Excerpts from Live Jesus! PA Speakers
Paula M. Riley
Mother of Four
I often find myself reflecting on who helps me be a mom. I rely on my own mother’s example daily but also find Salesian Spirituality a powerful parenting tool.
Saint Francis tells us to “Be who we are and be that well.” It is so important to let our children be the person God has called them to be. This can be a challenge for me! I find myself saddling my kids with assumptions and expectations. Accepting them as they are can be tough sometimes.
Our patron offers us parenting guidance. Francis encourages us to live lives based on little virtues - patience, gentleness and humility. As a mother to three teenage boys and a 20-year-old daughter I try to live these virtues but the older my kids get, the harder it is! Their lives are more complicated and choices have deeper consequences. We argue about their weekend plans, what’s appropriate behavior with girlfriends, alcohol use, and why every moment doesn’t need to be documented on TikTok.
In these conflicts, I seek guidance from Francis as I draw upon the Salesian call to try to live a life of gentleness. When my kids test my greatest limit, when I want to scream at them, and when they do exactly what I told them not to, I try to remember Francis’ words: “When you encounter difficulties and contradictions, do not try to break them, but bend them with gentleness and time.”
“Bending but not breaking” is such a wonderful image for parenting. Being an engaged parent is a precarious role and bending gently can require great patience. Francis tells us it’s easier to be patient with those whom we do not greatly esteem, because we do not expect great charity from them. But in family relationships, the familiarity makes this call harder. In these exchanges, we must demonstrate the most amount of patience.
Patience. Humility. Gentleness. Francis’ reminders help me be a better mom. As does his popular maxim to be you are and be that well. His words help me enjoy, celebrate, and treasure the opportunity to change a messy diaper, sit through a painful piano recital, comfort a child after a loss, make dinner for six, or stand at the sidelines on a cold, blustery day.
Each moment I am mother to these children I am engaging in a holy act. That is what I have learned from Francis. He tells us that when we perform simple, ordinary acts in an extraordinary way, we are living Jesus.
There is true beauty and grace in the mundane tasks of caring for children and running a household. Whatever we are doing, when we use the gifts we’ve so generously been given, we are being holy.
Tonight, I will set the table for dinner, help my son study for his AP exam and discuss ‘summer rules’ with my college sophomore. In so doing, I will be engaging in holy and meaningful acts. I will be parenting the Salesian way.
Read the full take here
Contact Paula here
Ellen Hildenbrand
Chair of Religious Studies Department, Salesianum School
Four years ago I came to Salesianum School in Delaware with an extensive background in Theology and education but, to be honest, relatively little acquaintance with Saint Francis de Sales. This was the beginning of a beautiful friendship for me.
So what did my eager study of Francis de Sales bring to me? In all honesty, my research yielded little in comparison with what immersion in the Salesianum School brotherhood gave to me.
Each and every day, each and every member of the Sallies community is challenged to live Jesus through humility, patience and tenacity. Gentle reminders are present in every class and every activity, walking through the halls, surrounded by reminders of the Salesian virtues we seek to practice, one can hear the students calling each other to behavior befitting a Salesian gentleman.
From my earliest days at Salesianum, I was captivated by the obvious commitment to the virtues of Saint Francis de Sales that I saw, literally, everywhere. The students seemed to genuinely take pride in their formation and it mirrored the commitment of the Oblates and the faculty at large. The Direction of Intention was clearly held dear and the motto of Tennui Nec Dimittam was an obvious source of empowerment for all.
And let’s not forget: “Be who you are and be that well!” Could there be a better quote to drive the work of education? As we all know, in Catholic education, that means we are fostering in the students the realization that they are made in the image and likeness of God and are, therefore, born to be holy. And, as you may know, Saint Francis de Sales proclaimed that knowledge is the 8th sacrament of the Church.
I am grateful for my role in helping to guide students along their Salesian path. As I live out my vocation as a Catholic school religion teacher and in a way, a mother to all students at Salesianum, the example and teachings of Saint Francis de Sales have added a beautiful, gentle perspective to my work. Especially, as also in motherhood, his teaching help me to meet the challenges with intention (what many today are calling mindfulness) and tenacity. These teachings help me to be the best role model I can be and to help students relate to and practice the teachings of Saint Francis.
I believe I have tried to live Jesus all my life, but singing about “Jesus whom I love” with the Oblates and experiencing daily reminders over the announcements in the students’ voices keep me focused on the all-important awareness of the presence of God at every moment and the promises I have made.
When we pray: “I give you my soul, my heart, my understanding and my will” each day at Salesianum, I recommit myself to the truest, most enduring vocation I have ever known – the vocation to try, every day and in every situation to be my best self in order to give glory to God.
So, I resolve, every day and in every situation, to recognize my dependence on God’s Grace, to offer any good I do to God, and accept, with patience and tenacity, any difficulties or frustrations that come. And, my heart is full of gratitude.
This is my expression of Salesian Spirituality. Thank you and God bless you all. Live Jesus.
Read the full talk here.
Contact Ellen here
