Perfection

When I was a junior at North Catholic High School (Philadelphia, PA), I remember our Christian Morality teacher began the course by quoting the Scripture passage many of us heard last weekend, “Be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Matthew 5:48).  As a 16-year-old average student, this teaching seemed out of reach; it seemed impossible.  I kept asking myself, “How can anyone be perfect?”  I believed that perfection meant being better than others, being without any problems, going through life minus struggles and sins.  With that definition in my mind, I reasoned that only Jesus and the saints were perfect.  Perhaps Jesus did not mean for his followers to take this so literally. 

Today, I think I have a better understanding of this teaching.  Jesus really did mean what he said.  He does not want us to be “average” or “pretty good.”  He wants perfection!  While this is still a challenge, I am able to see that it is possible for all of us.  I think we have to separate the call of Jesus to be our best and the psychological pressure to be flawless.  The latter idea can lead to stress, burnout or guilt.  

The message of Jesus is a call to be perfect, to become perfected and to grow in holiness.  This is the Christian call to become saints.  This is the vocation we were all given at baptism. This is the challenge to transform ourselves into what God has called us to be.  Saint Francis de Sales tells us again and again to “be who you are and be that well.”  If we try our best to be our best, we can transform ourselves and the entire world into the Kingdom of God. 

For de Sales, perfection is about striving to live each and every moment in the Grace of God.  Tomorrow is not yet here and yesterday is gone forever.  All we have is the present moment.  It is in this moment that we are called to live perfectly.  And if we can do this in the present moment, what is keeping us from doing it in the next moment?  Over time, these moments of perfection will get easier and our call to holiness will grow stronger.  Francis encourages us when he wrote, “God will lead us to perfection one step at a time.”

Yesterday, the Church began the season of Lent.  We all know this a penitential period of preparation for Easter.  It is also a time for Christians to prepare for the Kingdom – a time to prepare for perfection. Perhaps this is a moment to pursue holiness.  Perhaps we can make this Lent an opportunity to become a saint!

Father Jack Kolodziej, OSFS

Provincial

Wilmington-Philadelphia Province

A Salesian Spirituality of Imperfection

As human beings we are more alike than we are different.  One characteristic we all share is that each of us, at some point in our lives, has made a mistake and, despite our good will and intentions, will probably continue to make them.

Saint Francis de Sales was aware of this.  In fact, he said that the spiritual life itself is comprised largely of mistakes because it is in our mistakes that we realize our own humanity, our own limits, and our need for God.  He writes, “We must never be astonished at finding ourselves imperfect…because there is no cure for it.”  Saint Francis asks us to acknowledge something we’d often rather avoid; namely, that as humans we are not, and will not be, perfect.  Instead, we must ask ourselves how we respond to our mistakes. 

Do we:

• Take the time to learn from them or dismiss them?

• Take responsibility when it is our fault or blame others?

• Do we work to correct it or resort to self-pity?

• Are we honest and accountable or do we play the victim?

Finally, Saint Francis also reminds us that after every mistake there is one thing we must do: pick ourselves up and continue moving forward as Jesus did when carrying the cross to Calvary.  During that walk Jesus was physically battered, emotionally drained, and going through physical upheaval.  Yet, after each fall, Jesus picked Himself up and continued going forward and persevered until He reached His destination.  How did He do it?  First, Jesus was supported through His prayer, His constant communication with the Father who loved Him and was with Him during His suffering.  Second, Jesus was supported by His friends who met Him on the way like His mother Mary, Mary Magdalene and the Beloved Disciple, John. 

Sometimes we can feel this way too: like we are carrying the weight of the world as we go through our days.  And the tools that Jesus used, prayer and friendship, we ought to use too.  By prayer we share our most intimate needs, desires, hopes, dreams and fears with God.  We ask God to be with us on the way.  And in friendship, we become closer to the people who will walk with us during our successes and our mistakes. 

When it comes to rising from our mistakes, let’s: 

• Recognize our mistakes (our imperfections)

• Take responsibility for their consequences

• Pray & patiently try to change ourselves to avoid making them

• Tell others what we are doing

• Persevere in making the needed adjustments as we try and try again

As Saint Francis advises, “Perfection consists in fighting against our imperfections…In this enterprise, we must have courage and patience…in this…we are always victorious provided we are willing to fight.”  In other words, we fail only when we fall and decide to remain down.  We are perfect when we fall and then rise again, trusting in God’s love and mercy, and determined to change and do better.

May God be praised!

Father Michael Newman, OSFS

Pastor

Holy Family Parish, Adrian, MI

Advent Love

When thinking about joy, I distinguish it from happiness.  Here, too, I want to distinguish love from like.   Because of my own human frailty and temperament, there are some people who I struggle to like.  The situation usually has more to do with me than the other person.  A dear friend once told me that if I like someone, that person can do anything, and it would be fine with me.  But, if I dislike someone, the smallest thing she/he did that I find unacceptable would be catastrophic.  I want to believe that I have improved upon this significantly.  It has often been said that we don’t have to like everyone, but we are called to love everyone.  I think this has something to do with the fact that “love is of God.”

In his remarkable 10-DVD series Catholicism, Robert Barron defines love as “willing the good of the other as other.”  That is wanting what is best for another simple because they are other and not for what it could do for me.  The “good” that I will for him would be to know God more fully, so that his heart would change and the violence cease.  Whether we can see the image and likeness of God in others does not take away this presence within another.  Perhaps our love for another can make this clearer, more recognizable.

We must love because it has been mandated by Jesus.  Further, he takes this love to the highest level, “Love one another as I have loved you.”  This is a love that is total, complete, infinite, without merit, always on display, non-judgmental and a free gift.   We get a clear glimpse of this in spousal love, in parental love, and in the love shared between the best of friends.  Perhaps the best manifestation of this love is in prayer where we sit in total acceptance of the One who smiles on us, seeing us as so deserving of God’s infinite love even when this utterly amazes us.   Richard Rohr wrote, “Most of us were taught that God would love us if and when we change.  In fact, God loves you so that you can change.  What empowers change, what makes you desirous of change is the experience of love.  It is that inherent experience of love that becomes the engine of change.”  We must love because love is of God.  To love as God loves is indeed a very tall order.  We need great patience in this task for we are of God but not God.  So, our love is a process and somewhat imperfect.  Thus, Saint Francis de Sales often reminded people that perfection consists not in being perfect but in trying to be perfect.  It’s all in the trying.  What makes this doable speaks to Rohr’s point by letting God love us first.   For de Sales, this was a no-brainer, especially recognizing his favorite scripture was the Song of Songs, one great love song where the lover woos the beloved.  God takes the initiative because God wants to be with us, embracing us, holding and kissing us, the beloved.  We read in scripture, “See what love the Father has bestowed on us that we may be called the children of God.  Yet so we are.  The reason the world does not recognize us is that it did not know Him.  Beloved, we are God’s children now; what we shall be has not yet been revealed.  We do know that when it is revealed we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is” (1 John 3: 1-2).

Advent love reminds us of this promise yearly that we may fortify our efforts to love others as Christ has loved us.  It enables us to be loved fully and completely, warts and all.  It grounds us in a place of humility before God, so that in Salesian thought, we may be gentle toward others.  We are loved infinitely, so that we may, in turn, wish this for all others.  To love another is to will the good of the other as other.  “To love another person is to see the face of God,” as proclaimed in the epilogue of Les Misérables.

Advent love is a beautiful baby, born homeless in a manger, who shepherds and kings traveled to worship in awe but selected a different way home.  So too, our lives must change direction once we have met the Savior, the Prince of Peace, the author and sustainer of love.  It’s now a life of love.

Father John Fisher, OSFS

Pastor

Our Mother of Consolation Parish

Philadelphia, PA