see that everyone else is carrying their share, too.
