Provincial’s Reflection: Who Do Men Say The Son Of Man Is?

I would like to continue my reflections on St. Peter as the model of Christian discipleship. One of the highpoints in the ministry of Jesus in the profession of faith that Peter makes when Jesus asks his disciples this question: “Who do men say that the Son of Man is?” (Matthew 16:13-20).

The others hem and haw, suggesting that people are saying that Jesus is John the Baptist or one of the prophets come back to life. Jesus quickly cuts through all that with a sharply pointed and very personal question directed at each of them: “But who do you say that I am?” Jesus wants to know what those closest to him think of him. So much depends on getting his personal identity right. That will enable them to hear his good news in such a way that it changes their lives completely and, ultimately, totally transforms their world.

This is Peter’s moment. He blurts out: “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God!”

This moment is still early in the ministry of Jesus. Even his closest disciples are not quite sure what to make of him at this point.

Only one is.

Peter.

And we know how Peter’s response deeply pleases Jesus: “Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jonah! For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my Father who is in heaven.”

From that moment on, Jesus gives Peter a nickname: “Rock,” promising to build his Church precisely and only on that Rock.

Peter was able to see in the carpenter from Nazareth the long-awaited Messiah, the Christ. The Father’s grace had touched that simple fisherman’s heart so deeply that it enabled him to see, against all odds, the face of the Living God on the face of Jesus, a carpenter from Nazareth.

It is Peter’s personal and life-changing faith in the person, identity, and mission of Jesus that completely transforms his life and, ultimately, the life of the world.

In one brief moment, on a tiny and dusty road on planet earth, the world was completely turned around and began heading in a brand-new direction.

Peter’s faith in Jesus was his alone, personal, genuine, and forever. Our faith in Jesus builds on that Rock, but like Peter’s, it too must be personal, genuine and forever. Such faith delights the heart of Jesus. And such faith saves.

God be Praised!

V. Rev. Lewis S. Fiorelli, OSFS

Provincial

This reflection originally appeared in DeSales Weekly, the e-newsletter of the Oblates of St. Francis de Sales. 

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Father Bill McCandless, OSFS
Oblate Development
wmccandless@oblates.org
Office: 302-656-8529 ext.20

Salesian Hospitality: “But No Elephants.”

At the direction of the Middle States Reaccreditation Committee and the recommendation of the University’s Mission Committee, DeSales University has adopted five core Salesian values: gentleness, humility, gratitude, hospitality, and wisdom.

Hospitality might at first sound like an odd choice for a value in the age of Covid-19. We are self-quarantining and socially distancing, how can we possibly be hospitable now?

When I was a young child, I loved the book But No Elephants by Jerry Smath. Throughout the story Grandma Tildy gets visited by a pet salesman. She agrees to house all kinds of pets—from canaries to turtles to rare birds. However, each time she declares, “But no elephants.”

Even as a child, Grandma Tildy’s last refrain always bothered me. I had questions. Why no elephants? Was it the sheer size of an elephant that made it problematic as a pet? Was Grandma Tildy allergic to elephants? Did she object to keeping wild animals as house pets? Was it the pachyderm’s smell? The book never explains her rationale, but predictably in the end Grandma Tildy ends up with the elephant in her house.

You may be able to guess where the story goes from here. With a healthy dose of fantasy and a child-like optimism, the narrator lets us know that despite Grandma Tildy’s trepidations, everything works out in the end. In fact, it more than works out, the elephant’s presence in the house becomes a blessing. The elephant can reach things that are too high and use its strength to help with chores. And when a blizzard comes and all looks lost, the elephant saves the day by simply walking with the house on its back to a warmer climate.

This tale delighted me as child. Now as an adult facing challenging times, I find myself coming back to its message of hospitality. When we say no and close our doors on others, we are also closing off the possibilities that they bring with them. We may not know when or how their special contributions will be needed, but if we close the door, we may never get the chance to find out.

Today, I believe that hospitality is something we as humanity need more than ever. By opening ourselves to the contributions of others, whether physically or virtually, we embrace the possible, and in doing so we are allowing ourselves to see the good in each other. True hospitality is welcoming all, even the elephants.

Katrin L. Blamey, Ph.D.

Associate Professor of Education,

Chair of the Education Department

Director of Graduate Programs in Education

This reflection originally appeared in DeSales Weekly, the e-newsletter of the Oblates of St. Francis de Sales.

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Salesian Reflection on the Body: An Enshrinement of our Total Humanness

Right about now, many of us are finding great difficulty dealing with this pandemic. St. Francis de Sales was no Dr. Fauci, but he does have some health “medications” for us. One insight is from the Treatise on the Love of God.

“Charity places an obligation on us to love our bodies properly since they are necessary for good works. Indeed, a Christian must love and will share in our eternal happiness. Incarnate Savior, as having issued with Him from the same stock and consequently belonging to in parentage and blood. Above all, this holds after we have renewed that bond of kinship by the reception of the divine body of our Redeemer in the Eucharist and after we have dedicated and consecrated ourselves to His goodness by Baptism, Confirmation, and other sacraments” (Tr. Bk III, CH 8).

In one short paragraph, he gives us a very positive theology of the body. The body is the enshrinement of our total human-ness – our physical, mental, and spiritual selves. It is also something we share with Jesus. By his Incarnation, Jesus took on our humanity, and, as St. Paul tells us, we are children of God, our Father, his sons and daughters. Thus, we are Jesus’s brothers and sisters by that adoption. This kinship we have with Jesus is strengthened by our reception of the Eucharist. And, like Jesus, we will take our human bodies, magnificently transformed like that of Jesus with us to heaven. And, since this body has been the means by which we perform good works here on this earth, it should also share in those rewards in heaven!

He also leaves us with some practical spiritual or ascetical insights about our bodies, especially when we are dealing with sickness or illness. What can we do in the midst of this sickness and suffering? He asks us to do what Jesus himself did – offer it up to his Father. In the Introduction to the Devout Life, he writes:

“When you are sick, offer to our Lord all your aches, pains, and weakness, and ask Him to join them to the sufferings He endured for us. Obey your doctor, take your medicine, food, and other remedies for the love of God remembering the gall He drank for you. Do not refuse any suffering so that you might obey Him, yet desire to get well so as to be able to serve Him. If it should be God’s Will, prepare yourself for death so that you might praise Him and be happy with Him forever.

Remember that while bees are making honey, they live and feed on bitter food. Likewise, we can never perform acts of greater gentleness and patience, or create the honey of excellent virtues, better than when we eat the bread of bitterness and live amid afflictions. Just as the best honey is gathered from the blossom of thyme, a small but bitter herb, so also virtue practiced in the bitterness of the lowest and abject humiliations is the most excellent of all.” (Intro. III, 3).

I think my grandmother read and knew St. Francis de Sales quite well. When we were sick or in pain, she skipped the part about the honey and the bees and simply said “Offer it up!” I bet your grandmothers or mothers told you the same thing!

Fr. Neil Kilty, OSFS

Annecy Hall

Childs, Maryland

This reflection originally appeared in DeSales Weekly, the e-newsletter of the Oblates of St. Francis de Sales.

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Father Bill McCandless, OSFS

Oblate Development

wmccandless@oblates.org

Office: 302-656-8529 ext.20

Being Unique in the Salesian Tradition: “Be who you are and be that well as a witness to the master craftsman who created you.”

St. Francis de Sales wants everyone to understand that he or she is a unique individual. There is no one else like you on this planet. It is as if God broke the mold that resembles you, making it clear that there never was and never again will there be another you. You stand alone as a gift to this world and a person of invaluable worth.

Since we, as individuals, are so distinct, we must assume responsibility by taking our lives into our own hands and handling it with extreme care. When we take the time to cultivate our gifts and uniqueness, we become who God wants us to become.

Our uniqueness flows outwardly from our gifts and talents that help build our self- worth and our self-confidence. While inwardly we become who we are when we realize we are charged with gifts and talents and the splendor of God’s image and likeness.

Our gifts and talents help each person to sing the song that no one else will sing and help everyone dance the dance that no one else will dance. It is here that each of us will be “a witness to the master craftsman who created us.”

Hildegard of Bingen, a saintly mystic, expands De Sales words by adding: “Become who you are, by becoming all that you are. We understand so little of what goes on around us because we don’t use what is within us.” She is writing of grace, the Holy Spirit’s promptings, and God’s nearness.

Hildegard asks that we reflect God’s image and likeness every day, especially through our actions and words. She uses the example of plants receiving the sun’s light and warmth and transforming them into energy and life. In the same way, the divine presence, as creator, connects with us, the created.

When the outward you and inward you connect in this way, Jesus is present in our world and shines through us everywhere we go. And God, our creator is delighted with us, because Jesus his son is seen walking again on this earth.

Alone, we are who we are, but joined with our creator our person takes on that luster of holiness capable of miracles – transforming our small acts into great acts of praise to our God.

God’s image and likeness together with our identity, our gifts and talents, our joys and sorrows are reflected as one.

God be Praised!

Fr. Richard DeLillio, OSFS

This reflection originally appeared in DeSales Weekly, the e-newsletter of the Oblates of St. Francis de Sales.

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For comments or suggestions about DeSales Weekly, contact the editor, Fr. Bill McCandless, OSFS

Father Bill McCandless, OSFS

Oblate Development

wmccandless@oblates.org

Office: 302-656-8529 ext.20

Salesian Reflection on Daily Prayer

An essential element in our daily prayer life is the awareness of God’s presence with us. In the Salesian tradition, “from the rising of the sun to the setting,” we can bring our day into God’s presence through the natural rhythm of the day.

Rising—St. Francis de Sales is deeply convinced that all people are called not only to salvation but to sanctity as well. This means that for him, the means to holiness must be readily at hand. The act of rising and dressing, a very natural and everyday happening, can be a religious experience. He takes what we do anyway--rise and dress --and shows how these actions can be transformed to orient both our waking and our day to God.

Preparation of the Day—Francis de Sales wrote, “Before everything else I will always make the exercise of preparation, and I will do it at least once a day, in the morning.” The first part of this exercise is the invocation. Since I know that during the course of the day I am exposed to a great many distractions, I will invoke the Holy Spirit to be with me. The second part consists in using the imagination to foresee what can happen during the day. I will anticipate wisely and prudently what challenges I may face today that may overwhelm me. Pay attention to “hot spots” that may distract me. The third part is my plan of action or strategy. I will anticipate and consider what I must do, the order and the manner these tasks should be undertaken. The final part consists of a resolution to do my best during the present day.

Direction of Intention - At the beginning of all our actions, both exterior and interior, we ask for God’s help by a short prayer that offers a specific action to God, and accepts, willingly, whatever difficulty we might experience. “My God, I give you this action and all the good that I will do. I promise to accept, for love of you, all the difficulty that I will meet. Help me to conduct myself in a manner most pleasing to you.”

Examination of Conscience - We should examine our conscience twice daily, at midday and in the evening. At midday we need only to consider briefly how we have conducted ourselves during the morning. If any fault is found, we should make an act of contrition with a firm purpose of amendment. In the evening we need to thank our Lord for all his benefits, especially for his passion, the grace of our vocation and for having willed to preserve us during the day, providing for all our needs through his goodness. It has been said that an un-reflected life is not worth living. This is doubly so for the person who wishes to be rooted in Christ, to Live Jesus. If we want to become holy, we need to be in touch not only with our actions, especially with what motivates those actions.

Retiring - Before bed we ought to remember that our Lord and some saints used to sleep on the cold ground, and how much we are obliged to love and serve him, since his gentle goodness provides for our slightest comforts in such a fatherly way. Lying there, we should picture to ourselves that one day we will be like this in the grave and ask God to assist us at the hour of death. We should try to fall asleep with some good thought.

St. Jane de Chantal’s advice succinctly summarizes the best approach to all prayer: “Draw near to God with the greatest simplicity you can and be certain that the simplest prayer is the best.”

By Fr. Ed Ogden, OSFS

Parochial Vicar St. Thomas the Apostle, Glenn Mills, PA

eogden@oblates.org

This reflection originally appeared in DeSales Weekly, the e-newsletter of the Oblates of St. Francis de Sales.

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Father Bill McCandless, OSFS

Oblate Development

wmccandless@oblates.org

Office: 302-656-8529 ext.20

Salesian Gratitude – The Beginning of Humility

Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others. ~ Cicero

Cicero’s words highlight the importance of gratitude in the spiritual life. St. Francis de Sales says that gratitude is the beginning of humility (one of his favorite virtues) because it recognizes that all we have and are gifts from a loving and generous God. Even though gratitude is essential to a fully lived Christian life, our tradition tells us that love is the greatest of all the virtues and the parent to all the others.

Gratitude helps us to count our blessings and to give proper thanks to our good and gracious God. Generosity helps us to live out the words of C.S. Lewis, “Humility does not ask us to think less of ourselves but to think of ourselves less.”

Even during a pandemic, we have the opportunity to practice the two great virtues of gratitude and humility. Most of us have had the experience of being tired, feeling blue or numb, frustrated, or simply wanting this virus to stop exercising so much control over our daily lives. These certainly seem to be understandable reactions to a virus that has affected us for almost six months. There is no vaccine yet. But, let us try to be more grateful and more generous in our attitudes, words, and dealings with others as a spiritual antidote to the effects of the Coronavirus.

Have a grateful, generous day! Live Jesus!

Fr. Matt Hillyard, OSFS

Pastor, Our Lady of Good Counsel, 

frhillyard@olgcva.org

This reflection originally appeared in DeSales Weekly, the e-newsletter of the Oblates of St. Francis de Sales.  To received DeSales Weekly, click Subscribe Here.

To see previous DeSales Weekly’s, click here.

For comments or suggestions about DeSales Weekly, contact the editor, Fr. Bill McCandless, OSFS

Father Bill McCandless, OSFS

Oblate Development
wmccandless@oblates.org
Office: 302-656-8529 ext.20

An Oblate Experience of the Transfiguration

Once, while giving a retreat to the Oblate missionaries in South Africa, I saw a true transfiguration. It wasn’t on Mt. Tabor and it didn’t involve Moses and  Elijah. But it did include Jesus and ordinary people and I remember to this day.

Offering to help the Oblate pastor of a large territorial mission, we  drove together over hills and dry, dusty roads to a tiny outpost village.  Bringing  Eucharist to the homebound first, we then were scheduled to celebrate liturgy for their weekly celebration.

Entering the village of narrow dirt streets, we noticed tiny two room houses standing in an orderly fashion side by side.  As I mounted the steps to enter a  house, I spotted a small hibachi near the front door which looked frequently used. I knocked on the door which opened immediately.

Stepping inside, I was met with eight to ten young people from ages eight to twenty-three. They were dressed in their Sunday best: women in colorful dresses, and men in jackets and ties.  Everyone  was extremely cordial and welcoming.  They were there to greet the priest, who was carrying Jesus to their grandparents.

With accented English, they conversed well enough to be understood. They were the grandchildren of the couple waiting in their  bedroom. The grandparents were ninety years old  and celebrating seventy-years of marriage.

The men and women explained how overjoyed the grandparents were to receive eucharist from a person far away. This was the highlight of their anniversary, that Jesus is coming to them from America. It made them feel even more blessed by God who had already bestowed so many blessings throughout their seventy years of marriage.

After a few minutes of welcome, the relatives pulled back the curtain and beckoned me to enter.  Alone in the bedroom, I noted two pallet sized beds with a frail infirmed man in one and a weak fragile woman in the other.

As I entered, the two reached across their pallets to clasp hands.  Never taking their eyes off the Eucharist in my hands, they began to whisper familiar prayers never loosening their gaze from my hands.

When I started to say the preparatory prayers, they became visually moved as if anticipating the coming of Jesus. They both smiled when I walked towards them with the Eucharist. When they each received, they fell back against their thin pillows, closing their eyes seeming to disappear into the dim lighting.

They now had what they had waited for, and I had successfully completed my task.  The power of grace in that tiny bedroom seemed to enlarge its dimensions to a king-size room with royalty submerged in those beds.

Their contentment and peace swirled around the faces of these elated grandparents and glided  me through the door into the delightful, smiling, waiting relatives. I was moved by what was happening. I knew this had nothing to do with me but was wrapped in the holiness of this couple lost with Jesus in the Eucharist, and their hungry desire for Him.  Jesus knew from the first moment he entered the house, he was with friends and I was delighted to be with them as part of this celebration. 

This was a true example of how holy ground transpires when two or three are gathered in Jesus’ name. There he is in their midst. Only this day we all saw and felt His presence.

God be Praised!

Fr. Richard DeLillio, OSFS

This reflection originally appeared in DeSales Weekly, the e-newsletter of the Oblates of St. Francis de Sales.  To received DeSales Weekly, click Subscribe Here.

To see previous DeSales Weekly’s, click here.

For comments or suggestions about DeSales Weekly, contact the editor, Fr. Bill McCandless, OSFS

Father Bill McCandless, OSFS
Oblate Development
wmccandless@oblates.org
Office: 302-656-8529 ext.20

Salesian Hospitality: The High Point of the Soul

“Make your home in me as I make mine in you” is an amazing statement of Jesus about the mutuality of being hospitable to God and God to us.  Jesus is knocking at the door of our hearts: Do we open our hearts to His?

The Visitation of Mary to her cousin Elizabeth is a model of what each of us can be.  This also serves as a symbol of what the church should be through greeting and welcoming.  The spirit of the Visitation is “a spirit of hospitality towards our neighbor.”  When Mary greeted Elizabeth, John the Baptist, who is in Elizabeth’s womb, leaps with excitement knowing that Jesus, his cousin, is the son of our Lord.  We are challenged in the story of the Visitation to remain open to the Lord’s call and prepare ourselves to be hospitable with joyful anticipation to the presence of God that exists in others.

To the extent that we focus on embodying this welcoming spirit of the living God in relation to ourselves and to others, we are living at what is called in the Salesian tradition at the high point of the soul.   We are called to live at this fine point of our soul and spirit, loving and welcoming, despite what we may be feeling about others or even ourselves, in any given moment.

This is so relevant to our experience here in the United States in these current times.  Our differences and divisions can be so deep seated toward one another that families and friends have been sacrificed because they stand on the other side of the aisle—whether divided by conservative vs. liberal; Democrat vs. Republican; gay vs. straight; legal immigrant vs. illegal immigrant—and the list goes on and on.

By making a choice to be proactively sensitive to all the magnificent subtlety in the world, we can place ourselves on the path that can uplift our whole experience of life.   Sometimes we have a narrow expectation of only looking for the big things in life to make a difference: 

-         We may want a dramatic expression of love from a personal partner.

-         We might expect a large pay raise or to be presented with public recognition or awards for our work.

-         We may, perhaps without realizing it,  expect others to be more concerned about our immediate needs than their own.

When we are not open, we can miss out on so many graces that come to us subtlety.

-         We could miss the small but heartfelt gesture that a family member does specifically for our benefit.

-         We might not notice the sincere but subtle compliment someone offers us at work.

-         We might miss the compromise that long-time opponents offer on a subject that they have been un-budging.

Sometimes, when we are really caught up in what seem to be the bigger cares of life, the drama of subtlety may even seek us out and offer us the gift of freedom, if only for a moment, from our many self-imposed burdens.

Let us learn from the Visitation of Mary and work to live at the high point of the soul.

May God be Praised!

Fr. Ed Ogden, OSFS

Parochial Vicar, St. Thomas the Apostle Parish,

Glenn Mills, PA

This reflection originally appeared in DeSales Weekly, the e-newsletter of the Oblates of St. Francis de Sales.  To received DeSales Weekly, click Subscribe Here.

To see previous DeSales Weekly’s, click here.

For comments or suggestions about DeSales Weekly, contact the editor, Fr. Bill McCandless, OSFS

Father Bill McCandless, OSFS
Oblate Development
wmccandless@oblates.org
Office: 302-656-8529 ext.20

The Direction of Intention: The Heart of Salesian Spirituality

The Starfish Thrower

An old man was walking along a beach after a big storm. Fifty yards ahead of him was a young woman. She was picking up starfish that the storm had stranded on the beach and throwing them back into the sea. When the old man caught up with her, he asked her what she was doing. She replied that the starfish would die unless they were returned to the sea before the sun began beating down on them.

The old man said, “But the beach goes on for miles and miles, and there are thousands of stranded starfish. How can your small effort make a difference?”

Picking up a starfish and holding it lovingly in her hands, she said, “It makes a big difference to this one.” And with that, she returned it to the sea.

The spirit of that young woman is the kind of spirit St. Francis de Sales invites us to strive to imitate.  He provides us with the means to achieve this spirit, namely, the direction of intention. When we feel we cannot make a difference in the work to be done, with our friends, or in overcoming temptation, de Sales tells us that by calling to mind God’s presence before all our actions, we can transform ordinary actions into sacred acts.

The Direction of Intention in the Writings of Francis de Sales

Our human nature is unique in that we alone have the ability to interiorize our life: we remember, we ponder, we reflect, we decide. As such, progress on the spiritual journey is first and foremost a matter of intentionality. How and why we do things is important.

Because the spiritual journey is a matter of traveling away from self-love and toward divine love, Francis counsels us to practice the Direction of Intention. Thus brief, this prayerful consideration focuses our attention on the presence of God in all things and channels our intentions with great psychological effectiveness. It reminds us that what we do is of only relative importance because God alone is ultimate. The prayer projects our desire for spiritual growth away from our own self-sufficiency and brings our action into the realm of God’s grace. And, in the end, it transforms our desire for self-gratification into a willing acceptance of God’s own good pleasure. In this way, we are able to make holy all that we say and do (from Praying with Francis de Sales by Thomas F. Dailey, OSFS).

In The Spirituality Directory of St. Francis de Sales, he writes:

They who wish to thrive and advance in the way of our Lord should, at the beginning of their actions, both exterior and interior, ask for his grace and offer to his divine Goodness all the good they will do. In this way, they will be prepared to bear with peace and serenity all the pain and suffering they will encounter as coming from the fatherly hand of our good God and savior. His most holy intention is to have them merit by such means in order to reward them afterward out of the abundance of his love.

They should not neglect this practice in matters, which are small and seemingly insignificant, nor even if they are engaged in those things, which are agreeable, and in complete conformity with their own will and needs, such as drinking, eating, resting, recreating and similar actions. By following the advice of the Apostle, everything they do will be done in God’s name to please him alone (pp. 23-240).

What St. Francis says here in his advice on the direction of intention is often seen as the heart of his spirituality in general. He himself insists that its practice will help one “to thrive and advance” in sanctity. What is it exactly? It is simply a practice of prayer whereby we consciously direct to God what we are about to do. The action itself becomes sacred.

Take his article on rising as an example. We would rise anyway. But by consciously directing our rising to God we transform it into a religious exercise and, thus, into a means towards holiness. Eating, working, going to class, driving children to school, playing a basketball game—all such actions, given the direction of intention, can have sacred meaning. They can be means—readily at hand—to sanctity.

Do not be fooled by the simplicity of the direction of intention. Its faithful practice led Francis de Sales, Jane de Chantal, Margaret Mary, and countless others to deep and heroic holiness (“Reflections for the Laity” by Lewis S. Fiorelli, OSFS).

The actual direction of intention need not be long or formal. In fact, it need not be said at all. One simply and briefly intends the deed for God and his glory and determines to accept whatever happens in the performance of the deed as coming from his fatherly and kind hand. Here is an example of the direction of intention:

“My God I give you this action, please give me the grace to conduct myself in a manner most pleasing to you. May God be blessed.”

May God be Praised!

Fr. Ed Ogden, OSFS,

Pastor, St. Margaret of Scotland

Newark, DE

This reflection originally appeared in DeSales Weekly, the e-newsletter of the Oblates of St. Francis de Sales.  To received DeSales Weekly, click Subscribe Here.

To see previous DeSales Weekly’s, click here.

For comments or suggestions about DeSales Weekly, contact the editor, Fr. Jack Kolodziej

Father John (Jack) Kolodziej, OSFS
Oblate Development
jkolodziej@oblates.org

Office: 302-656-8529 ext.20

The Optimism of Salesian Spirituality

Christian humanism begins with the assertion that each person is created in the image and likeness of God with innate dignity and free choice.  The principle believes that human nature, while wounded, retains a natural orientation to God.  By nature, human beings are drawn to cooperate with God’s grace.  Despite the fall of humankind, which resulted from free choice, God nonetheless reached into the heart of creation and offered redemption through the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. 

God gives to each person grace to freely participate in his or her own salvation.  He desires that each person be drawn into union for which he or she was created.  Everyone is called to respond.  Their deepest vocation is to realize their fullest capacity for the love of God.

St. Francis’ famous phrase, “I am as human as anyone could possibly be,” suggests that in his mind his very humanity was in fact the vessel, which could contain the miracle of the divine life.  In the Salesian world, to be human means to have a deep interest in all that is human—especially in the affections, in people’s hearts.  Whatever is deeply personal and most heartfelt is the stuff of Salesian Spirituality. 

Here are some practical Salesian ways to maintain an upbeat spirit:

o   Bloom where you are planted.  “The grass is not always greener in somebody else’s yard.”  Life will always be filled with challenges.  Do you best to admit this and decide to be happy in the here and now.

o   “Let us be who we are and be that well.”  Give your best effort to being yourself and you will learn to accept people for who they are, where they are, and how they are.

o   Be a doer and not a reactor.  Set boundaries by beginning with the end in mind (to know where you are going helps you better understand where you are).

o   Before retiring turn over your day to God and when you get up in the morning—start each day anew.

o   Be a more loving person—practice random acts of kindness for a single act of kindness can set a series of kind acts in motion.

o   Maintain a sense of humor.  Once I went to see the movie “Mama Mia” and while watching the moving two ladies were having a passionate conversation in front of me.  When I said to them, “I cannot hear!” with a bit of attitude, one replied, “I should hope not – we are having a private conversation here.”  I was taking myself too seriously and needed to lighten up a bit – I learned that night to laugh at myself.

When we are “as human as anyone could possibly by,” we take a deep interest in all that is human. In so doing, we can live our daily lives with an upbeat spirit. The six suggestions above are not incredibly challenging to perform, but they can result in incredibly positive encounters with ourselves and others!

By Fr. Ed Ogden, OSFS

Parochial Vicar

St. Thomas the Apostle, Glenn Mills, PA

eogden@oblates.org

This reflection originally appeared in DeSales Weekly, the e-newsletter of the Oblates of St. Francis de Sales.  To received DeSales Weekly, click Subscribe Here.

To see previous DeSales Weekly’s, click here.

For comments or suggestions about DeSales Weekly, contact the editor, Fr. Bill McCandless, OSFS

Father Bill McCandless, OSFS
Oblate Development
wmccandless@oblates.org
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Salesian Lessons from a Jewish Rabbi: “See One, Do One, Teach One”

The year before I was ordained a priest, I entered the Chaplain Corps of the United States Navy. After completing the officers’ training program in the summer of 1993, I began my last year of seminary training in Washington, DC.  As a reserve naval officer, serving in the capacity as a “chaplain candidate” since I was not yet ordained, I landed a billet at The United States Naval Academy since Annapolis was only a half hour away. (It also helped that the Command Chaplain was an Oblate).  Fr. John Friel, OSFS, was a man steeped in the Salesian tradition and spoke about St. Francis de Sales in every talk, conference, and service I heard him give at the academy.  However, the person who became most influential in my life at that time was my direct supervisor, Rabbi Bob Feinberg.

Since Fr. Friel held the rank of captain and was the Command Chaplain of the entire Naval Academy community of midshipmen, teachers, and staff, he did not have the time to mentor a junior chaplain with the mere rank of ensign.  Lieutenant Commander Robert Feinberg was given that task and I immediately wondered what I had to learn from a rabbi chaplain whose faith I believed to be so different than my own.  Little did I know that he would be one of the best teachers in my training for the priesthood. 

One of Rabbi Feinberg’s favorite expressions was, “see one, do one, teach one.” This phrase is believed to have been coined by Dr. William Halstead, MD who created the first surgical residency-training program in the United States at John Hopkins. It emphasizes the importance of teaching by example and is still widely used as a teaching model among medical professionals today.  This teaching strategy has been embraced for millennia by the Jewish understanding of the role of a Rabbi as teacher of the faith.  In short, a good rabbi is one who leads and teaches by example.

Rabbi Feinberg believed that the best way to teach me to be a good chaplain was to be at his side and observe.  On the way to a meeting or before he picked up the telephone, he would look at me and say, “see one, do one, teach one.”  I observed him very carefully during these times as he was a fascinating man and had a remarkable way of connecting with people.  After every interaction, whether with a low-ranked seaman or the Admiral of the Naval Academy, he would ask me what I saw, what I heard, and what I learned.  What always struck me most was the loving way he treated each person despite rank, status, or even the importance of the matter at hand.  My experiences at the Naval Academy, under the tutelage of Rabbi Feinberg, were among the most rewarding of my life.

I learned that to be a good priest I had to authentically live what I preached and taught; I had to be a true example for others.  That does not mean I am perfect, or that I ever will be.  Rabbi Feinberg taught me by example the true meaning of the Salesian motto, “be who you are and be that well.”  Part of our human nature is to stumble and fall, but we are to never give up.  We are called by our Creator to continually strive to be our best self, which is essentially to love God, love our neighbor, and to love ourselves.

I also learned there was not the huge difference between being a good rabbi and being a good Oblate.  In fact, there are many more similarities than differences.  When someone asks us to define our spirituality, we Oblates often say, “Salesian Spirituality is best caught, not taught.”   Our patron, St. Francis de Sales, spent most of his time teaching about the most fundamental nature of both the human and the divine, which is love.  He dedicated his greatest work, “Treatise on the Love of God” to this theme and taught its practical applications in his other great work, “An Introduction to the Devout Life.”

What made DeSales such a great teacher were not these books, but that he authentically lived their message in his interactions with others.  His ability to love was the ultimate “see one, do one, teach one.” For this reason, St. Francis de Sales earned a title given to very few saints, Doctor of the Church. 

Much like the training of modern medical doctors, DeSales taught by example.  Even though Dr. Halstead may have coined the term “see one, do one, teach one” in training medical professionals, our Doctor of the Church was living it by word and example hundreds of years before.  Despite my ten years in the Oblate seminary before arriving at the Naval Academy, Rabbi Bob Feinberg taught me the great value of how this motto is lived each day.  He expanded my world view beyond my Catholic Christian education, an even beyond Jewish teaching, to help me see the true applications of the Salesian Spirituality that is the very core of our humanness; to love and to be loved.   

May God be Praised!

Fr. Bill McCandless, OSFS

Oblate Development & Communication

Lieutenant Commander, Untied States Navy, Retired

A Salesian Reflection on the Liberty Bell, An Icon of Freedom

Growing up in Philadelphia, the Liberty Bell was part of the fabric of our city and our lives.  World leaders, local politicians, passionate protestors, and curious tourists were constantly making their way to Chestnut Street to visit a relic of the Revolutionary War.  School trips, summer festivals, and visiting relatives were all opportunities for my friends and me to visit the colonial foundations of our country and see the famous bell that was a focal point for so many causes.

The bell originated about a generation before the American Revolution when the Pennsylvania Assembly ordered a bell to commemorate the 50th anniversary of William Penn's original Constitution of 1701.  This document proclaimed the rights and freedoms valued by people the world over. Penn's ideas on religious freedom, Native American rights, and his inclusion of ordinary citizens in governing their state were forward thinking and “revolutionary” in many ways.

The bell was placed in the steeple of The Pennsylvania State House (later renamed  Independence Hall) with the inscription, "Proclaim Liberty throughout all the land unto all the inhabitants thereof," from Leviticus 25:10. Tradition tells us that it was one many bells that rang out on July 8, 1776, summoning Philadelphians to the first public reading of the Declaration of Independence.

Because of the deep connection to the fight for freedom, the original bell gained iconic importance when abolitionists adopted it as a symbol in their efforts to end slavery throughout America.  The Old State House bell then became known as the “Liberty Bell” and was used throughout the 19th and 20th centuries as a reminder of the nation’s founding ideals set forth in the Declaration of Independence and the U.S. Constitution.

The power of this symbol and the American spirit it represents are illustrated in replicas created and displayed around the country.  From Washington D.C. to Walt Disney World, you can find a version of the Liberty Bell in every state of the union. 

A few years ago, I was in Kansas City raising money for Oblate missions.   Having some free time on a Saturday morning I visited the Harry S. Truman Presidential Library in Independence, Missouri and I walked around the grounds until the tours started.

As I was about to enter the main building, I was surprised to see a replica of the Liberty Bell in a gazebo a few feet from the main entrance. I was even more surprised to read that the bell was a gift from Annecy, France.  Annecy was the diocese where St. Francis de Sales was bishop in the 17th century. 

This bell was given in gratitude for the sacrifices of our men and women who liberated France at the end of World War II.  The bell was formally accepted by President Harry S. Truman on behalf of Independence and the United States at ceremonies held on November 6, 1950.

Being an American, growing up in Philadelphia, and embracing the traditions of St. Francis de Sales as an Oblate all seemed to coalesce at the bell.  Freedom, liberty, faith, and service are not only part of the fabric of our nation but also of our souls.   However, for Christians, especially those who follow Salesian Spirituality, the notion of liberty, freedom, and independence is a bit different than the modern popular view.  St. Francis de Sales, the Bishop of Annecy, speaks of the real meaning of freedom when he writes about “liberty of spirit.”

Pope Benedict quoted St. Francis when he explained this true spirit: “In an age such as ours that seeks freedom, often with violence and unrest, the timeliness of St. Francis de Sales, the great teacher of spirituality and peace, speaks of the spirit of freedom, the true spirit. St. Francis reminds us that human beings find true joy and the most complete fulfilment in God alone. St. Francis tells us to do all through love, nothing through constraint; love obedience more than you fear disobedience. I leave you the spirit of freedom, not that which excludes obedience, which is the freedom of the world, but that liberty that excludes violence, anxiety, and scruples” (Letter of 14 October 1604).

Salesian Spirituality reminds us that each person has the freedom to cooperate in his or her own salvation by our daily choices. The virtue of indifference frees ones to be able to live in a spirit of liberty like the children of God described in the Gospels. This liberty neither asks for a specific result nor rejects what God puts before us.  Human liberty leads one to care about what happens but is always concerned that God’s will is accomplished, whatever the outcome. In practice, Salesian liberty becomes a freedom to serve our neighbor.

As our nation celebrates our Independence, let us continually be inspired not just by the image of the Liberty Bell but by the words of Scripture that are inscribed on this precious symbol: “proclaim liberty throughout all the land.”  As Christians, let us proclaim this liberty through our love and service to our neighbor.   Let us live in a spirit of liberty, justice, and peace.

Happy 4th of July!

Fr. Jack Kolodziej, OSFS

Provincial Councilor and Superior of Salesianum Oblate Community

DeSales Weekly: https://oblates.squarespace.com/desales-weekly

DeSales Weekly Editor: Fr. Bill McCandless, OSFS

A Father Judge Graduate Reflects on Values Learned from St. Francis de Sales

As we come to the end of June, we complete the traditional graduation season in our nation.  The Class of 2020 certainly has experienced a different type of graduation.  However, most schools have found ways to celebrate this milestone virtually or by means of “social distancing.”  The same is true of Father Judge High School in Philadelphia, which has been staffed by the Oblates since its foundation. 

The Oblates would like to share with the readers of DeSales Weekly the inspiring words of Angelo Colon, Father Judge President of the Class of 2020 and President of the National Honor Society.  These words of Salesian wisdom were shared during the virtual celebration of this year’s Baccalaureate Mass.

The one person who connects all our classmates and every generation of Judge is St. Francis de Sales, our patron saint.  He modeled the way all Father Judge students try to live.   We have asked him to pray for us every school day, we have prayed his Direction of Intention and his quotes are displayed throughout the school.  St. Francis de Sales is Judge.

One Salesian quote that continues to resonate with me is “when you encounter difficulties and contradictions, do not try to break them but bend them with gentleness and time.”   Because of everything we have experienced, it is the perfect quote for our time.  

Francis tells us not to be broken by the issues in our lives or world but rather openly accept them with the Salesian gentleness and patience we have learned and practiced at Father Judge.

We have grown together, we have won together, we have lost together, and we have struggled together.  Yet, we did it together.   The brotherhood we started in our freshmen year has developed and advanced until this very day.   But it doesn’t stop.   This bond will never vanish.   It is the bond of the past, the future and the present moment.

Because of the values we have learned from St. Francis de Sales and Father Judge High School, every student in this class has the ability to succeed.  No matter what happens in the future we will be ready because we are Salesian gentleman.  Never forget to handle adversity and time like our patron saint taught us.

Never forget to live today well!

Angelo Colon,

Father Judge High School,

President of the Class of 2020

President of the National Honor Society

DeSales Weekly: https://oblates.squarespace.com/desales-weekly

DeSales Weekly Editor: Fr. Bill McCandless, OSFS

A Salesian Reflection for Father’s Day

This week’s article is written by Paula M. Riley, parishioner at Our Mother of Consolation Parish in Philadelphia, editorial assistant to the Oblates, wife and mother of four.

When I first met my father-in-law Chuck over 30 years ago, he had just come home from his job as a union plumber in Pittsburgh, PA.  A big muscular man with rough hands and a deep voice,  he appeared so strong.  He was a tough, hardworking, proud craftsman but he was also gentle to the bone.  Father to six, he dedicated every ounce of energy to his family.  Though he yelled sometimes when angry and his patience worn thin during house projects, he carried with him a genuine gentleness.

Saint Francis de Sales reminds us of the power of gentleness in his well-known maxim,

Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as real strength

This expression represents my father-in-law so well.  If you passed him on the street, you may see his chiseled features and think those were his greatest attributes, but his real strength was gently loving others, especially his children and grandchildren. 

Like Chuck, the father of my children is gentle. Just as Chuck did, my kids’ dad makes his children the center of his world, engaging with them in a loving and respectful manner.  Being a gentle father means accepting your children as they are, not as you want them to be.  Being a gentle father means forgiving your children in a peaceful way while still teaching them critical lessons. It means letting go and being silent when you long to yell.  Being a gentle father means being present, really present, and focused on them during dinner conversations, ball games, and car rides. 

Fathers are not often described as gentle, too often our society still pressures men to fit into a tough guy mold.  This Father’s Day let us especially celebrate the strong fathers who show their love and devotion through gentleness. Let us learn from Francis de Sales about the true power of encountering each other with gentleness. This commitment to gentleness was born of the fundamental dignity and greatest respect every human person created in God’s holy image and likeness deserves.

As wives, friends, and siblings to fathers everywhere, we can all support gentle parenting.  We can encourage the fathers we know to encounter their children through the lens of gentleness. We can remind them that when they do so, these fathers show children just how strong a father really can be!

Happy Father’s Day!

Paula M. Riley

Communications Consultant

Paula M. Riley

DeSales Weekly: https://oblates.squarespace.com/desales-weekly

DeSales Weekly Editor: Fr. Bill McCandless, OSFS

St. Francis de Sales: Reflections for the Feast of Corpus Chrisi

St. Francis de Sales wrote abundantly on the Holy Eucharist.  Here is a sample of his thoughts in preparation for the Feast of Corpus Christi, the Body and Blood of Christ.

“The Holy Eucharist is the perfect Communion of Saints, for it is the food common to angels, and sainted souls in Paradise, and ourselves; it is the true bread of which all Christians participate. The forgiveness of sins, the author of forgiveness being there, is confirmed; the seed of our resurrection sown, life everlasting bestowed. … This very belief in the most holy Sacrament, which in truth, reality, and substance, contains the true and natural body of Our Lord, is actually the abridgment of our faith, according to that of the Psalmist “He had made a memory of his wonderful works.” O holy and perfect memorial of the Gospel! O admirable summing up of our faith! He who believes, O Lord, in your presence in this most holy sacrament, as your holy Church proposes it, has gathered and sucked the sweet honey of all the flowers of your holy religions: hardly can he ever fail in faith (Catholic Controversies, 324).

The holy love of the Savior presses us, said St. Paul. O God, what an example of surpassing union is this! God was united to our human nature by grace, like a vine to an elm, to enable it in some way to participate in his fruit. But when he saw this union undone by Adam’s sin, he made a closer and more pressing union in the Incarnation and by human nature remains forever joined in personal unity with the divinity. To the end that not only human nature but all men might be intimately united with his goodness, God instituted the sacrament of the most holy Eucharist. Everyone may participate in it so as to unite his Savior with himself in reality and in the way of food. This sacramental union calls us and assists us towards that spiritual union of which we speak (Treatise on the Love of God 2, 7:2, 20-21).

Our Savior has instituted the most August sacrament of the Eucharist, which contains His Flesh and His Blood in their reality, to the end that he who eats of it shall live forever. Whoever, therefore, frequently eats with devotion this food, so effectually confirms the health of their soul that it is almost impossible that they should be poisoned by any kind of evil affection.

We cannot be nourished with this flesh of life and at the same time live with the affections of death. Thus, as humans dwelling in the earthly paradise might have avoided corporal death by power of that living fruit which God had planted therein, so they may also avoid spiritual death by virtue of this sacrament of life” (Introduction to the Devout Life 2:20).

by Sister Susan Marie, VHM

Brooklyn Visitation Monastery Superior and

VHM Second Federation President 

DeSales Weekly: https://oblates.squarespace.com/desales-weekly

DeSales Weekly Editor: Fr. Bill McCandless, OSFS

Leaning on the Holy Spirit During Crisis

Last Sunday’s celebration of Pentecost, the commemoration of the Holy Spirit descending upon the apostles, was perfect timing.  Across this nation as more people die and protests turn violent on top of never-ending uncertainty of the pandemic, many feel powerless. Our cities are in flames, our neighborhoods in conflicts, and our hearts broken.  Like the disciples locked in that upper room, we too may be full of fear.  Where do we go from here?

Our responses are many - marching on the streets, praying, posting on Twitter, writing letters to our representatives, sending notes to friends in pain, praying, crying, and trying to make sense of this all. 

The Spirit that descended on the apostles is the same Spirit that was given to us at our Baptism and strengthened at our Confirmation.  Pentecost reminds us that this Spirit is alive in us.  This bears repeating: This Spirit is alive in us.

Our gifts from the Spirit extend beyond those seven gifts we studied as we prepared for our Confirmation.  Each of us has special gifts from the Spirit.  Our gifts are given to us, not for our own good, but for the good of others; when we use our gifts for others, we witness to our oneness in Christ.  

We must remind ourselves that we are not alone for the Holy Spirit lives in us.  We can draw upon this Spirit as we discern how best to respond to a nation in crisis.  We can be empowered and strengthened by this. During such times of hurt and unrest, we must ask ourselves tough questions and take actions:

How are we using our gifts?

How are we using our gifts to heal the pains of racism, injustice, violence, and ignorance?

How can we leverage these gifts to address what is happening in our world today?

Let us use the Spirit within us to create real change in our world.  Modeling Jesus’ lessons and taping into the Holy Spirit alive in us, we CAN love our neighbor as thyself and work to bring peace into our world.

Paula M. Riley

Communications Consultant

Paula M. Riley

DeSales Weekly: https://oblates.squarespace.com/desales-weekly

DeSales Weekly Editor: Fr. Bill McCandless, OSFS

St. Francis de Sales on Pentecost

Blessed Pentecost!

St. Francis de Sales shares his insights on the Gifts of the Holy Spirit. He says, “These gifts are not only inseparable from charity, but they are the principal virtues, properties, and qualities of charity.

WISDOM is nothing else than the love that relishes, tastes, and experiences how sweet and gentle God is.

UNDERSTANDING is nothing else than love attentive to consider and penetrate the beauty of the truths of faith.

SCIENCE is simply the same love keeping us attentive to know ourselves and creatures to obtain a more perfect knowledge of the service we owe to God.

COUNSEL is also love, as it renders us careful attentive and skilled in choosing the means proper to serve God in a holy manner.

FORTITUDE is love that encourages and animates the heart so as to carry out what counsel has determined must be done.

PIETY is the love that sweetens labor and makes us with good heart gratitude and filial affection do works that please God our Father.

FEAR is simply love as it causes us to fly and shun what is displeasing to God’s majesty.”

by Sister Susan Marie, VHM

Brooklyn Visitation Monastery Superior and

VHM Second Federation President 

Source: Treatise on the Love of God, Book 11, Chapter 15

DeSales Weekly: https://oblates.squarespace.com/desales-weekly

DeSales Weekly Editor: Fr. Bill McCandless, OSFS

The Gift of Water – Blessed and Holy

I’m standing at the sink washing my hands for what seems like – and may just be – the thirtieth time today. It seems strange now, that the most important thing we can do to care for ourselves and those we love is this simple act of washing our hands in running water.  

Water is a powerful sign and symbol for us as followers of Christ today. Imagine how much more it must have been to the desert people of Jesus’ time for whom water was so precious that it could not be wasted in washing; this is why oil was used instead. In this Easter season, water takes on an even greater meaning for us.  From the water which is blessed at the lighting of the new fire, to the image of the Red Sea parted during the Exodus from Egypt, the Rite of Sprinkling as we renew our commitment to our faith and the water used in baptism as we welcome new sisters and brothers into the Christian life – all these remind us of the blessed and sacred water given to us by God.      

I’ve spent much of my life around water.  From years of teaching and coaching swimming, to managing pools and my time aboard a Navy ship, I love being in and around water.  So, the wonderful feel of the water surrounding me, holding me up, washing away the cares of the day as I dived into a pool is but a cherished memory as we learn to live in our “new normal.” For the time being, we miss other experiences as well:  The simple act of dipping our fingers into the holy water font and blessing ourselves as we enter a church.  Families sharing water and the joy of being together at the baptism of their child.  And, the profound act of humility in washing of the feet as we began our Easter season this year.  

But each time we sing the beloved song Be Not Afraid, we affirm that God is with us just as during the Exodus, “Though we pass through raging waters, we shall not drown.”  We know, that in the words of the prophet, Isaiah “We shall draw water joyfully from the springs of salvation.”  We are called to trust in the goodness of our loving God, however challenging that can be at times – especially now. Perhaps every time we go to the sink to wash our hands, we can remind ourselves that this simple act is truly an act of faith. This is a time of thanks to God for the gift of water in our lives and a time to entrust our lives to the God who loves us.  As we wash, we can recall that among the last words of Jesus from the cross were, “Father, I place my life in your hands.”

So, if we are tempted to paralysis by fear of the unknown, we can recall the healing power of the water in the pool at Bethsaida where Jesus healed the paralytic.  If we feel life-less we can recall the great flood of life pouring forth from the limitless springs of living water.  If we feel alone and isolated, we can remember the drink of water given to the alienated Samaritan woman at the well and know the gift of Christ himself who accompanies that gift. 

As our own St. Francis de Sales reminds us: “Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit.   Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset. What is anything in life compared to peace of soul?”

Until we can once again, dip our hands into the font as we enter a church, maybe we can take a moment and bless ourselves as we wash our hands.  Let us remind ourselves of the peace, the joy, and the mercy of our loving God, gained for us in the death and resurrection of Christ as we celebrate this Easter season.  May God’s gift of water be the sign of those realities in our lives.   

Thank you, Lord for the Gift of Water.   Thank you, Lord for the Gift of Life.          

May God be Praised!

Fr. Doug Burns, OSFS

DeSales University

Instructor and Coordinator, Sports & Exercise Physiology

DeSales Weekly: https://oblates.squarespace.com/desales-weekly

DeSales Weekly Editor: Fr. Bill McCandless, OSFS

How Will This Experience Shape Us? And the Generations to Come?

As a newcomer to DeSales University (DSU), I am especially impressed with the Salesian vision that guides our educational community. We are dedicated to “expanding the minds, the talents, and the hearts of curious students to construct new ideas and lead lives of impact.”  I want us to ponder this vision.

I am a very unusual MBA director because my Ph.D. is in Social Gerontology. A main tenant in studying gerontology is understanding the life course and how events, experience, spirituality, and resiliency shape our life trajectory. The pandemic impacts us here and now, but this experience will influence the rest of our lives, and for generations to come. I encourage you to think about the generations that came before you and how their experience shaped who you are. This may give you a chance to consider how today’s experience will impact you and future generations.

When I consider my own life, I am influenced by my parents’ life experiences. My father, the son of immigrants, was born in 1917. As an infant, he and his family contracted the Spanish Flu and my grandmother nearly died. My father grew up during the Depression and when his college scholarship was rescinded because the college’s endowment dried up, he had to pursue another path in life. His talent was organization and logistics. During WWII, he was quickly promoted to First Sargent, unheard of, even then. While in England, helping to prepare for D-Day, he met my mother at a dance. My father’s heart and mind were forever changed by all of these experiences, which occurred early in his life. He and my mother raised five children. They stressed hard work, education, serving others, and seeking truth. Their influence – shaped by war, limited opportunities, limited income, yet enhanced by gratitude, curiosity, and tenacity – impacted my life choices, as well as my children’s lives.

Think about your own choices and how they are shaped by those who came before you. The “linked lives” social theory explains that life’s strongest storylines are punctuated by and enmeshed with other people. How will you take this experience and change your trajectory? I believe God is giving us an opportunity to make new choices. Our natural environment is improving. People are getting back to basics – cooking at home, baking bread (that is if you can find yeast!), breaking bread with our families, and finding joy in simple times such as making a puzzle and playing games. Even when “breaking bread” is virtual, we have technology to stay connected. I cannot imagine the challenges my grandmother endured in 1918. How blessed we are in many ways!

I encourage you to take this moment to expand your minds, use your talents, and follow your heart. Help those in your community who are alone and scared. Our Salesian spirit will guide us on this path.

Keep the faith, be well, and I wish you all the best.

Karen Kent, PhD

Assistant Professor & Director, DeSales University MBA Program
Mary & Joseph’s daughter

Karen.Kent@desales.edu

DeSales Weekly: https://oblates.squarespace.com/desales-weekly

DeSales Weekly Editor: Fr. Bill McCandless, OSFS

A Pandemic Reflection on Being Who You Are

The pandemic has brought us tough times. It has created a real life–and–death battle for some and mental anguish for all. For many of us, it has threatened our sense of self. We are waiting for the better days ahead. Unfortunately, our battle with the virus will not be the last time we will face events that will test our physical and mental limits. All of us will face circumstances throughout our lives that challenge our well-being. What can we do to help ourselves and others overcome these stressful times in our lives?

Over the past 20 years, whenever I am faced with these traumatic situations, two people come to mind, one who we all know and one whom even I don’t really know.

I’ll start with the person I don’t really know. I was at Fairfield University during 2002 for an event called Collegium (a retreat for faculty at Catholic schools), and I was struggling to make a personal decision which would have a profound effect on my life. It was a beautiful sunny day, and while I was taking a break sitting on the grass in the middle of campus, a Catholic nun just happened across my path. She struck up a conversation with me, and I discussed my dilemma. Her words give me comfort to this day, she said: “God wants you to be happy because God loves you.” Her point was that when deciding on my path, God wanted me to choose a path that would make me happy.

I believe even in the toughest of times God loves you and wants you to be happy. To find our happiness during uncertain times, we need to be proactive. I set aside time every day to find my happiness; typically, exercise leads me to connect with my sense of self.    

The second person is St. Francis de Sales. For the past 20 years, he has been telling me to “Be who you are and be that well.” I am Catholic. I’m certainly not a theologian, but I can share with you what that means to me. St. Francis is telling me that I am not perfect and that I don’t even need to try to be perfect; just try to be the best Chris Cocozza I can be. During tough times, that means that I might need to lean on those around me. To be the best me, I need to keep my sense of self. When I struggle to maintain my identity, I speak (not text or email) with my wife, brother, a good friend, etc. and hope that through their kindness and strength they can help me recalibrate. On the flip side, when I feel that positive energy, I reach out to people I know who might be struggling and try to help them. I think if you were to take the same course of action, St. Francis would tell you that you are being your best self.  

By Chris Cocozza, C.P.A., J.D., LL.M.

Division Head/Professor of Business

DeSales University

DeSales Weekly: https://oblates.squarespace.com/desales-weekly

DeSales Weekly Editor: Fr. Bill McCandless, OSFS