Francis & Me: Pam Burson

Pam Burson: Administrative Aide, Oblates of St. Francis de Sales, Toledo-Detroit Province

Pam Burson with her son, Ben

It is now two months since my youngest graduated from St. Francis de Sales School (SFS).  Ben was the student body president for the Class of ‘22 and he gave a Salesian reflection at the opening school mass last September.  It brought me to tears knowing the impact this community had on him.  Ben lives by the class theme, “Do ordinary things extraordinarily well, and with great love.”

I’ve heard quotes from Saint Francis since my oldest son was a freshman in 2009.  “Be who you are and be that perfectly well” was spoken frequently.  Over the years I would pick up a few more.  “Half an hour’s meditation each day is essential, except when you are busy, then a full hour is really needed.”  This was especially meaningful when I had three children in high school.  Adam (SFS ’13), Teresa (St. Ursula ’15), and Joe (SFS ’16).  Those years were a blur with sports, dances, recitals, and activities. Ben was in elementary school and I was working.  Suffice it to say, our calendar was full.

Fast forward to All Saints Day 2016.  November 1 was a Tuesday. I was at work when my daughter texted me that the police had come to our door asking to contact me.  After many frantic phone calls, I would learn that my oldest son had passed away out of state that morning.  Our world was forever changed.

In this, my Salesian reflection I want to express how relatable Saint Francis is in the present time.  Somehow over 400 years ago he knew to write this to me…ok, maybe not TO me, but it sure feels that way.  “Do not fret about what will happen tomorrow, for the same eternal Father who takes care of you today will look out for you tomorrow and always.  Either he will keep you from harm, or he will give you invincible courage to endure it.”  

I began working for the Oblates of St. Francis de Sales three years ago.  I try to learn as much as I can about Saint Francis.  I’m surrounded by his gentleness and strength.  Suaviter et Fortiter as they say.  May you find your quote (or several) to live by.

Francis & Me: Patrick Agnew

Patrick Agnew, parishioner at St. Cecilia, Fort Myers, FL

Patrick Agnew

“Do not look for crosses. God will provide them.” - St. Francis de Sales

Seeing is part of the spiritual life. Nothing enters the soul except by the senses, and for many of us, seeing is the sense we depend upon most. 

I work with seekers in our parish RCIA. When I ask how they made the decision to knock on the parish door and get started, their story often includes seeing a sign from God. At other times, when a seeker is feeling indecisive, I may suggest asking God for a sign. Those who ask open their eyes a little wider, become more attentive and often end up in a deeply personal encounter.  Those who seek find themselves found. 

Sometimes in the spiritual life, we look for trouble. We scrupulously look for crosses, inventing and imagining them. I did that for a time. Then I read Francis’ quote “Do not look for crosses. God will provide them.” Talk about being released!  I just stopped looking. 

But I also stopped seeing. I became less attentive to the divine dimension of the little difficulties that God permits to help build us up. The little crosses, if you will. And eventually, I started to complain about this or that - but especially that person. From my rising to my resting, I complained about that person. It was crushing me. 

So I complained to my Oblate confessor.  He offered “This may be a cross.”  I could almost hear St. Francis speaking those words to me. 

So what now? I am working my way from complaining to carrying. I know that I am in good company; that there really is only one Cross, that Jesus has already carried it, and that I can only be granted a share in it. I know that St. Simon didn’t complain when he carried his share and that whatever I am given will not be “an inch too long or an ounce too heavy.”

And when I remember to look, I see that everyone else is carrying their share, too. 

Francis & Me: Karri Yeager

Today marks the end of the Oblates 14 years of ministering at the Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception in Camden, NJ.  Fr. Mike McCue, OSFS, and Br. Mickey McGrath, OSFS,  will continue to live and serve in Camden.  The reflection below is an example of how the spirit of St. Francis de Sales is alive in the people of Immaculate Conception.   We pray that this spirit remains in the hearts of all who have come to know Salesian Spirituality at the Cathedral.

Karri Yeager: Parishioner at Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception - Camden, NJ

“Great occasions for serving God come seldom, but little ones surround us daily.”

— Saint Francis de Sales

I had spent 37 years working as a pharmacist at a large teaching hospital in Camden, NJ. Camden is famous for being one of the poorest and crime-filled cities in America. People asked if I was afraid to go to work and why I didn’t look for a safer job. My answer was always the same because that’s where I felt needed. 

Camden is full of good hardworking people but poverty and crime takes its toll. I found joy in helping them. Once a wheelchair-bound woman came to me because she couldn’t get her discharge meds because it was late on a Sunday. She started to cry. I took her hand and told her that we would figure it out.  She held my hand and thanked me over and over. Those are the moments I think about late at night.  

I still drive 30 minutes to Camden for Mass. Why? Because everything felt different there. It was almost as if I could feel that little spark of God’s love. There seemed to be a gentle kindness in the air. It is a very small congregation, but it was so diverse. I loved it. The church at that time was being served by the Oblates of St. Francis de Sales. 

Who was this St. Francis de Sales and what were these Oblates all about?  I Googled them. The more I read, the cooler St. Francis de Sales became. I spent hours reading about him. I felt a connection. I wanted to see God in my everyday life too. I started sprinkling that kindness all around. I let other cars merge into traffic. I carry a bag of essentials with me for the homeless. If someone is short at the store, I step up to help. We even quietly gave the Oblates money to use if someone needed emergency help with rent or groceries. We got anonymous thank you notes that broke my heart. 

A friend told me she tries to do one kind thing every day.  Now I do that too. It doesn’t matter how small my gesture is, it still counts. The more I helped, the more I started to understand what St. Francis de Sales meant about finding God in the everyday things. I started to feel I was becoming a more settled and peaceful person. I really liked it. 

St. Francis de Sales helped me see that spark of God in the ordinary experiences and maybe in myself too.

Francis & Me: St. Vincent de Paul Thoughts on St. Jane

Francis & Me: St. Vincent de Paul on St. Jane

While on his last trip to Paris in 1621, Francis de Sales (1567-1622) committed the care of the first Visitation monastery in that city to his friend and fellow priest, Vincent de Paul.   After St. Francis died the following year, Vincent de Paul became the spiritual director of Jane de Chantal, the co-founder (with de Sales) of the Order of the Visitation.   They remained spiritual friends for twenty years, until her death in 1641. 

After her death, the future saint recalled the life of Mother de Chantal:

 “It seemed to me that she was full of every sort of virtue, and particularly of faith. Because of her strong faith, throughout her life, she was beset by strong temptations of doubt.   Yet she always had supreme confidence in God.  Mother de Chantal was wise, moderate, tolerant, and firm to a most unusual degree.  The spirit of humility, austerity, obedience, and zeal for the perfecting of her Order and the salvation of souls absorbed most of her time.  I have never observed any faults in her but always saw her put into practice her virtues and the rule of her community.

Although she seemed to possess the peace and quietness of spirit that is natural to souls that have advanced far in the devout life, she underwent intense inward suffering.  She told me many times in speech and writing that it was a continual effort for her to withhold the thought that she did not deserve to go to heaven.  In spite of this anguish, she never lost her outward calm nor slackened in the practices of a Christian and a nun.  I believe her to have been one of the holiest souls that I have met on this earth.”

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Francis & Me: Ruth Lahnston, College Counselor

Francis & Me: Ruth Lahnston, College Counselor at Georgetown Visitation Preparatory School

"Deal with one another, dear friends, with a care that is genuine, loving, and gentle." - St. Jane de Chantal

Helping students is my life's work, and I have never regretted choosing this field for a moment.  While I have worked with students in many different capacities including admissions, academic advising, and residential life, my time in college counseling has been the most rewarding. There is nothing quite as wonderful as meeting with a student during the spring of her junior year and seeing the possibilities that lie before her, through her eyes. They are filled with optimism, enthusiasm, (a bit of apprehension), and excitement about their goals and future. 

The path to college is unique for each student, and while it is paved with affirmation and successes, there can also be some disappointment. As I read through the passage from St. Jane de Chantal, I recognized the spirit of Visitation in her words. I see this passage come to life almost every day as I watch students gently support each other through the college process. It begins in our college counseling class as we work on each piece of the application, and it continues all the way through until the matriculated colleges are revealed on student kilts. It is the genuine, loving, and gentle care that the students share with each other that ensures a strong foundation and the tools the students take with them to the next exciting stage of their lives.

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Francis & Me: Paula M. Riley

Francis & Me: Paula M. Riley, M.S.

Francis’ Mother’s Day Gift

On Mother’s Day this Sunday, I will get love from my four teenage children.  Their Mother’s Day gifts age as quickly as they do. Gifts have graduated from hug coupons and handpainted flower pots to name brand clothing and fine jewelry. 

Though not as hastily wrapped as the kids’ gifts, there will also be a gift from St. Francis de Sales. This is one I receive every day when I reflect on his teachings. 

Francis’ instruction to “Be who we are and be that well” is my most treasured gift from him and it’s what I employ in my role as a mother every day.  There are many dimensions to being a mother in today’s environment. Societal pressures, competition, and comparisons can lead to feelings of self-doubt and insecurity.  

His words support me; they remind me that I get to define what it means to be a mom, I choose how I engage with my kids, I choose when work takes priority over a game, or when an infraction is punished or ignored. “Be who I am.” Francis tells me that God just wants me to do the best I can, the best way I know how as I use God’s gifts. 

Francis’ words encourage me to ignore other moms’ Facebook posts, discussions on the “best colleges,” details of exotic family vacations, spotless homes, and church attendance.  I celebrate my fellow moms’ successes and joys but Francis remains, perched on my shoulder, reminding me that what I am doing is good enough. I can hear him gently whispering in my ear, “Just be who you are Paula.” 

Salesian Spirituality teaches us that when we live our ordinary lives in an extraordinary way we are serving God. We are being holy.  There is so much “ordinary” in being a mom - completing school forms, purchasing groceries, matching socks, carpooling.  Yet, Francis’ direction has helped me bring meaning to these acts.  He encourages me to enjoy, celebrate, and truly treasure the opportunity to change a messy diaper, sit through a painful piano recital, comfort a child after a loss, make dinner for six, or stand at the soccer sidelines on a cold, blustery day. 

Each and every moment I am a mother to these children I know am engaging in a holy act.   That is what I have learned from Francis, this is his gift to me.  That is what the Oblates taught me: that in the simple, ordinary acts I perform every single day, I am living Jesus.  There is true beauty and grace in the tedious tasks of caring for children and running a household. 

The world will and has acknowledged what I have achieved in my career. Fewer official accolades, however, come from being a mother. Francis comforts me as he tells me that whoever I am and whatever I am doing, when I am using my God-giving gifts that I’ve so generously been given, I am doing His will.

*This is an excerpt from Paula’s reflection shared at Live Jesus! Retreat in March 2022. Watch the full speech here, along with other Live Jesus! 2022 speakers.  Look for announcements for Live Jesus! Retreats in Delaware in December and Virginia &  Pennsylvania in Spring 2023.

Paula M. Riley, M.S.

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Francis & Me: Richard Leonard

Richard Leonard: Eighth Grade Teacher at Our Mother of Consolation, Parish School, Philadelphia, PA 

Richard Leonard

A nun once praised me in eighth grade for being a perfect gentleman.  I was happy there was no one else around.  Growing up in Philly in the 70s was no place for a gentleman.  It was a word that wore a powdered wig or threw its coat over mud puddles for rich ladies.  

My name’s Richard Leonard.  Since the 1980s, I’ve taught seventh and eighth graders in Catholic schools all over Philly.  Whether you’re teaching a boy from North Philly or Manayunk, asking him to behave like a gentleman is still a hard sell.  Stealing a line from Kiss of the Spider Woman, I got further by offering this definition:  A man never lets the people around him feel degraded.  Successful men in America have never been held to this standard.

I now teach at Our Mother of Consolation School (OMC), run by the Oblates of St. Francis de Sales.  De Sales was the Gentleman Saint.  Over the last fourteen years, I’ve begun to see the word gentleman in a more Salesian light.  I was bobbing to the surface from one school closing after another when I met St. Francis de Sales.  When I interviewed with OMC’s pastor, Oblate Fr. Bob Bazzoli, I asked about the monogrammed letters on his shirt pocket.  I must’ve missed something because I told him my parish priests were also Franciscans.  Today I’d be armed in these situations with Salesian wisdom:  “Nothing is more like a wise man than a fool who holds his tongue.”  

What first drew me to Francis de Sales wasn’t his wisdom, it was his example.  It wasn’t just that he never let anyone around him feel degraded.  He pushed further.  He let everyone know they were indispensable to Christ, particularly those with whom society was quick to dispense.  A woman too old or sick to be welcomed as a Bride of Christ in other orders was always in demand at his Visitation Community.  He spent months spelling out the sacraments for a deaf man who wanted to know Christ – while many saw this as beneath his office as Bishop of Geneva.  The Jesus that Francis de Sales lived was kind, not judgmental.  How else would he restore 70,000 fallen-away Catholics to the faith?

Images and sayings of Frances de Sales appear all over the campus of Our Mother of Consolation – in the school, the church, the rectory.  I reflect on many of these as I travel from my eighth-grade class to the room where my wife teaches Pre-K 3.  (We are the gatekeepers of the school).  By her door, a sign says “Worry prevents us from doing well the very things about which we were worried…”  

I flashback to the winter of 2010 when I was in and out of the hospital for a benign brain tumor.  Before my first operation, I’d told my ten-year-old son that the difference between prayer and worry is that only one of them can change anything.  He replied that worry can change things too:  for the worse.  (He was always scary smart).  I wound up deaf in one ear, with balance issues and an anxiety disorder.  During my absence from school, an Oblate would check in on me.  He talked me through this total nervous breakdown.  When he first called, I shared my rigid plan of saying the rosary every day until I started improving, admitting it wasn’t my favorite way to pray.  He told me just to take time to be present in the moment with God.  I’d like to make that a life-long practice.

Every January, the eighth grade plans the liturgy for the Feast of Francis de Sales.  Through art, poetry, and film, we trace the ripples of Francis’ life outward from Jane de Chantal to Don Bosco and his Salesians.  To Louis Brisson and his Oblates.  To all of us who aspire to follow in the humble, inclusive spirit of Francis de Sales.  

Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time we all knew our value.  We’re all indispensable to Christ.

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Francis & Me: Patrick Lonergan

Patrick Lonergan: Father Judge High School, Class of 2022

Every saint has some significance to Christians as a guide or patron. Francis de Sales is a saint whose life and legacy are valued by Father Judge High School and so he continually reminds me of my school community and our values. St. Francis unites our school and challenges us to follow his advice and teachings in our everyday lives. 

We are often told to “be who you are and to be that well.”  At Judge, this seems to be the most well-known and favorite quote of our patron.  Our teachers constantly call us to be “Salesian Gentlemen” and “Judge guys.”  Both phrases are based on the teachings and spirit of St. Francis. Everything about my school and our community is modeled around his life and legacy. From Salesian banners and sayings to images and statues scattered around the school, his impact can be seen everywhere in the hallways and in the classrooms.  During school events, games, and at the start of every class, we ask St. Francis to pray for us.   In almost every classroom an image of our patron or a quote can be seen on the walls.  The “Salesian Seven” is a code of student behavior based on the little virtues of St. Francis.  

Since I started at Father Judge, each theology class has taught me more about the life and legacy of St. Francis DeSales.   During my grade school visitation, I did not know what a “Salesian Gentleman” was. However, once I began classes and experienced life at Father Judge, I learned what all of these phrases and quotes meant.  In theology classes and school assemblies we learned about the Salesian Seven: respecting yourself and others, recognizing our unique gifts and talents, being patient with ourselves and others, being gentle in all we do, being grateful in life, being positive as we go throughout the day, and being confident in ourselves. Some classes focused on one virtue while other classes focused on all of the virtues.   At Judge, we learn to apply these teachings to our personal lives. 

Through our Christian Service program, I learned the value of the saying “nothing is small in the service of God.”  This is a core concept of Salesian Spirituality.  It also gave me the opportunity to be gentle with others. Thus, all these Christian Service events led me back to Salesian Spirituality. So, within these four years, I not only learned what the many Salesian quotes meant but I also learned how to follow Jesus by living like St. Francis De Sales. To summarize my experience as a student at Father Judge High School, the gentle bishop of Geneva is the foundation for everything in our school.

St. Francis de Sales, pray for us!

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Francis & Me: Maureen Furletti

Maureen Furletti: “My Friend, Jane”

Maureen Furletti

It’s Monday evening.  Another chaotic family meal is over.  My teenage kids begrudgingly cleaned the dinner dishes and retreated to their rooms.  While they pretend to do homework, I know they are connecting with friends, FaceTiming and Snapchatting.  I hear the girls giggling.  Should I stomp into their rooms and put an end to their conversations?  Tell them to drop the phone and pick up the Algebra book?  What would my friend Jane do?  Also, a mom, would she approve of their online conversations?  

St. Jane de Chantel was a wife, mother, friend, and foundress.  Even though we live many centuries apart, I call Jane my friend.  I think she could relate to the business of my family life.  I look to her for guidance, as she models Christian womanhood.  I learn a lot from my friend, Jane, especially the importance of putting Christ in the center of relationships.  

Jane teaches me that it is through relationships that we “live Jesus.”  Jane’s spiritual friendship with St. Francis de Sales beautifully models this Christ-centered relationship.  Jane was attentive to the promptings of the Spirit and receptive to Francis’ spiritual direction.  From their director-mentee conversations, a more mature and reciprocal relationship grew.  Their mutual sharing and letter writing gave voice to Salesian spirituality, and the fruits of their friendship and collaboration were manifest in the religious Order of the Visitation of Holy Mary that together they founded.

Jane, the baroness, the widow, the mom of four kids.  Francis, the Bishop of Geneva.  An unlikely pair.  Yet, God gave them the gift of each other, and with Jesus at the center of their relationship, their friendship produced much fruit.  

How can I encourage my children to nurture spiritual friendships?  Jane and Francis’ relationship matured through letter writing.  Can profoundly spiritual friendships mature through digital communications today?  Does social media promote frivolous friendships, or can digital communication create opportunities for deep conversation? As Salesian spirituality reminds me, God is found amid everyday life. As more of our everyday life is lived online, I recognize, then, that God is online. If my children put Christ at the center of their in-person and online conversations, then perhaps they can nurture spiritual friendships.  They can “live Jesus” online.  I think Jane would approve of their Christ-centered online conversations. Yet, I think, like any mom, she’d push them to do their Algebra homework, too.

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Francis & Me: Rich DeLeo

Rich DeLeo - A member of DeSales Network

Rich DeLeo (Right) with Fr. Thomas Dailey, OSFS (Left)

I came to know the teachings of St. Francis de Sales through my engagement with the Oblates of St. Francis de Sales at North Catholic High School in Philadelphia. From the start, my parents developed an implicit trust in the Oblates and Salesian Spirituality. When it came time to choose a college, there was no doubt they wanted me to go to DeSales University…and when I did, I fell in love with the campus and the culture.

On the first day of school, I was surprised to see my principal from North Catholic, Fr. Bill Guerin, OSFS, who had just accepted a role as treasurer.  We immediately agreed to meet from time to time and that began a 40-year friendship that enabled me to benefit from his Salesian Spirituality. There were many of us that had “Fr. G” as our mentor. Early on, he handed me a copy of a little booklet that was based on the “Golden Counsels” by St. Francis de Sales. This booklet was a primer to Salesian Spirituality which was based on the “every day Saint's answers to letters from his parishioners or friends in need.  Any time I faced a challenge in life, “Fr. G” listened and then eventually guided me back to the teaching of St. Francis de Sales. As I got to know many of the other Oblates, including classmates and personal friends of mine like Fr. Tom Dailey, OSFS, I could understand much of how they lived because of my familiarity with St. Francis de Sales’ spirituality and also through the “Golden Counsels” booklet. 

Salesian Spirituality is timeless and is for anyone. That is why St. Francis de Sales is known as the “Everyday Saint”.   This Spirituality entails thoughtful and incisive wisdom for everyone, in all walks of life. When I first started to read the book and think about applying it to my life, I was amazed at how humble St. Francis de Sales was and also how he was genuinely devoted to Christ. I once had the benefit of hearing Fr. Tom Dailey speaks on the life of St. Francis de Sales and saw that this humble man could be inspired to great and fearless acts of courage because of his faith. He was a devoted pastor and friend who sincerely loved his flock and wanted to see everyone attain peace and get to heaven.

The examples of Fr. Guerin, Fr. Dailey, and all the Oblates by living Salesian Spiritually influenced my life and the lives of many others in a way that is hard to put into words. To this day, I keep a copy of this booklet in my briefcase, my desk, my car, and by my bedside.  Salesian Spirituality is part of my life and I am eternally grateful. 

On this 400th anniversary of St. Francis de Sales’ death, it is my sincere hope and prayer that everyone and anyone avail themselves of learning Salesian Spirituality and reading about St. Francis de Sales. If you do, he may end up a lifelong companion and a source of timeless wisdom as he has for me. Peace.

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Learn more about the DeSales Network and upcoming Networking Breakfast.

Francis & Me: Patricia McGlinn

Patricia Mc Glinn - Former Director of Managed Care Services for the Wilmington-Philadelphia Province of the Oblates of St. Francis de Sales

I have worked closely with the Oblates of St. Francis de Sales for many years, especially in my role as Director of Managed Care Services for the Wilmington-Philadelphia Province.   My work with the Oblates began in the 1980s.  I had raised four children and three of my boys graduated from Father Judge – the high school in northeast Philadelphia staffed by the Oblates.  At the time I worked as a nurse medical case manager in several hospitals as well as for Independence Blue Cross.   The Oblates needed someone to coordinate the health care needs of their province which had 250 members and no organized health care management system.  I worked with Fr. Joseph Morrissey, OSFS, first in his capacity as Provincial Treasurer and then as the Oblate Provincial.  I was a member of his senior staff for seventeen years.   

Working with the Oblates was a ministry much more than a profession.  Together we built Annecy Hall and cared for the retired priest and brothers with professionalism and respect. As St Francis de Sales would say, one day at a time.  I am filled with awe and gratitude for those years.  There were some difficult times for sure, but the good times far outweighed the little stumbles.

Even though I had a brother, Fr. Tom Gillespie, who was an Oblate priest, I never thought that I would be involved with the health care needs of a bunch of priests and brothers, never mind overseeing operations at Annecy Hall. God’s will for me led me to opportunities to use my gifts and talents to help the Oblate community address the urgent medical care needs of the members of the province as well as to develop relationships that have truly changed my life.   

St. Francis de Sales and St. Jane de Chantel continue to be inspirations in my life.  Doing the little things extraordinary well is a real challenge, especially as I deal with the myriad challenges of my own medical care.  However, the opportunity given to me to experience Salesian spirituality in the ordinary moments of my day has been and continues to be a precious and cherished gift!  

My interactions over many years with aging religious has given me a personal perspective as I struggle each day with my own aging issues. My association with my Oblate brothers has provided me with the Salesian tools I need to see these challenges as opportunities.  These occasions enhance my relationship with God as I make my own personal journey toward the Kingdom!  In a very real way, my work and my vocation as a health care provider has been a blessing to me on many levels.  One of the most important blessings it provided me was the opportunity to get to know St. Francis de Sales and his gift of Salesian spirituality – priceless.

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Please consider donating to assist in the medical and care expenses of our senior Oblates. Any and all donations are greatly appreciated.

Francis & Me: Sisters of St. Joseph of Carondelet, Albany Province

Sisters of St. Joseph of Carondelet, Albany Province

St. Francis de Sales is an important person to the Sisters of St. Joseph because we follow an Ignatian-SALESIAN spirituality: “Ignatian” because our cofounder was a Jesuit and “Salesian” because Ignatius had a great influence on Francis de Sales. As Sisters of St. Joseph, we strive for the Ignatian ideal of “Magis”— discerning the divine in every situation, always reaching higher, giving more for “the greater glory of God,” and we follow the Salesian call to gentleness, kindness, hope, optimism, and joy and to attitudes of welcome and hospitality. Our Consensus Statement sums it up well: “The Sister of Saint Joseph moves always towards profound love of God and love of neighbor without distinction … in an Ignatian-Salesian climate: that is, with an orientation towards excellence tempered by gentleness, peace, joy.”

Visit Sisters of St. Joseph of Carondelet, Albany Province to learn more about their order!

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Francis & Me: Kyle O'Neal

Kyle O'Neal, Salesianum School Class of 2022

St. Francis de Sales was a Bishop and Doctor of the Church who was immensely impactful in his diocese and across Europe.  St. Francis has also played a massive role in my life and development as a student, friend, family member, and overall well-rounded young person. He has influenced everything that I am today. Before coming to Salesianum School,  I did not know much about this Salesian saint. Being from the Diocese of Wilmington, DE, I had heard some very minor details of his life and some of the sayings and quotes he is known for (St. Francis is the patron of the Diocese of Wilmington).

That all changed the first time I stepped into the Salesianum School building. 

I was taken by how much this school integrated the teachings and life of one person into everyday school life. Over the years I have learned to be the best possible person I can be through everything I do.  On the sports field, in the classroom, with my family, friends, and even with strangers, I have learned to be my best self. I have been inspired to never give up on anything I do. I have seen the sayings of this 17th century French bishop put into practice in the 21st century.  I have been challenged to “bend don’t break,” to “rise up,” to “be who you are and to be that well.” This list of gentle yet powerful quotes could go on.  Salesianum has taught me so many other virtues that I live by and think about every day. I   will continue to rely on them as I prepare to graduate.  

St. Francis has done more for me than I can think of. He is truly a model for my life and anyone who wishes to be themselves.  One of the best things I have learned at Salesianum is to live like St. Francis de Sales. However, he reminds me that it is most essential that we try to live like Jesus!

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Francis & Me: Ben Burson

Ben Burson, St. Francis de Sales H.S., Class of 2022

Each year our school selects a Salesian theme for the year. One of my duties as student body president is to help our leadership team find a quote that is both practical and one that we could use in our daily lives.  The quote we chose is: “do ordinary things well, and with great love”. 

Most of us are familiar with the first part of the quote.   But I think we often forget the second half of the theme. Francis de Sales calls us to live our lives centered in great love. 

Besides being student body president, I play hockey and lacrosse.  I share this to show that I’m involved in a wide array of activities at St. Francis. Engaging in each of these activities culminates in a lot of “little things” that build the overall school experience for all of us. I would say I do it for the love of my school but also to share that love with others. 

2012 was my oldest brother Adam’s senior year. I was the “water boy” that year on his hockey team. From day one, I was welcomed as “one of the guys.” I did everything with the older guys.  We played video games at team dinners, held hands as we prayed the “Our Father'' in the locker room, and felt I was as much of the team as everyone else.   

I was out of my comfort zone but everyone in that locker room, especially Adam, was right by my side the entire time. The season itself was less spectacular but the memories made will be with me forever. It was here that my love for the brotherhood began and years later these memories would take on a new meaning.

In August of 2015, I learned that Adam was a heroin addict. Within weeks he would be sent to a recovery center in Florida.  I would not see Adam again until my brother Joe’s graduation from St. Francis in May of the following year. On November 1st, 2016, Adam would finally succumb to his addiction. Fr. Newman presided over his funeral Mass in our school chapel. The philosophy of St. Francis de Sales - “Suaviter et Fortiter” (gentle-strength) -  truly described my brother and these words were placed on his headstone. 

I share this story because Adam’s passing made those cherished memories come to the forefront.  Everything I do at St. Francis High School serves to strengthen these memories and to do all of the little things in life with power and passion.

In whatever you do, recognize what you love and love greatly.  

Live every day of your life well.  Live Jesus!

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Francis & Me: Pope Pius XI

Pope Pius XI Declares St. Francis de Sales the “Patron Saint of Writers”

We are now happily called upon to celebrate the Third Centenary of the entrance into heaven of another great saint, one who was remarkable not only for the sublime holiness of life which he achieved but also for the wisdom with which he directed souls in the ways of sanctity. This saint was no less a person than Francis de Sales, Bishop of Geneva and Doctor of the Universal Church.  He seemed to have been sent especially by God for a very special mission. His task was to give the lie to a prejudice which in his lifetime was deeply rooted and has not been destroyed even today, that the ideal of sanctity held up for our imitation by the Church is impossible of attainment or, at best, is so difficult that it surpasses the capabilities of the great majority of the faithful and is, therefore, to be thought of as the exclusive possession of a few great souls. St. Francis likewise disproved the false idea that holiness was not adaptable to a life lived outside the cloister walls.

Whoever attentively reviews the life of St. Francis will discover that, from his earliest years, he was a model of sanctity. He was not a gloomy, austere saint but was most amiable and friendly with all, so much so that it can be said of him most truthfully, "her conversation (wisdom) hath no bitterness, nor her company any tediousness, but joy and gladness." (Wisdom, viii, 16)   He excelled in the meekness of heart, a virtue so peculiar to himself that it might be considered his most characteristic trait.  This virtue, which grew in the heart of St. Francis as a delightful effect of his love of God and was nourished by the spirit of compassion and tenderness, so tempered with sweetness the natural gravity of his demeanor and softened both his voice and manners that he won the affectionate regard of everyone whom he encountered.

We learn from the Saint how not only to perform the customary acts of everyday life but how to do these things correctly with the sole intention of pleasing God.   He teaches us how not only to conquer dangers, temptations, and the allurements of pleasure but how every year it is necessary for each of us to renew and to rekindle his love of God by the making of holy resolutions. 

It is important for the Christian people to turn to the example of holiness given by St. Francis, so that they may be edified thereby and may make his teachings the rule of their own lives. It would be impossible to exaggerate the value of his books and pamphlets to attain this purpose. These books ought to be distributed as widely as possible among Catholics, for his writings are easy to understand and can be read with great pleasure. They cannot but inspire in the souls of the faithful a love of true and solid piety, a love which the clergy can develop with most happy results if they but learn to assimilate thoroughly the teachings of St. Francis and to imitate the kindly qualities which characterized his preaching.

It is our wish that the greatest fruits should be gained from this solemn Centenary by those Catholics who as journalists and writers expound, spread, and defend the doctrines of the Church. It is necessary that they, in their writings, imitate and exhibit at all times that strength joined always to moderation and charity, which was the special characteristic of St. Francis. He, by his example, teaches them in no uncertain manner precisely how they should write.

Since St. Francis, up to this time, has not been named the Patron of Writers in any solemn and public document of this Apostolic See, We take this happy occasion, after mature deliberation and in full knowledge, by Our Apostolic authority, to hereby publish, confirm and declare by this encyclical, everything to the contrary notwithstanding, St. Francis de Sales, Bishop of Geneva and Doctor of the Church, to be the Heavenly Patron of all Writers.

* Given by Pope Pius XI (1837-1939)

On the celebration of the 300th Anniversary of the death of St. Francis de Sales

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Francis & Me: Anthony Vu

Anthony Vu - Father Judge High School Class of 2022

To many people, St. Francis de Sales is a famous bishop, saint, and spiritual doctor of the Church. For me, he is more than these titles. St. Francis de Sales is a man who has had a tremendous and profound effect on my everyday life. 

At Father Judge, the famous phrase of St. Francis “Be who you are and be that well” can be found on the signs, banners, and walls of our school. You can find teachers, staff members, administrators, and students saying this all the time. When I was a freshman at Judge, “Be who you are and be that well” was honestly just a quote to me. I didn’t make much of it. But, as I have journeyed through high school, the constant repetition of this Salesian saying made me ask why this one quote was constantly being repeated. Through class retreats, discussions in theology classes, and reflecting on this saying, I came to realize what St. Francis de Sales was saying to me. 

Today, “Be who you are and be that well” is how I strive to live my life.  Being who I really am, and being my best self, begins by being with God.  It means taking time for God each day. God is supposed to be #1 in my life, but this can be a challenge at times because I often want to do my own thing.  Being myself means walking with God each day and using my God-given talents and gifts to their fullest.   The teachings of St. Francis de Sales push me to complete assignments and do various tasks when I’m lazy or I don’t want to do them.  

The Salesian virtues and values taught at Father Judge (summarized as the “Salesian Seven”) help me to live a good life.   The life and teachings of Francis de Sales show me how I should live my life every day.  I have learned to respect myself and others.  I have tried to recognize my unique gifts and talents and use them to my fullest potential. I strive to be patient with everyone, especially with myself.  If I am patient, then I will be gentle, not quick to anger or frustrated. If I am positive, I will be grateful for all the blessings from God. If I am confident, then I know who I am, and I can be that well.

Following the example and teachings of St. Francis de Sales helps me to be my best self.   Being my best self helps me to live every day in the present moment and living the Salesian virtues helps me to live every day well.   

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Francis & Me: Pope Benedict XVI

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Pope Benedict XVI: "God is the God of the human heart."

These apparently simple words give us an impression of the spirituality of a great teacher of whom I would like to speak to you today: St Francis de Sales, a Bishop, and Doctor of the Church.

The influence of his life and his teaching on Europe in his lifetime and in the following centuries is immense. He was an apostle, preacher, writer, man of action and of prayer dedicated to implanting the ideals of the Council of Trent; he was involved in dialogue with the Protestants, experiencing increasingly, over and above the necessary theological confrontation, the effectiveness of personal relationship and of charity; he was charged with diplomatic missions in Europe and with social duties of mediation and reconciliation.

Yet above all St. Francis de Sales was a director: from his encounter with a young woman, Madame de Charmoisy, he was to draw the inspiration to write one of the most widely read books of the modern age, The Introduction to a Devout Life.  

A new religious family was to come into being from his profound spiritual communion with an exceptional figure, St Jane Frances de Chantal.   The Order of the Visitation, as the Saint wished, was characterized by total consecration to God lived in simplicity and humility, in doing ordinary things extraordinarily well.

To Philothea, the ideal person to whom he dedicated his Introduction to a Devout Life (1607), Francis de Sales addressed an invitation that might well have seemed revolutionary at the time. It is the invitation to belong completely to God, while living to the full her presence in the world and the tasks proper to her state. “My intention is to teach those who are living in towns, in the conjugal state, at court” (Preface to The Introduction to a Devout Life). The Document with which Pope Leo XIII, more than two centuries later, was to proclaim him a Doctor of the Church, would insist on this expansion of the call to perfection, to holiness.

It says: “[true piety] shone its light everywhere and gained entrance to the thrones of kings, the tents of generals, the courts of judges, custom houses, workshops, and even the huts of herdsmen” (cf. Brief, Dives in Misericordia, 16 November 1877).

Thus, came into being the appeal to lay people and the care for the consecration of temporal things and for the sanctification of daily life on which the Second Vatican Council and the spirituality of our time were to insist.  

It is not for nothing that we rediscover traces precisely of this teacher at the origin of many contemporary paths of pedagogy and spirituality; without him neither St. John Bosco nor the heroic “Little Way” of St Thérèse of Lisieux would have come into being.

Dear brothers and sisters, in an age such as ours that seeks freedom, even with violence and unrest, the message of this great teacher of spirituality and peace shows us the true “spirit of freedom.”  

• Given by Pope Benedict at his General Audience on March 2, 2011  

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Francis & Me: Ryan Corey

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Ryan Corey, Salesianum School Class of 2022

          St. Francis de Sales: bishop of Geneva and Doctor of the Church. That is exactly who he was and who he is to many. However, to me, he is someone that means so much more. He has had a profound impact on my life and will undoubtedly continue to have this effect as I move into the next chapter of my life at college. To me, Francis de Sales will always be the person that changed how I view life. 

          Ever since my freshman year at Salesianum, I have always been constantly reminded of one quote daily: “Be who you are and be that well.” When I first heard that I more or less shrugged it off; I didn’t think about too much. It was simply just the Salesianum equivalent of sayings such as “Be you” or “Be yourself”, except Francis de Sales came up with this one. But no, It was so much more than that. I first fully began to understand the quote when I heard the second part, “To give honor to the master craftsman whose handiwork you are.” Well now I’m not just being me for myself, I’m being me for God, but there was still one issue, what exactly does “Being who you are being that well” mean. It cannot just mean doing what I want to do because that’s who I think I am. No, it must mean I should try to use all my gifts and talents to their fullest, even if that means that I have to do something I don’t want to do. Now, my mind goes back to Saint Francis every day. Every assignment I don’t want to do, every shift I don’t want to work, I think back and realize that not doing these things would be failing to be my best self. Even more so, not trying to help my friends, family, or anyone who may need me, even in the smallest ways possible, would be failing to be my best self. Likewise, everyone around me, just by doing the things they are called to each day, is being their best selves. 

          Beyond being my best self, I find that I always turn back to Saint Francis de Sales at particularly stressful times in my life, especially right now with the spring semester having just begun. At times such as these, I’m always reminded of my favorite quote from Saint Francis. It is a quote that reminds me that no matter what happens in life, no matter how bad things may seem, God will always be there for me, to turn to and hold on to. And so I end with it, “Do not fear what may happen tomorrow, the same understanding Father who cares for you today will take care of you then and every day. He will either shield you from suffering or will give you unfailing strength to bear it. Be at peace, and put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginations.”

Francis & Me: Pope John XXIII

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Pope John XXIII (1881-1963) was proud to tell people that St. Francis de Sales was one of his favorite saints. 

On the Feast of St. Francis de Sales, in 1903, “Good” Pope John wrote:

“Today was a perfect feast; I spent it in the company of St. Francis de Sales, my gentlest of saints. What a magnificent figure of a man, priest and bishop! If I were like him, I would not mind even if they were to make me Pope! I love to let my thoughts dwell on him, on his goodness and on his teaching. I have read his life so many times! His counsels are so acceptable to my heart. By the light of his example, I feel more inclined to humility, gentleness and calm. My life, so the Lord tells me, must be a perfect copy of that of St. Francis de Sales if I wish to bear good fruits. Nothing extraordinary in me or my behavior... except my way of doing ordinary things, ‘all ordinary things but done in no ordinary way.” A great, a burning love for Jesus Christ and His Church: unalterable serenity of mind, wonderful gentleness with my fellow men, that is all. Oh my loving saint, as I kneel before you at this moment, there is so much I could say to you! I love you tenderly and I will always remember you and look to you for help. Oh St. Francis, I can say no more; you can see into my heart, give me what I need to become like you.” 

–JOURNAL OF A SOUL, JAN. 29, 1903 

“Francis & Me” Reflections

For four centuries, people from all walks of life have been influenced by the teachings of Saint Francis de Sales. On this page, you'll find reflections from those who have been influenced by our patron saint.

Click on the images below to read reflections!

Lindagale Dube: Parishioner at St. John Neumann Parish, Reston, VA; Former librarian at Bishop Ireton High School, Alexandria, VA; Member of Live Jesus! Communities, VA

Miranda Clark-Binder: Art & Art History Educator at Our Mother of Consolation Parish School, Philadelphia, PA

Kathy Wickham: Parishioner of Holy Family Parish, Adrian., MI

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Dr. Olga Rasmussen: Parishioner of St. John Neumann Catholic Community in Reston, VA

Marge Van Lierde: Parishioner of Our Lady of Good Counsel in Vienna, VA

Maureen A. Furletti: Graduate Student, Loyola Institute for Ministry, Loyola University New Orleans; Parishioner, Our Mother of Consolation Church, Philadelphia, PA

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Claire Burchell: Parishioner of St. John Neumann Catholic Community, Reston, VA

Tom Vresics: Founder of Salesian Lay Association of Men (S.L.A.M.)

Margaret Emerson: Parishioner and Assistant Preschool Teacher at St. John Neumann Catholic Community, Reston, VA

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Elisabeth Showalter: Mathematics Teacher at Georgetown Visitation Preparatory School, Washington, DC

CJ Capen: Director of Music at St. John Neumann Parish in Reston, VA

Dr. Carol Raphael: Parishioner of Saint John Neumann in Reston, VA

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Loyes Spayd: Daughter of St. Francis de Sales, Retired Religious Educator, Pastoral Minister, and parishioner of Saint John Neumann in Reston, VA

Michael Swiger: parishioner at St. John Neumann Parish, Reston, VA

Margaret E. Ayala: MFA, Assistant Professor and Director of First Year Writing at DeSales University

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Maureen Furletti: Graduate Student, Institute for Ministry, Loyola University New Orleans

Martin Brett, Ph.D.: Associate Professor & Chair, Sport Management, at DeSales University

Paul Cillo: Pastoral Associate for Youth Ministry at Our Mother of Consolation

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Nick Grant: Postulant in Formation. Salesianum School Class of 2018

Lisa Lickona, STL: Assistant Professor of Systematic Theology at Saint Bernard’s School of Theology and Ministry in Rochester, New York

Pam Burson: Administrative Aide for the Oblates of St. Francis de Sales, Toledo-Detroit Province

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Patrick Agnew: parishioner at St. Cecilia, Fort Myers, FL

Mrs. Maureen Dwyer: Theology Teacher/Department Chairperson at Fr. Judge High School

Marshal Bell: St. Francis de Sales High School, Class of 2022

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Karri Yeager: Parishioner at Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception - Camden, NJ

Sidonie Becton: ‘07, Tri-Chair, Alumnae Diversity, Equity, & Inclusion Committee at Georgetown Visitation Preparatory School

St. Vincent de Paul

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Ellen Hildenbrand: Religion Department Chair, Salesianum School

Ruth Lahnston: College Counselor

Duncan Borland: St. Francis de Sales High School, Class of 2022

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Paula M. Riley: Mother

Richard Leonard: Teacher at Our Mother of Consolation Parish School, Philadelphia, PA

Patrick Lonergan: Father Judge High School, Class of 2022

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Maureen Furletti

Rich DeLeo: A member of DeSales Network

Patricia McGlinn: Former Director of Managed Care Services for the Wilmington-Philadelphia Province of the Oblates of St. Francis de Sales

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The Sisters of St. Joseph of Carondelet, Albany Province

Kyle O'Neal: Salesianum School Class of 2022

Ben Burson: St. Francis de Sales High School Class of 2022

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Pope Pius XI Declares St. Francis de Sales the “Patron Saint of Writers”

Anthony Vu: Father Judge High School Class of 2022

Pope Benedict XVI: "God is the God of the human heart."

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Daniel M. Kerns, Jr.: Leadership in the Salesian Tradition

Ryan Corey: Salesianum School Class of 2022

Pope John XXIII (1881-1963) was proud to tell people that St. Francis de Sales was one of his favorite saints..