An Oblate Experience of the Transfiguration

Once, while giving a retreat to the Oblate missionaries in South Africa, I saw a true transfiguration. It wasn’t on Mt. Tabor and it didn’t involve Moses and  Elijah. But it did include Jesus and ordinary people and I remember to this day.

Offering to help the Oblate pastor of a large territorial mission, we  drove together over hills and dry, dusty roads to a tiny outpost village.  Bringing  Eucharist to the homebound first, we then were scheduled to celebrate liturgy for their weekly celebration.

Entering the village of narrow dirt streets, we noticed tiny two room houses standing in an orderly fashion side by side.  As I mounted the steps to enter a  house, I spotted a small hibachi near the front door which looked frequently used. I knocked on the door which opened immediately.

Stepping inside, I was met with eight to ten young people from ages eight to twenty-three. They were dressed in their Sunday best: women in colorful dresses, and men in jackets and ties.  Everyone  was extremely cordial and welcoming.  They were there to greet the priest, who was carrying Jesus to their grandparents.

With accented English, they conversed well enough to be understood. They were the grandchildren of the couple waiting in their  bedroom. The grandparents were ninety years old  and celebrating seventy-years of marriage.

The men and women explained how overjoyed the grandparents were to receive eucharist from a person far away. This was the highlight of their anniversary, that Jesus is coming to them from America. It made them feel even more blessed by God who had already bestowed so many blessings throughout their seventy years of marriage.

After a few minutes of welcome, the relatives pulled back the curtain and beckoned me to enter.  Alone in the bedroom, I noted two pallet sized beds with a frail infirmed man in one and a weak fragile woman in the other.

As I entered, the two reached across their pallets to clasp hands.  Never taking their eyes off the Eucharist in my hands, they began to whisper familiar prayers never loosening their gaze from my hands.

When I started to say the preparatory prayers, they became visually moved as if anticipating the coming of Jesus. They both smiled when I walked towards them with the Eucharist. When they each received, they fell back against their thin pillows, closing their eyes seeming to disappear into the dim lighting.

They now had what they had waited for, and I had successfully completed my task.  The power of grace in that tiny bedroom seemed to enlarge its dimensions to a king-size room with royalty submerged in those beds.

Their contentment and peace swirled around the faces of these elated grandparents and glided  me through the door into the delightful, smiling, waiting relatives. I was moved by what was happening. I knew this had nothing to do with me but was wrapped in the holiness of this couple lost with Jesus in the Eucharist, and their hungry desire for Him.  Jesus knew from the first moment he entered the house, he was with friends and I was delighted to be with them as part of this celebration. 

This was a true example of how holy ground transpires when two or three are gathered in Jesus’ name. There he is in their midst. Only this day we all saw and felt His presence.

God be Praised!

Fr. Richard DeLillio, OSFS

This reflection originally appeared in DeSales Weekly, the e-newsletter of the Oblates of St. Francis de Sales.  To received DeSales Weekly, click Subscribe Here.

To see previous DeSales Weekly’s, click here.

For comments or suggestions about DeSales Weekly, contact the editor, Fr. Bill McCandless, OSFS

Father Bill McCandless, OSFS
Oblate Development
wmccandless@oblates.org
Office: 302-656-8529 ext.20

Salesian Hospitality: The High Point of the Soul

“Make your home in me as I make mine in you” is an amazing statement of Jesus about the mutuality of being hospitable to God and God to us.  Jesus is knocking at the door of our hearts: Do we open our hearts to His?

The Visitation of Mary to her cousin Elizabeth is a model of what each of us can be.  This also serves as a symbol of what the church should be through greeting and welcoming.  The spirit of the Visitation is “a spirit of hospitality towards our neighbor.”  When Mary greeted Elizabeth, John the Baptist, who is in Elizabeth’s womb, leaps with excitement knowing that Jesus, his cousin, is the son of our Lord.  We are challenged in the story of the Visitation to remain open to the Lord’s call and prepare ourselves to be hospitable with joyful anticipation to the presence of God that exists in others.

To the extent that we focus on embodying this welcoming spirit of the living God in relation to ourselves and to others, we are living at what is called in the Salesian tradition at the high point of the soul.   We are called to live at this fine point of our soul and spirit, loving and welcoming, despite what we may be feeling about others or even ourselves, in any given moment.

This is so relevant to our experience here in the United States in these current times.  Our differences and divisions can be so deep seated toward one another that families and friends have been sacrificed because they stand on the other side of the aisle—whether divided by conservative vs. liberal; Democrat vs. Republican; gay vs. straight; legal immigrant vs. illegal immigrant—and the list goes on and on.

By making a choice to be proactively sensitive to all the magnificent subtlety in the world, we can place ourselves on the path that can uplift our whole experience of life.   Sometimes we have a narrow expectation of only looking for the big things in life to make a difference: 

-         We may want a dramatic expression of love from a personal partner.

-         We might expect a large pay raise or to be presented with public recognition or awards for our work.

-         We may, perhaps without realizing it,  expect others to be more concerned about our immediate needs than their own.

When we are not open, we can miss out on so many graces that come to us subtlety.

-         We could miss the small but heartfelt gesture that a family member does specifically for our benefit.

-         We might not notice the sincere but subtle compliment someone offers us at work.

-         We might miss the compromise that long-time opponents offer on a subject that they have been un-budging.

Sometimes, when we are really caught up in what seem to be the bigger cares of life, the drama of subtlety may even seek us out and offer us the gift of freedom, if only for a moment, from our many self-imposed burdens.

Let us learn from the Visitation of Mary and work to live at the high point of the soul.

May God be Praised!

Fr. Ed Ogden, OSFS

Parochial Vicar, St. Thomas the Apostle Parish,

Glenn Mills, PA

This reflection originally appeared in DeSales Weekly, the e-newsletter of the Oblates of St. Francis de Sales.  To received DeSales Weekly, click Subscribe Here.

To see previous DeSales Weekly’s, click here.

For comments or suggestions about DeSales Weekly, contact the editor, Fr. Bill McCandless, OSFS

Father Bill McCandless, OSFS
Oblate Development
wmccandless@oblates.org
Office: 302-656-8529 ext.20

The Direction of Intention: The Heart of Salesian Spirituality

The Starfish Thrower

An old man was walking along a beach after a big storm. Fifty yards ahead of him was a young woman. She was picking up starfish that the storm had stranded on the beach and throwing them back into the sea. When the old man caught up with her, he asked her what she was doing. She replied that the starfish would die unless they were returned to the sea before the sun began beating down on them.

The old man said, “But the beach goes on for miles and miles, and there are thousands of stranded starfish. How can your small effort make a difference?”

Picking up a starfish and holding it lovingly in her hands, she said, “It makes a big difference to this one.” And with that, she returned it to the sea.

The spirit of that young woman is the kind of spirit St. Francis de Sales invites us to strive to imitate.  He provides us with the means to achieve this spirit, namely, the direction of intention. When we feel we cannot make a difference in the work to be done, with our friends, or in overcoming temptation, de Sales tells us that by calling to mind God’s presence before all our actions, we can transform ordinary actions into sacred acts.

The Direction of Intention in the Writings of Francis de Sales

Our human nature is unique in that we alone have the ability to interiorize our life: we remember, we ponder, we reflect, we decide. As such, progress on the spiritual journey is first and foremost a matter of intentionality. How and why we do things is important.

Because the spiritual journey is a matter of traveling away from self-love and toward divine love, Francis counsels us to practice the Direction of Intention. Thus brief, this prayerful consideration focuses our attention on the presence of God in all things and channels our intentions with great psychological effectiveness. It reminds us that what we do is of only relative importance because God alone is ultimate. The prayer projects our desire for spiritual growth away from our own self-sufficiency and brings our action into the realm of God’s grace. And, in the end, it transforms our desire for self-gratification into a willing acceptance of God’s own good pleasure. In this way, we are able to make holy all that we say and do (from Praying with Francis de Sales by Thomas F. Dailey, OSFS).

In The Spirituality Directory of St. Francis de Sales, he writes:

They who wish to thrive and advance in the way of our Lord should, at the beginning of their actions, both exterior and interior, ask for his grace and offer to his divine Goodness all the good they will do. In this way, they will be prepared to bear with peace and serenity all the pain and suffering they will encounter as coming from the fatherly hand of our good God and savior. His most holy intention is to have them merit by such means in order to reward them afterward out of the abundance of his love.

They should not neglect this practice in matters, which are small and seemingly insignificant, nor even if they are engaged in those things, which are agreeable, and in complete conformity with their own will and needs, such as drinking, eating, resting, recreating and similar actions. By following the advice of the Apostle, everything they do will be done in God’s name to please him alone (pp. 23-240).

What St. Francis says here in his advice on the direction of intention is often seen as the heart of his spirituality in general. He himself insists that its practice will help one “to thrive and advance” in sanctity. What is it exactly? It is simply a practice of prayer whereby we consciously direct to God what we are about to do. The action itself becomes sacred.

Take his article on rising as an example. We would rise anyway. But by consciously directing our rising to God we transform it into a religious exercise and, thus, into a means towards holiness. Eating, working, going to class, driving children to school, playing a basketball game—all such actions, given the direction of intention, can have sacred meaning. They can be means—readily at hand—to sanctity.

Do not be fooled by the simplicity of the direction of intention. Its faithful practice led Francis de Sales, Jane de Chantal, Margaret Mary, and countless others to deep and heroic holiness (“Reflections for the Laity” by Lewis S. Fiorelli, OSFS).

The actual direction of intention need not be long or formal. In fact, it need not be said at all. One simply and briefly intends the deed for God and his glory and determines to accept whatever happens in the performance of the deed as coming from his fatherly and kind hand. Here is an example of the direction of intention:

“My God I give you this action, please give me the grace to conduct myself in a manner most pleasing to you. May God be blessed.”

May God be Praised!

Fr. Ed Ogden, OSFS,

Pastor, St. Margaret of Scotland

Newark, DE

This reflection originally appeared in DeSales Weekly, the e-newsletter of the Oblates of St. Francis de Sales.  To received DeSales Weekly, click Subscribe Here.

To see previous DeSales Weekly’s, click here.

For comments or suggestions about DeSales Weekly, contact the editor, Fr. Jack Kolodziej

Father John (Jack) Kolodziej, OSFS
Oblate Development
jkolodziej@oblates.org

Office: 302-656-8529 ext.20

The Optimism of Salesian Spirituality

Christian humanism begins with the assertion that each person is created in the image and likeness of God with innate dignity and free choice.  The principle believes that human nature, while wounded, retains a natural orientation to God.  By nature, human beings are drawn to cooperate with God’s grace.  Despite the fall of humankind, which resulted from free choice, God nonetheless reached into the heart of creation and offered redemption through the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. 

God gives to each person grace to freely participate in his or her own salvation.  He desires that each person be drawn into union for which he or she was created.  Everyone is called to respond.  Their deepest vocation is to realize their fullest capacity for the love of God.

St. Francis’ famous phrase, “I am as human as anyone could possibly be,” suggests that in his mind his very humanity was in fact the vessel, which could contain the miracle of the divine life.  In the Salesian world, to be human means to have a deep interest in all that is human—especially in the affections, in people’s hearts.  Whatever is deeply personal and most heartfelt is the stuff of Salesian Spirituality. 

Here are some practical Salesian ways to maintain an upbeat spirit:

o   Bloom where you are planted.  “The grass is not always greener in somebody else’s yard.”  Life will always be filled with challenges.  Do you best to admit this and decide to be happy in the here and now.

o   “Let us be who we are and be that well.”  Give your best effort to being yourself and you will learn to accept people for who they are, where they are, and how they are.

o   Be a doer and not a reactor.  Set boundaries by beginning with the end in mind (to know where you are going helps you better understand where you are).

o   Before retiring turn over your day to God and when you get up in the morning—start each day anew.

o   Be a more loving person—practice random acts of kindness for a single act of kindness can set a series of kind acts in motion.

o   Maintain a sense of humor.  Once I went to see the movie “Mama Mia” and while watching the moving two ladies were having a passionate conversation in front of me.  When I said to them, “I cannot hear!” with a bit of attitude, one replied, “I should hope not – we are having a private conversation here.”  I was taking myself too seriously and needed to lighten up a bit – I learned that night to laugh at myself.

When we are “as human as anyone could possibly by,” we take a deep interest in all that is human. In so doing, we can live our daily lives with an upbeat spirit. The six suggestions above are not incredibly challenging to perform, but they can result in incredibly positive encounters with ourselves and others!

By Fr. Ed Ogden, OSFS

Parochial Vicar

St. Thomas the Apostle, Glenn Mills, PA

eogden@oblates.org

This reflection originally appeared in DeSales Weekly, the e-newsletter of the Oblates of St. Francis de Sales.  To received DeSales Weekly, click Subscribe Here.

To see previous DeSales Weekly’s, click here.

For comments or suggestions about DeSales Weekly, contact the editor, Fr. Bill McCandless, OSFS

Father Bill McCandless, OSFS
Oblate Development
wmccandless@oblates.org
Office: 302-656-8529 ext.20

Salesian Lessons from a Jewish Rabbi: “See One, Do One, Teach One”

The year before I was ordained a priest, I entered the Chaplain Corps of the United States Navy. After completing the officers’ training program in the summer of 1993, I began my last year of seminary training in Washington, DC.  As a reserve naval officer, serving in the capacity as a “chaplain candidate” since I was not yet ordained, I landed a billet at The United States Naval Academy since Annapolis was only a half hour away. (It also helped that the Command Chaplain was an Oblate).  Fr. John Friel, OSFS, was a man steeped in the Salesian tradition and spoke about St. Francis de Sales in every talk, conference, and service I heard him give at the academy.  However, the person who became most influential in my life at that time was my direct supervisor, Rabbi Bob Feinberg.

Since Fr. Friel held the rank of captain and was the Command Chaplain of the entire Naval Academy community of midshipmen, teachers, and staff, he did not have the time to mentor a junior chaplain with the mere rank of ensign.  Lieutenant Commander Robert Feinberg was given that task and I immediately wondered what I had to learn from a rabbi chaplain whose faith I believed to be so different than my own.  Little did I know that he would be one of the best teachers in my training for the priesthood. 

One of Rabbi Feinberg’s favorite expressions was, “see one, do one, teach one.” This phrase is believed to have been coined by Dr. William Halstead, MD who created the first surgical residency-training program in the United States at John Hopkins. It emphasizes the importance of teaching by example and is still widely used as a teaching model among medical professionals today.  This teaching strategy has been embraced for millennia by the Jewish understanding of the role of a Rabbi as teacher of the faith.  In short, a good rabbi is one who leads and teaches by example.

Rabbi Feinberg believed that the best way to teach me to be a good chaplain was to be at his side and observe.  On the way to a meeting or before he picked up the telephone, he would look at me and say, “see one, do one, teach one.”  I observed him very carefully during these times as he was a fascinating man and had a remarkable way of connecting with people.  After every interaction, whether with a low-ranked seaman or the Admiral of the Naval Academy, he would ask me what I saw, what I heard, and what I learned.  What always struck me most was the loving way he treated each person despite rank, status, or even the importance of the matter at hand.  My experiences at the Naval Academy, under the tutelage of Rabbi Feinberg, were among the most rewarding of my life.

I learned that to be a good priest I had to authentically live what I preached and taught; I had to be a true example for others.  That does not mean I am perfect, or that I ever will be.  Rabbi Feinberg taught me by example the true meaning of the Salesian motto, “be who you are and be that well.”  Part of our human nature is to stumble and fall, but we are to never give up.  We are called by our Creator to continually strive to be our best self, which is essentially to love God, love our neighbor, and to love ourselves.

I also learned there was not the huge difference between being a good rabbi and being a good Oblate.  In fact, there are many more similarities than differences.  When someone asks us to define our spirituality, we Oblates often say, “Salesian Spirituality is best caught, not taught.”   Our patron, St. Francis de Sales, spent most of his time teaching about the most fundamental nature of both the human and the divine, which is love.  He dedicated his greatest work, “Treatise on the Love of God” to this theme and taught its practical applications in his other great work, “An Introduction to the Devout Life.”

What made DeSales such a great teacher were not these books, but that he authentically lived their message in his interactions with others.  His ability to love was the ultimate “see one, do one, teach one.” For this reason, St. Francis de Sales earned a title given to very few saints, Doctor of the Church. 

Much like the training of modern medical doctors, DeSales taught by example.  Even though Dr. Halstead may have coined the term “see one, do one, teach one” in training medical professionals, our Doctor of the Church was living it by word and example hundreds of years before.  Despite my ten years in the Oblate seminary before arriving at the Naval Academy, Rabbi Bob Feinberg taught me the great value of how this motto is lived each day.  He expanded my world view beyond my Catholic Christian education, an even beyond Jewish teaching, to help me see the true applications of the Salesian Spirituality that is the very core of our humanness; to love and to be loved.   

May God be Praised!

Fr. Bill McCandless, OSFS

Oblate Development & Communication

Lieutenant Commander, Untied States Navy, Retired

A Salesian Reflection on the Liberty Bell, An Icon of Freedom

Growing up in Philadelphia, the Liberty Bell was part of the fabric of our city and our lives.  World leaders, local politicians, passionate protestors, and curious tourists were constantly making their way to Chestnut Street to visit a relic of the Revolutionary War.  School trips, summer festivals, and visiting relatives were all opportunities for my friends and me to visit the colonial foundations of our country and see the famous bell that was a focal point for so many causes.

The bell originated about a generation before the American Revolution when the Pennsylvania Assembly ordered a bell to commemorate the 50th anniversary of William Penn's original Constitution of 1701.  This document proclaimed the rights and freedoms valued by people the world over. Penn's ideas on religious freedom, Native American rights, and his inclusion of ordinary citizens in governing their state were forward thinking and “revolutionary” in many ways.

The bell was placed in the steeple of The Pennsylvania State House (later renamed  Independence Hall) with the inscription, "Proclaim Liberty throughout all the land unto all the inhabitants thereof," from Leviticus 25:10. Tradition tells us that it was one many bells that rang out on July 8, 1776, summoning Philadelphians to the first public reading of the Declaration of Independence.

Because of the deep connection to the fight for freedom, the original bell gained iconic importance when abolitionists adopted it as a symbol in their efforts to end slavery throughout America.  The Old State House bell then became known as the “Liberty Bell” and was used throughout the 19th and 20th centuries as a reminder of the nation’s founding ideals set forth in the Declaration of Independence and the U.S. Constitution.

The power of this symbol and the American spirit it represents are illustrated in replicas created and displayed around the country.  From Washington D.C. to Walt Disney World, you can find a version of the Liberty Bell in every state of the union. 

A few years ago, I was in Kansas City raising money for Oblate missions.   Having some free time on a Saturday morning I visited the Harry S. Truman Presidential Library in Independence, Missouri and I walked around the grounds until the tours started.

As I was about to enter the main building, I was surprised to see a replica of the Liberty Bell in a gazebo a few feet from the main entrance. I was even more surprised to read that the bell was a gift from Annecy, France.  Annecy was the diocese where St. Francis de Sales was bishop in the 17th century. 

This bell was given in gratitude for the sacrifices of our men and women who liberated France at the end of World War II.  The bell was formally accepted by President Harry S. Truman on behalf of Independence and the United States at ceremonies held on November 6, 1950.

Being an American, growing up in Philadelphia, and embracing the traditions of St. Francis de Sales as an Oblate all seemed to coalesce at the bell.  Freedom, liberty, faith, and service are not only part of the fabric of our nation but also of our souls.   However, for Christians, especially those who follow Salesian Spirituality, the notion of liberty, freedom, and independence is a bit different than the modern popular view.  St. Francis de Sales, the Bishop of Annecy, speaks of the real meaning of freedom when he writes about “liberty of spirit.”

Pope Benedict quoted St. Francis when he explained this true spirit: “In an age such as ours that seeks freedom, often with violence and unrest, the timeliness of St. Francis de Sales, the great teacher of spirituality and peace, speaks of the spirit of freedom, the true spirit. St. Francis reminds us that human beings find true joy and the most complete fulfilment in God alone. St. Francis tells us to do all through love, nothing through constraint; love obedience more than you fear disobedience. I leave you the spirit of freedom, not that which excludes obedience, which is the freedom of the world, but that liberty that excludes violence, anxiety, and scruples” (Letter of 14 October 1604).

Salesian Spirituality reminds us that each person has the freedom to cooperate in his or her own salvation by our daily choices. The virtue of indifference frees ones to be able to live in a spirit of liberty like the children of God described in the Gospels. This liberty neither asks for a specific result nor rejects what God puts before us.  Human liberty leads one to care about what happens but is always concerned that God’s will is accomplished, whatever the outcome. In practice, Salesian liberty becomes a freedom to serve our neighbor.

As our nation celebrates our Independence, let us continually be inspired not just by the image of the Liberty Bell but by the words of Scripture that are inscribed on this precious symbol: “proclaim liberty throughout all the land.”  As Christians, let us proclaim this liberty through our love and service to our neighbor.   Let us live in a spirit of liberty, justice, and peace.

Happy 4th of July!

Fr. Jack Kolodziej, OSFS

Provincial Councilor and Superior of Salesianum Oblate Community

DeSales Weekly: https://oblates.squarespace.com/desales-weekly

DeSales Weekly Editor: Fr. Bill McCandless, OSFS

A Father Judge Graduate Reflects on Values Learned from St. Francis de Sales

As we come to the end of June, we complete the traditional graduation season in our nation.  The Class of 2020 certainly has experienced a different type of graduation.  However, most schools have found ways to celebrate this milestone virtually or by means of “social distancing.”  The same is true of Father Judge High School in Philadelphia, which has been staffed by the Oblates since its foundation. 

The Oblates would like to share with the readers of DeSales Weekly the inspiring words of Angelo Colon, Father Judge President of the Class of 2020 and President of the National Honor Society.  These words of Salesian wisdom were shared during the virtual celebration of this year’s Baccalaureate Mass.

The one person who connects all our classmates and every generation of Judge is St. Francis de Sales, our patron saint.  He modeled the way all Father Judge students try to live.   We have asked him to pray for us every school day, we have prayed his Direction of Intention and his quotes are displayed throughout the school.  St. Francis de Sales is Judge.

One Salesian quote that continues to resonate with me is “when you encounter difficulties and contradictions, do not try to break them but bend them with gentleness and time.”   Because of everything we have experienced, it is the perfect quote for our time.  

Francis tells us not to be broken by the issues in our lives or world but rather openly accept them with the Salesian gentleness and patience we have learned and practiced at Father Judge.

We have grown together, we have won together, we have lost together, and we have struggled together.  Yet, we did it together.   The brotherhood we started in our freshmen year has developed and advanced until this very day.   But it doesn’t stop.   This bond will never vanish.   It is the bond of the past, the future and the present moment.

Because of the values we have learned from St. Francis de Sales and Father Judge High School, every student in this class has the ability to succeed.  No matter what happens in the future we will be ready because we are Salesian gentleman.  Never forget to handle adversity and time like our patron saint taught us.

Never forget to live today well!

Angelo Colon,

Father Judge High School,

President of the Class of 2020

President of the National Honor Society

DeSales Weekly: https://oblates.squarespace.com/desales-weekly

DeSales Weekly Editor: Fr. Bill McCandless, OSFS

A Salesian Reflection for Father’s Day

This week’s article is written by Paula M. Riley, parishioner at Our Mother of Consolation Parish in Philadelphia, editorial assistant to the Oblates, wife and mother of four.

When I first met my father-in-law Chuck over 30 years ago, he had just come home from his job as a union plumber in Pittsburgh, PA.  A big muscular man with rough hands and a deep voice,  he appeared so strong.  He was a tough, hardworking, proud craftsman but he was also gentle to the bone.  Father to six, he dedicated every ounce of energy to his family.  Though he yelled sometimes when angry and his patience worn thin during house projects, he carried with him a genuine gentleness.

Saint Francis de Sales reminds us of the power of gentleness in his well-known maxim,

Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as real strength

This expression represents my father-in-law so well.  If you passed him on the street, you may see his chiseled features and think those were his greatest attributes, but his real strength was gently loving others, especially his children and grandchildren. 

Like Chuck, the father of my children is gentle. Just as Chuck did, my kids’ dad makes his children the center of his world, engaging with them in a loving and respectful manner.  Being a gentle father means accepting your children as they are, not as you want them to be.  Being a gentle father means forgiving your children in a peaceful way while still teaching them critical lessons. It means letting go and being silent when you long to yell.  Being a gentle father means being present, really present, and focused on them during dinner conversations, ball games, and car rides. 

Fathers are not often described as gentle, too often our society still pressures men to fit into a tough guy mold.  This Father’s Day let us especially celebrate the strong fathers who show their love and devotion through gentleness. Let us learn from Francis de Sales about the true power of encountering each other with gentleness. This commitment to gentleness was born of the fundamental dignity and greatest respect every human person created in God’s holy image and likeness deserves.

As wives, friends, and siblings to fathers everywhere, we can all support gentle parenting.  We can encourage the fathers we know to encounter their children through the lens of gentleness. We can remind them that when they do so, these fathers show children just how strong a father really can be!

Happy Father’s Day!

Paula M. Riley

Communications Consultant

Paula M. Riley

DeSales Weekly: https://oblates.squarespace.com/desales-weekly

DeSales Weekly Editor: Fr. Bill McCandless, OSFS

St. Francis de Sales: Reflections for the Feast of Corpus Chrisi

St. Francis de Sales wrote abundantly on the Holy Eucharist.  Here is a sample of his thoughts in preparation for the Feast of Corpus Christi, the Body and Blood of Christ.

“The Holy Eucharist is the perfect Communion of Saints, for it is the food common to angels, and sainted souls in Paradise, and ourselves; it is the true bread of which all Christians participate. The forgiveness of sins, the author of forgiveness being there, is confirmed; the seed of our resurrection sown, life everlasting bestowed. … This very belief in the most holy Sacrament, which in truth, reality, and substance, contains the true and natural body of Our Lord, is actually the abridgment of our faith, according to that of the Psalmist “He had made a memory of his wonderful works.” O holy and perfect memorial of the Gospel! O admirable summing up of our faith! He who believes, O Lord, in your presence in this most holy sacrament, as your holy Church proposes it, has gathered and sucked the sweet honey of all the flowers of your holy religions: hardly can he ever fail in faith (Catholic Controversies, 324).

The holy love of the Savior presses us, said St. Paul. O God, what an example of surpassing union is this! God was united to our human nature by grace, like a vine to an elm, to enable it in some way to participate in his fruit. But when he saw this union undone by Adam’s sin, he made a closer and more pressing union in the Incarnation and by human nature remains forever joined in personal unity with the divinity. To the end that not only human nature but all men might be intimately united with his goodness, God instituted the sacrament of the most holy Eucharist. Everyone may participate in it so as to unite his Savior with himself in reality and in the way of food. This sacramental union calls us and assists us towards that spiritual union of which we speak (Treatise on the Love of God 2, 7:2, 20-21).

Our Savior has instituted the most August sacrament of the Eucharist, which contains His Flesh and His Blood in their reality, to the end that he who eats of it shall live forever. Whoever, therefore, frequently eats with devotion this food, so effectually confirms the health of their soul that it is almost impossible that they should be poisoned by any kind of evil affection.

We cannot be nourished with this flesh of life and at the same time live with the affections of death. Thus, as humans dwelling in the earthly paradise might have avoided corporal death by power of that living fruit which God had planted therein, so they may also avoid spiritual death by virtue of this sacrament of life” (Introduction to the Devout Life 2:20).

by Sister Susan Marie, VHM

Brooklyn Visitation Monastery Superior and

VHM Second Federation President 

DeSales Weekly: https://oblates.squarespace.com/desales-weekly

DeSales Weekly Editor: Fr. Bill McCandless, OSFS

Leaning on the Holy Spirit During Crisis

Last Sunday’s celebration of Pentecost, the commemoration of the Holy Spirit descending upon the apostles, was perfect timing.  Across this nation as more people die and protests turn violent on top of never-ending uncertainty of the pandemic, many feel powerless. Our cities are in flames, our neighborhoods in conflicts, and our hearts broken.  Like the disciples locked in that upper room, we too may be full of fear.  Where do we go from here?

Our responses are many - marching on the streets, praying, posting on Twitter, writing letters to our representatives, sending notes to friends in pain, praying, crying, and trying to make sense of this all. 

The Spirit that descended on the apostles is the same Spirit that was given to us at our Baptism and strengthened at our Confirmation.  Pentecost reminds us that this Spirit is alive in us.  This bears repeating: This Spirit is alive in us.

Our gifts from the Spirit extend beyond those seven gifts we studied as we prepared for our Confirmation.  Each of us has special gifts from the Spirit.  Our gifts are given to us, not for our own good, but for the good of others; when we use our gifts for others, we witness to our oneness in Christ.  

We must remind ourselves that we are not alone for the Holy Spirit lives in us.  We can draw upon this Spirit as we discern how best to respond to a nation in crisis.  We can be empowered and strengthened by this. During such times of hurt and unrest, we must ask ourselves tough questions and take actions:

How are we using our gifts?

How are we using our gifts to heal the pains of racism, injustice, violence, and ignorance?

How can we leverage these gifts to address what is happening in our world today?

Let us use the Spirit within us to create real change in our world.  Modeling Jesus’ lessons and taping into the Holy Spirit alive in us, we CAN love our neighbor as thyself and work to bring peace into our world.

Paula M. Riley

Communications Consultant

Paula M. Riley

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DeSales Weekly Editor: Fr. Bill McCandless, OSFS

St. Francis de Sales on Pentecost

Blessed Pentecost!

St. Francis de Sales shares his insights on the Gifts of the Holy Spirit. He says, “These gifts are not only inseparable from charity, but they are the principal virtues, properties, and qualities of charity.

WISDOM is nothing else than the love that relishes, tastes, and experiences how sweet and gentle God is.

UNDERSTANDING is nothing else than love attentive to consider and penetrate the beauty of the truths of faith.

SCIENCE is simply the same love keeping us attentive to know ourselves and creatures to obtain a more perfect knowledge of the service we owe to God.

COUNSEL is also love, as it renders us careful attentive and skilled in choosing the means proper to serve God in a holy manner.

FORTITUDE is love that encourages and animates the heart so as to carry out what counsel has determined must be done.

PIETY is the love that sweetens labor and makes us with good heart gratitude and filial affection do works that please God our Father.

FEAR is simply love as it causes us to fly and shun what is displeasing to God’s majesty.”

by Sister Susan Marie, VHM

Brooklyn Visitation Monastery Superior and

VHM Second Federation President 

Source: Treatise on the Love of God, Book 11, Chapter 15

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DeSales Weekly Editor: Fr. Bill McCandless, OSFS

The Gift of Water – Blessed and Holy

I’m standing at the sink washing my hands for what seems like – and may just be – the thirtieth time today. It seems strange now, that the most important thing we can do to care for ourselves and those we love is this simple act of washing our hands in running water.  

Water is a powerful sign and symbol for us as followers of Christ today. Imagine how much more it must have been to the desert people of Jesus’ time for whom water was so precious that it could not be wasted in washing; this is why oil was used instead. In this Easter season, water takes on an even greater meaning for us.  From the water which is blessed at the lighting of the new fire, to the image of the Red Sea parted during the Exodus from Egypt, the Rite of Sprinkling as we renew our commitment to our faith and the water used in baptism as we welcome new sisters and brothers into the Christian life – all these remind us of the blessed and sacred water given to us by God.      

I’ve spent much of my life around water.  From years of teaching and coaching swimming, to managing pools and my time aboard a Navy ship, I love being in and around water.  So, the wonderful feel of the water surrounding me, holding me up, washing away the cares of the day as I dived into a pool is but a cherished memory as we learn to live in our “new normal.” For the time being, we miss other experiences as well:  The simple act of dipping our fingers into the holy water font and blessing ourselves as we enter a church.  Families sharing water and the joy of being together at the baptism of their child.  And, the profound act of humility in washing of the feet as we began our Easter season this year.  

But each time we sing the beloved song Be Not Afraid, we affirm that God is with us just as during the Exodus, “Though we pass through raging waters, we shall not drown.”  We know, that in the words of the prophet, Isaiah “We shall draw water joyfully from the springs of salvation.”  We are called to trust in the goodness of our loving God, however challenging that can be at times – especially now. Perhaps every time we go to the sink to wash our hands, we can remind ourselves that this simple act is truly an act of faith. This is a time of thanks to God for the gift of water in our lives and a time to entrust our lives to the God who loves us.  As we wash, we can recall that among the last words of Jesus from the cross were, “Father, I place my life in your hands.”

So, if we are tempted to paralysis by fear of the unknown, we can recall the healing power of the water in the pool at Bethsaida where Jesus healed the paralytic.  If we feel life-less we can recall the great flood of life pouring forth from the limitless springs of living water.  If we feel alone and isolated, we can remember the drink of water given to the alienated Samaritan woman at the well and know the gift of Christ himself who accompanies that gift. 

As our own St. Francis de Sales reminds us: “Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit.   Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset. What is anything in life compared to peace of soul?”

Until we can once again, dip our hands into the font as we enter a church, maybe we can take a moment and bless ourselves as we wash our hands.  Let us remind ourselves of the peace, the joy, and the mercy of our loving God, gained for us in the death and resurrection of Christ as we celebrate this Easter season.  May God’s gift of water be the sign of those realities in our lives.   

Thank you, Lord for the Gift of Water.   Thank you, Lord for the Gift of Life.          

May God be Praised!

Fr. Doug Burns, OSFS

DeSales University

Instructor and Coordinator, Sports & Exercise Physiology

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DeSales Weekly Editor: Fr. Bill McCandless, OSFS

How Will This Experience Shape Us? And the Generations to Come?

As a newcomer to DeSales University (DSU), I am especially impressed with the Salesian vision that guides our educational community. We are dedicated to “expanding the minds, the talents, and the hearts of curious students to construct new ideas and lead lives of impact.”  I want us to ponder this vision.

I am a very unusual MBA director because my Ph.D. is in Social Gerontology. A main tenant in studying gerontology is understanding the life course and how events, experience, spirituality, and resiliency shape our life trajectory. The pandemic impacts us here and now, but this experience will influence the rest of our lives, and for generations to come. I encourage you to think about the generations that came before you and how their experience shaped who you are. This may give you a chance to consider how today’s experience will impact you and future generations.

When I consider my own life, I am influenced by my parents’ life experiences. My father, the son of immigrants, was born in 1917. As an infant, he and his family contracted the Spanish Flu and my grandmother nearly died. My father grew up during the Depression and when his college scholarship was rescinded because the college’s endowment dried up, he had to pursue another path in life. His talent was organization and logistics. During WWII, he was quickly promoted to First Sargent, unheard of, even then. While in England, helping to prepare for D-Day, he met my mother at a dance. My father’s heart and mind were forever changed by all of these experiences, which occurred early in his life. He and my mother raised five children. They stressed hard work, education, serving others, and seeking truth. Their influence – shaped by war, limited opportunities, limited income, yet enhanced by gratitude, curiosity, and tenacity – impacted my life choices, as well as my children’s lives.

Think about your own choices and how they are shaped by those who came before you. The “linked lives” social theory explains that life’s strongest storylines are punctuated by and enmeshed with other people. How will you take this experience and change your trajectory? I believe God is giving us an opportunity to make new choices. Our natural environment is improving. People are getting back to basics – cooking at home, baking bread (that is if you can find yeast!), breaking bread with our families, and finding joy in simple times such as making a puzzle and playing games. Even when “breaking bread” is virtual, we have technology to stay connected. I cannot imagine the challenges my grandmother endured in 1918. How blessed we are in many ways!

I encourage you to take this moment to expand your minds, use your talents, and follow your heart. Help those in your community who are alone and scared. Our Salesian spirit will guide us on this path.

Keep the faith, be well, and I wish you all the best.

Karen Kent, PhD

Assistant Professor & Director, DeSales University MBA Program
Mary & Joseph’s daughter

Karen.Kent@desales.edu

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DeSales Weekly Editor: Fr. Bill McCandless, OSFS

A Pandemic Reflection on Being Who You Are

The pandemic has brought us tough times. It has created a real life–and–death battle for some and mental anguish for all. For many of us, it has threatened our sense of self. We are waiting for the better days ahead. Unfortunately, our battle with the virus will not be the last time we will face events that will test our physical and mental limits. All of us will face circumstances throughout our lives that challenge our well-being. What can we do to help ourselves and others overcome these stressful times in our lives?

Over the past 20 years, whenever I am faced with these traumatic situations, two people come to mind, one who we all know and one whom even I don’t really know.

I’ll start with the person I don’t really know. I was at Fairfield University during 2002 for an event called Collegium (a retreat for faculty at Catholic schools), and I was struggling to make a personal decision which would have a profound effect on my life. It was a beautiful sunny day, and while I was taking a break sitting on the grass in the middle of campus, a Catholic nun just happened across my path. She struck up a conversation with me, and I discussed my dilemma. Her words give me comfort to this day, she said: “God wants you to be happy because God loves you.” Her point was that when deciding on my path, God wanted me to choose a path that would make me happy.

I believe even in the toughest of times God loves you and wants you to be happy. To find our happiness during uncertain times, we need to be proactive. I set aside time every day to find my happiness; typically, exercise leads me to connect with my sense of self.    

The second person is St. Francis de Sales. For the past 20 years, he has been telling me to “Be who you are and be that well.” I am Catholic. I’m certainly not a theologian, but I can share with you what that means to me. St. Francis is telling me that I am not perfect and that I don’t even need to try to be perfect; just try to be the best Chris Cocozza I can be. During tough times, that means that I might need to lean on those around me. To be the best me, I need to keep my sense of self. When I struggle to maintain my identity, I speak (not text or email) with my wife, brother, a good friend, etc. and hope that through their kindness and strength they can help me recalibrate. On the flip side, when I feel that positive energy, I reach out to people I know who might be struggling and try to help them. I think if you were to take the same course of action, St. Francis would tell you that you are being your best self.  

By Chris Cocozza, C.P.A., J.D., LL.M.

Division Head/Professor of Business

DeSales University

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DeSales Weekly Editor: Fr. Bill McCandless, OSFS

Nine Heroic Efforts of St. Jane de Chantal to Combat One of Europe's Worst Plagues

With the daily alarming reports of the COVID-19 pandemic it is helpful to recall how the saints in the Church responded with clear-mindedness and charity.

One such saint, St. Jane de Chantal, prayed assiduously and took noble action in her role as the superior of her community of Visitation Sisters in Annecy, in east-central France. Her virtues shone in the face of one of Europe’s most devastating plagues, which killed nearly a million people in France alone between 1628-1631. 

St. Jane, along with St. Francis de Sales, founded the Visitation Sisters which grew throughout France and eventually to America and other parts of the world.

Nine Heroic Efforts

A brief review of the accounts of the day reveals St. Jane’s thoroughness and zeal. She:

• Sent food and medicine to seven of her convents.

• Called a council of physicians in Paris to find what could be done to combat the scourge.

• Assembled a body of theologians to examine whether the Sisters could in conscience leave their enclosure in order to avoid the contagion. 

• Sent circular letters to all her houses to encourage and console the Sisters, and to remind them to prepare for the coming of the Spouse.

• Refused to leave her community when demanded to do so by the local duke with the declaration that she would not abandon her flock.

• Recommended the exact observance of the Rules, which are guidelines for daily living within each community.

• Prepared her sisters in the event of her own death.

• Served the poor and sick near the convent by making available to them food and spiritual aid.

• Prayed and fasted with the other sisters on bread and water, performed public penances in the refectory, and fervently begged that God would remove the plague from their midst.

Plagues Nothing New

Historians have tracked various plagues in Europe since the 700s. In Christian countries, plagues have sparked great supplications to God and acts of public penance for relief of the suffering.

A historian of the Visitation Sisters, Emile Bougaud, recounts in his book, St. Chantal and the Foundation of the Visitation, Vol. 2, the acts of the saint at the time.

“Never did Mother de Chantal appear more admirable than under these circumstances. The old ardor of her nature, which for so many years she had been trying to moderate, now reasserted itself.

‘I have written three or four letters to you, my dear daughter,’ she wrote to the Superioress of one of the convents attacked by the plague, ‘and of what are you thinking not to answer me? Do you not know that I am on thorns?’ 

“It was also at this trying period that she displayed that industrious activity, that practical knowledge, that enthusiasm tempered by coolness, so valuable on such occasions. She thought of, she provided for everything. Her heart embraced in its tender solicitude all the wants of her daughters; her mind was as large as her heart.”

Bougard also noted, “Her burning words fired the enthusiasm of the Bishop, Monseigneur Jean-Francois de Sales, who, with a handful of heroic priests, went about ministering consolation to the dying for more than ten months.”

The Convent’s Peace and Serenity

In the midst of such tribulation and unrest in society, how did the sisters in St. Jane’s community at Annecy fare?

Bougaud continues, “It was indeed wonderful, the peace and serenity of her spiritual daughters in the very centre of the infection, and face to face with a death imminent and horrible, that put the bravest to flight. The community exercises were not once interrupted. In the midst of the mournful silence of the city their bell rang out as sweetly and regularly as before, and the same soft and devout chanting was heard behind their grate. 

“‘I always saw our Sisters in their usual tranquility,” wrote St. DeChantal; ‘there never appeared in the community fear, anxiety, or dread. The customary exercises of our state went on exactly without interruption or dispensation, with the usual peace and cheerfulness. . . . Although two or three times there was reason to believe the disease was in the house, yet I never observed the least consternation among our Sisters. They took their little remedies quite cheerfully, each one keeping herself ready to pass into eternity as soon as notified….”

The way their confessor was treated shows the practice of their own version of social distancing. St. Chantal recalls a practice that might well be practiced today in our 21st century liturgies: “...we were determined not to expose our good and holy confessor. If anyone had stood in need of him, he would have heard her confession from a distance. To administer the Holy Eucharist to her, he would have put the Sacred Host between two small slices of bread and laid it upon the place prepared for the purpose, whence it would have been taken as respectfully as possible by the Sister nurse. This is the way the sacraments are administered in this country to the pest-stricken.”

The historian concludes, “The plague yielded, at last, to these ardent prayers. It abandoned the city after having ravaged it for nearly a year.”

Three Takeaways

We can discern three takeaways from this experience of St. Jane and the other sisters:

1.  Help your own family, as well as other people.

2.     Keep a consistent routine among those you live with.

3.     Pray and however it turns out, resign yourself to the will of God.

By Kevin J. Banet,  website

Kevin J. Banet is a journalist and publicist. He works mainly for Catholic religious communities and non-profits. Kevin worked for years for family-based organizations, and then really got his eyes opened when he got married and became the father of two children. He and his family live in the Chicago area. His website is VocationPromotion.com.

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DeSales Weekly Editor: Fr. Bill McCandless, OSFS

Keeping Our Spirit Strong

In times of uncertainty, such as this time of isolation due to COVID-19 quarantine and shelter-in-place directives, taking time to reflect becomes essential. As we continue to look for ways to navigate this time at home, I find that these ten phrases keep my spirit strong and so, I share them with you. 

1. Even though this virus is a pain for so many, I do not have to be one. (Adapted from Maya Angelou)

2. Be patient with everyone, above all yourself. (St. Francis de Sales)

3. Be still and know that I am God. (Psalm 46)

4. Repetition is good: Wash your hands; Don’t touch your eyes; Love one another.

5. Do not let your hearts be troubled; you have faith in God, have faith also in me. (John 14:1)

6. Do not worry about tomorrow with its cares and concerns. Live only for today with its cares for when tomorrow arrives, it too will be called today. Live today well. (St. Francis de Sales)

7. You are unique, an irreplaceable, irrepeatable work of God: Be who you are and be that thoroughly well. (St. Francis de Sales)

8. Live four-letter words: Live, Love, Give, Tell, Open, Hear, Hope, Sing, Gasp, Fall, Lift, Amen. These give us Life.

9. Fear and hate, as well as other four-letter words, should be avoided because they do not give us life and only remind us that we are not being the very best of who we are.

10. The first gift of the Risen Lord to His disciples was peace. Peace be with you. In the midst of their, anguish, sadness, despair, confusion, and loss, He offered peace. Peace be with you and your families in these uncertain days. Peace, because it is Easter. Our peace has to end with Alleluia because that is our calling and anthem. Peace, Alleluia!

Alleluia! Live Jesus!

Fr. Matt Hillyard, OSFS

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DeSales Weekly Editor: Fr. Bill McCandless, OSFS

Jesus’ Voice Soothes: A Message of Comfort

Before sheltering in place, I was shopping recently at Macy’s department store. While there, I encountered a toddler loudly crying, “Mommy! Mommy!  I want my mommy!”  Surrounding this teary-eyed frightened crying child were other mothers all urgently trying to comfort him.

However, no matter how soothing their words or reassuring their pleas, no one stopped his crying or his unlimited tears.  Everyone kept hearing, “Mommy, I want my mommy!”  Then suddenly we heard, “Peter, Peter, Mommy’s over here.”

At the sound of his name, Peter stopped his crying as he ran in the direction of the voice calling his name.  He jumped into his mother’s arms and they both tenderly hugged each other.  Mommy was definitely the only person Peter needed to see and hear.  They belonged to each other.  They felt safe together and they were at home, even in the large department store!

Watching Peter snuggle in his mother’s arms, I gained an insight into how Jesus wants his voice to touch our everyday lives.  Jesus wants his voice to be the power that soothes in unsafe times, encourages during cloudy days, and provides joy and delight in cheerful moments.

No other voice but Jesus’ alone can manage all these with such gentleness, kindness, and thoughtfulness.  Why? Because Jesus’ words arise from his painful act of dying, rising, and reconciling creation with his Father.  After undertaking all these things without counting the cost to himself, why wouldn’t his love show in every word he speaks?  Love is always pouring from Jesus’ heart anticipating the next moments he can console those he loves. 

This is why Jesus whispers our name no matter the frequency, the place, or the reason.  What delights Jesus most is to see us run as affectionately towards him as Peter did towards his mother.  When we do, Jesus may even hug us while saying, “You are home.  You’re safe.  You belong with me.”  And, like Peter in that huge department store, we too will feel just as safe!

Happy Easter!

Fr. Richard R. DeLillio, OSFS

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Gravy and Grace: A Reflection for Easter Triduum

A professor of mine once opined that economics is a matter of scarcity:
How do we distribute resources that are finite?

Regardless of whether all economists would agree with my professor’s statement, during this time marked by the COVID-19 pandemic, we can agree that scarcity has confronted us in a new, stark way.

Hospitals, care homes, and other essential services desperately try to maintain staffing levels. Industry races to manufacture life-saving equipment and protective gear. Neighbors, colleagues, friends, and families long for the everyday, face-to- face interactions we so often took for granted.

Scarcity, as a brute fact, can be jarring enough. When the fact transforms into mindset, it can breed competition, desperation, and even hopelessness.

I expected to find myself immersed in such mindset when I began working at a men’s shelter in Vancouver just before the start of Lent. After all, a person does not usually walk through the doors of a shelter unless he or she is experiencing scarcity of some kind or another: housing, work, or a safety net of social relationships.

Particularly, I feared confrontation with scarcity at mealtimes, when I was occasionally tasked with distributing food to a room full of hungry men who had spent the day hard at work, walking the streets, or waiting for shelter.

This was especially true one night when the dinner to be served was barbeque pork chops and potatoes. My friendly smile hid my anxiousness as I counted the dwindling number of pork chops and peered out at the still lengthy line of men awaiting their meal. What kind of mutiny would ensue if we ran out? After all, if I had not had a good meal all day, being told “we’re out” would likely result in more than a little frustration and anger.

To my relief, we had enough pork chops for everyone, and once the last juicy cut of meat had been distributed, I began to hastily stack the empty pans on a cart, ready to retreat to the dish room.

Before I could discreetly wheel the cart away, a guest noticed that the pans weren’t completely empty. A thick layer of leftover gravy lined the bottom of the pans. He asked if he could take a pan to scrape off the remaining gravy.

What happened next transformed my exhausted nervousness into delight.

Rather than just taking some extra gravy for himself and returning the pan, as I had expected, he began to cheerfully walk around the room, declaring, “gravy! gravy!” and doling out the delicious excess onto the plates of his fellow guests. I detected more than a few smiles as the men received the rich mix of juices and barbeque sauce.

What that one perceptive and generous guest did in the presence of his brethren was no less than the action of Christ himself, of whom we are all members. He took a sign of scarcity, a stack of empty pans, and took the drippings, the waste, and transformed it into the sign and substance of abundance. He declared that humans are not made solely to be nourished for bare survival: we are made to joyfully draw water (or sometimes gravy!) from the springs of salvation, even if those springs have the appearance of a stack of dirty dishes.  

This guest’s action of fraternal generosity was a needed reminder for me that in times as these, when we find ourselves scraping by on leftover money, energy, or love, it’s Jesus who looks at the bottom of the pan and pours rich gravy for us...who anoints our head with oil, who pours our cup to overflowing.

Perhaps it is scandalous to so lavishly write about abundance when so many of us face the bleak realities of deprivation and loss. But this is the same scandalous liberality with which Christ confronted his own impending death. Sometimes, the fear and trembling must come, as it did for Jesus as he wept in the garden. But before the hour when darkness reigns, Jesus broke bread and shared wine with his friends in the upper room reminding us that friendship and joy are the alpha and the omega. He reminds us that even when night seems to befall us from all sides, the light of God’s grace, God’s abundant love, still remains.

There’s been times during the past few months which I’ve doubted the existence of grace. In having to tell men at the door, “sorry, there are no more beds available ,” and in seeing the desolation felt by men condemned by these words to wander through empty streets and past shuttered doors, I have sometimes felt like uttering the desolate cry of Christ on the cross, “my God, my God, why have you forsaken us?” Even more temptingly, the declaration of Nietzsche’s character, Zarathustra, “God is dead.”

From the depth of these doubts God raises up the Good News proclaimed by the Church, even when it has appeared to be silenced. When we gather this Easter Triduum with those we love or have been forced to love through our involuntary confinement together, and we break bread together in our homes we break open the Word that spans all time and distance and will bring us all together.  Once again, we declare that even if God appears locked away in the tomb, God is not dead, God has not forsaken his people, God is alive and continues to dine with us, drizzling the gravy and gracing us with his presence.

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DeSales Weekly Editor: Fr. Bill McCandless, OSFS

Amidst Crisis, A Mom Leans on St. Francis de Sales

To keep her children busy, Paula organizes daily activities for them. Pictured here are her four kids on a hike with their mom in Wissahickon Park in Chestnut Hill, PA

Be who you are and be that well.

This well-known maxim of St. Francis de Sales has guided me as I’ve held many roles in my life.  Some of those roles can seem inconsequential while others feel overwhelmingly important. Francis teaches us to celebrate all the roles we play, regardless of their “importance.”  I have especially cherished his teaching that being holy means living our ordinary lives in extraordinary ways.

Now, in this time of crisis, as my roles seem harder and harder to fulfill, I find St. Francis’ words challenging me in new ways.

Being mom to four teens/preteens has always been my favorite job.  As this pandemic unfolds, my favorite role feels completely upended.  Now, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, I am homeschool teacher, short order cook, conflict mediator, cruise director, sports coach, gatherer, and counselor.  With each passing day, new demands present themselves and new conflicts arise as I try to meet my kids’ needs, while also completing work requirements.

As professor to college seniors, I find myself working to support these promising young men and women who today are crushed and confused but were so hopeful just weeks ago.  They need so much more than lectures and feedback on their papers.  I give them what I can but at times, I feel so lost for them.

With the many new challenges each day brings, Francis’ words echo through my mind more clearly and more loudly.  His directive to be who you are and be that well has evolved into hourly reminders that sustain and nourish me.  As my roles evolve and the needs of my children and students grow, I repeatedly tell myself that each effort I make, regardless of how small it may seem, is significant.  If I try to do my work well, Francis tells me, I am living Jesus.

I feel Francis gently pushing and encouraging me to simply do the best I can.  When I spend extra time with students, force myself to play that millionth game of cards with the kids, or drag myself out to officiate sibling squabbles, I remind myself that doing my best in each of these roles really does matter. I tell myself that this is where I need to be, even when other responsibilities are put aside or when I’d rather be doing anything else.

Being sheltered in one place results in stressful moments when anger rises, and it feels like these walls are closing in on me.  In those moments, I try to remember Francis’ other directive – be patient with everyone, but above all be patient with yourself.  His words remind me that being gentle on myself is the only way I will get through this; it’s the best way to ensure I can fulfil these roles.  I must make self-care a priority as I care for others.

Like many of you, I am scrambling my way through this new pandemic world.  Francis reminds us to focus on the moment at hand, be gentle with ourselves, and whatever we do, to do that well.  St. Francis de Sales’ words comfort and guide me; I hope they offer solace to you as well.

Paula M. Riley

Communications Consultant

Paula M. Riley

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DeSales Weekly Editor: Fr. Bill McCandless, OSFS

Our Lady of Deliverance: A Reflection on Francis de Sales - A College Student in Crisis; Inspired by the prayerful meditation of an administrator at DeSales University in response to the Coronavirus

Between the ages 16 and 21, Francis de Sales studied in the late 16th century at the College of Clermont in Paris.  There, he experienced tremendous sadness and despair, having difficulty sleeping and maintaining a healthy body weight.  He was deeply preoccupied with the fear of predestination, a popular Calvinistic theological belief that prompted young Francis to worry about eternal damnation.

During these student days, Francis visited St. Etienne-des-Gres Church (St. Stephen) and prayed before the statue of Mary, mother of God daily.  This particular image, known as Our Lady of Deliverance, grew increasingly important to him, for during one of his visits while praying the Memorare, his painful turmoil was lifted, and he experienced a liberating peace that eased his suffering and ended his anxiety.  Francis attributed this grace from God to the prayerful intercession of Mary, Our Lady of Deliverance.

You may not be able to visit this statue, pictured here, on our campus; this is a replica of the one Francis prayed before during his deep struggles while a college student.  Yet, you may join him in the same prayer, the Memorare, which he prayed for years.

Walking together through this journey, we may fear infection with COVID-19; the loss of rich experiences in student life, a favorite clinical setting, the classroom, lab, stage, court or field; anxiety for those we love or hold in solidarity; worry about economic and employment challenges for ourselves and others; or recurring doubts and fears for our futures.  Let us model the faith of our patron, St. Francis de Sales, who was full of similar and sizeable doubts and fears and still turned to God to pray.

We know that our Christian tradition hails Mary as the mother of God.  Our Jewish sisters and brothers acclaim her fidelity to the covenant of Abraham and Sarah, and our Muslim sisters and brothers respect her discipleship, with 15 mentions in their beloved Quran.  Together, during this time of great turmoil and anxiety, let us—like the college student Francis de Sales during his crisis—pray to God through the intercession of Mary, or through another favorite prayer, that we will be delivered from this coronavirus experience.

Memorare
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary,
that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection,
implored your help, or sought your intercession was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly to you, O virgin of virgins, my mother.
To you, I come; before you, I stand, sinful and sorrowful.
O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions,
but in your mercy, hear and answer me.  Amen.

By Rev. Kevin Nadolski, OSFS
Vice President for Mission, DeSales University

DeSales Weekly: https://oblates.squarespace.com/desales-weekly

DeSales Weekly Editor: Rev. John (Jack) Kolodziej, OSFS